Son being bullied by friend

[OrionStar]

Hi. I'm not sure where to start. My DS is constantly being put down, told he is useless, talked about to other friends etc. My DS plays alot of sport with this boy as they are both in the same cricket and football teams. We are also neighbours and friends with his parents, however unfortunately the mother believes he can do no wrong and when I have even mentioned something she has been completely defensive and refused to believe that her son has done anything wrong. Fortunately my son is very laid and takes it all on the chin, however it is making my life a misery. Any suggestions would be gratefully received. This is my first thread so apologies if I've not done it right!

[MrsWinnibago]

How old is your son? You have my sympathies as this kind of bullying can be the most confusing and hard to deal with for children.

I had a similar situation as a child...I was 9, 10 and 11 when it was going on and eventually I broke free by completely disregarding the girl in question.

I stopped visiting her, stopped sitting by her in class and completely left her alone. She was, I see now VERY insecure and needed me to cope...her fear of losing me must have driven her to bullying and controlling behaviour.

I would strongly advise that you tell your DS to withdraw from the boy in all aspects...don't socialise with him and I appreciate this may be difficult when you are friends with his parents but it doesn't sound like they're realistic.

[NickiFury]

How old are they? In similar situations I have been known to hover around and say extremely coldly "no he/she isn't, don't be so silly". Then ignore child completely while talking happily to my own dc.

I took dd into school one time after a few weeks of low level spitefulness towards and her friend ran up excitedly to see her only to be pulled away by other "friend" who was saying "remember we said we won't tell her The Secret!" Dd looked at me with such an agonised look as this kind of thing was clearly going on all the time. So I told "friend" not to be so nasty and I would be speaking to her teacher and Mum if it carried on, really coldly and firmly. No more problems since then. They are only 7 though. Easier to nip in the bud when they're younger.

[itiswhatitiswhatitis]

Firstly I would be distancing myself from the friendship and minimising the amount of contact they have outside of school/clubs.

Unfortunately your son does need to recognise that he is not a friend and like mrswinabago suggests withdraw from the friendship as much as possible.

[OrionStar]

Thank you for your comments. My son's 13. I think there is quite a lot of jealousy on the other boys part. Unfortunately playing in the same teams it's difficult to distance ourselves, however my son has said he's not going to play with him. I think we just need to stay away as much as possible.

[NickiFury]

Ah, harder at that age definitely would still do what I said in my post though

[OrionStar]

Yes, think I might try that NickiFury, thanks.