DS goes to a private school, and there is one lad in the class who seems to be making life miserable for many of them.
Many families have avoided having Birthday parties for their kids, as it's not fair to leave one kid out, but the birthday child does not want him at their party, due to his bullying/nastiness.
DS has had problems with him for a couple of years now, but this year has been the worst. Things have been so bad that DS (age 8) has talked of killing himself, as he feels that is the only way out. He cries regularly, it is difficult to get him to school in the mornings, and I have started taking him to see a counsellor, to help him to manage his feelings (the school knows this).
DS is not the only one in the class who is having issues with this boy - many of the others have been subjected to being punched / kicked / pushed over / and nasty comments & put downs so often that I have lost count!
One afternoon, DS came out from school, in absolute bits, saying that this bully had got him in the changing room after PE, pinned him down on the floor, made him beg to get up, and then once he released DS, he grabbed DS's clothes, and chucked them all up in the air, they then landed on the muddy floor :( How humiliating.
That was the final straw for me, so I booked an appointment with the head of the junior school, and myself & DH booked the morning off work, and went and had a discussion about the issues.
They said that they would have to involve the parents (who I usually get on ok with) and since that happened, the parents (who could have approached me and expressed their regret that this was happening etc, and asked if DS was ok maybe) decided to blank me for a few weeks instead. Nice.
This kid has ramped things up a bit lately - he's started biting.
First I know of, it happened at a party, a few months back, according to the bitee's mum, the bitemarks were still visible when she went to collect her son at the end of the party. He was very upset, understandably.
Then he bit another kid, on Monday, at school.
Then, on Thursday, he bit a third kid (so that's two in one week!).
As they came out of school, my son blurted out what had happened, in front of me, the victims mum, and also the mother of the biter (let's call him Jaws).
The biter's Mother's reaction (as always seems to be the case whenever her son bullies someone in any way) was not one of empathy/regret, but more of a "well, what were the circumstances?" type of attitude. Turns out, they were playing 'it' and the bitee had tapped the biter, and said "it". Turns out that Jaws is a bit of a bad loser.
Even so, I cannot see any situation where one human biting another is justifiable.
It's breathtaking.
It's as if Jaws can do no wrong in her eyes, every time he does anything out of line, it seems that according to her, it's always the other kid that did something to deserve it somehow.
Since my son spoke out and told us what Jaws had done that day, I'm getting blanked again, by Jaws' Mother. Great, so I guess it's our fault for DS telling & not her son's fault for actually thinking it's ok to bite another person.
If an adult did that, wouldn't it be classed as assault?
DH is a teacher, I asked him what would happen at his school (secondary) if a kid did that, he said that they would be excluded straight away.
I apologise for rambling if you've got this far.
I feel so frustrated, our kids are 8, I can only imagine what things are going to be like in a few years time when the testosterone kicks in.
I'm so annoyed that the Mum won't acknowledge what the bitees have experienced, only found ways to blame them, and for not dealing with her sons behaviour, but instead just makes excuses for it.
I'm seriously thinking of moving DS to another school. He has endured so much, and it has had such an impact on him and the way he perceives himself. He keeps telling me that he feels weak, and that he scared to stand up to Jaws, as he is worried that he will end up in trouble himself, or that the bullying will get worse.
What are your thoughts?
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Bullying
DS getting bullied by a kid that bites
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bullinthesea · 05/07/2014 18:26
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