How do I help my dd? She is 8 and since she was at nursery has been 'best friends' with another girl. They are in the same class at school. Now, the relationship has always been a slightly tempestuous one and I have always had slight reservations about it. The other girl is very competitive and seems to need to put others down in order to boost her own esteem. However, dd is quite quiet and kind and although she has benefitted from the relationship in some ways, she lets this girl manipulate her and control her.
The problems really seem to have started though since another girl became close to the best friend and is her new 'best friend'. They now seem to leave dd out and their friendship seems to have it's foundations in putting dd down, criticising what she wears, how she has her hair etc. This wouldn't be too hard to deal with but they also seem intent on sabotaging any new friendships she tries to establish. So although they exclude her a lot of the time from playing with the pair of them, when they see her playing or talking with someone else they take them away and whisper things so she is left alone. Basically all this amounts to bullying and has been going on for about a year now.
DD is understandably upset and starting to not want to go to school. She just feels so left out all the time. I have talked to her teacher about it who has had a general chat with the class but it doesn't really seem to help. I think there needs to be a more direct approach. The problem is I don't really see how things can be made much better. They can't force these girls to be friends with dd, and it's not as easy to just make new friends at this age as the friendship groups in the class are well established. She just wants to be included and feel she belongs, not be on the edge of the groups.
Has anyone experience of a similar situation and can offer advice?
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Best friend turned bully.
11 replies
fishyfriend · 24/10/2013 07:17
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