URGENT HELP & ADVICE NEED ED ASAP plzzzz

[beccaewen]

It's so difficult to Explain my situation (as it's just so long) but am asking for any help,advice on my next move! Basically this is my current situation; My son who is a lover never a fighter came home Thursday with a huge black eye & bruised all down the left side of his body! Also suffering from major shock (as am I) in the clock rokm at the end of school he got punched in the ribs and stomach then punched in the face, he fell back then into the floor! Which the child continued kicking his body! Kicked my son in the side of his head (temple) and finished by stamping on my son's head!!! The child is only 10! Who carried out this attack!my son is 9! They are both in the same class at school.my sons friend had not pulled the boy away I dread 2 think how long he'd have taken his rage out on my son.my child minder called me at work in utter distress. I spoke to a teacher who totally played it down! I've since met with the head teacher the following morning (she would carry out an investigation, Monday morning) she informed me she put the child in isolation for 2 days. He will be back in class tomorrow morning. My son has had nightmares every night since. I will not let this happen 2 another child!what am i meant 2 do??

[foolonthehill]

I am so sorry that your son (and you) have found yourselves in this position.

For starters this was extreme and serious physical assault. And you should consider reporting it to the police. If the bruises are still visible take your son to the GP and have the injuries described and verified. The assailant is 10 so it will probably just result in a visit and a warning but assaults like this may be an indication of problems at home.Iif this is the case the police may see other indications and find help for the family...and the school may not be aware of problems. It is not punitive but a good way to register the severity of the assault and acknowledge that physical violence like this does not arise in a vacuum.
Also insist that the school head discusses with you and your son the action plan from this point forward how much contact he will have with his bully, how much physical distance the school has asked the bully to keep betwen him and others and guidelines of where to go if your son needs a safe place . Also they should reassure you both that ANY bullying will be clamped down on and that your son will ALWAYS be believed.

For your son: Rehearse simple things like walking into a room confidently (fake it till you make it) good eye contact and teach your child non- effective violent ways to deal with bullies, like walking away, playing with friends, or talking it out. Practice them with him. It will empower him
Help your child act with self-confidence. Practice walking upright, looking people in the eye, and speaking clearly.
Get him to talk about it with his friends and to make plans 9not vigilante groups!!) of how to avoid bullying together as a group and how to help each other.


Consider taking your son to Learn how to defend himself. Try to find official classes where people can teach you how to defend yourself during violence. Knowing how to defend himself well from a bully might make the bully think twice before engaging with him. in any case it will increase his self confidence.

Good luck.
I hope this helps.

[foolonthehill]

sorry not "non effective violent" ways but effective non-violent ways!! duh

[GreenishMe]

This doesn't sound like a silly brawl between two boys and the teacher shouldn't have played it down. It was a vicious assault that could have caused serious head injury.

Yes the boy's only 10 but both he and his family need to be spoken to by the police. I would make a complaint to the police asap while the extent of the injuries are still visible. I'd also put in a written complaint to the school with a copy to the education authority.

I'm not sure a visit from the police will change the general behaviour of the boy concerned but it will be a warning for him to keep away from your son or else face consequences. I think it will offer your son some protection against a continuation of the violence and that's what he needs.

It isn't just about the physical injuries...it must have really traumatised your son and I feel really sorry for him.

[beccaewen]

Help with my 9yr old son! Who was assaulted at school

[beccaewen]

Thankyou for your advice, I took my son back into school the following morning (as hard as it was) to face his peers and the questions they will have, especially as my son's class mates and close friends were devastated too. My issue is that the head teacher seems to be sweeping it under the carpet!..so to speak. She has made no contact with me since the incident last Thursday and it has been me calling and requesting updates. She got both boys together yesterday to talk and obviously for the boy to apologise. My son's first reaction was to apologise to him for anything that may have made him do this. But the boy did not apologise and also has a cast on his hand due to fractured knuckles (from the punch he gave my son in the eye). He has not been allowed in class this last 2 days. But will be back in class tomorrow morning. They are in the same class! My son is having nightmares and I feel alone and lost! The school just want to keep this quiet. I have taken daily pictures of my son's face.should I contact the police or will they just also not be very bothered??

[EBearhug]

Please contact the police - it's good you've got the photos. You can dial 101, as it's not an emergency, and they can talk you through what can happen next.

[gamerchick]

Ring the police.. he's 10 and can be dealt with.

Poor thing. :(

[beccaewen]

Thank you. You have seemed to totally grasped the situation, i'm having to watch my son's personality disappear, while trying my hardest to keep strong and boost confidence back into him. This is just not normal, we don't condone violence or tolerate bullies. My son is being so brave but as him mum I know deep down he's struggling and worried every minute.

[steppemum]

This is pretty extreme, and is a violent assault. No matter what the problems are for the other child, the school has to keep your child safe.

I think it should be reported to the police, because it was so violent.

[beccaewen]

Thank you. I will do. I should of done it that same day! But instead I thought the school would do the right thing! And not condone such violence! It's flipping primary school....

[steppemum]

I would go in with him in the morning and ask for them to tell you how they are going to keep him safe today.

[beccaewen]

Thankyou everyone, especially the last 3 posts. I really needed to hear this and gIves me the strength x

[beccaewen]

Thanks Ebearhug, gamerchick and stepmum xx

[beccaewen]

Crystalskulls - I didn't take him to my gp! I really should of (thinking about it now! ) I was just trying so hard to keep normality for him, my friends husband is a doctor and had a look and said he is very bruised but didn't look like his cheekbone or eye socket shouldn't heal ok. I did tale pictures each day, he is physically healing slowly but it's had a major impact on him emotionally too. I will definitely be calling the police in the morning to seek advise. As the boy just seems to have no remorse, and feel social sservices need to look into this boys own welfare.

[Simile]

What did the police day becca?

[lunar1]

I hope your ds is on the mend. What did the police say?