Are they too young for this to be called "bullying"?

[Mum123456]

My daughter is 4 and a 1/2 and only began reception class two weeks ago. She is an only child but has been at nursery since she was 18months so is used to being around other children.

Yesterday she came home from school seeming a little subdued. I asked her how her day was an she said it was okay. After a quiet period she said that another boy had pushed her over and began to cry. I asked why he done this and she said "so that other people would laugh." I arrived at school early this morning so I could have a word with the teacher but she said that she was busy and to book an appointment with her.

After school today, again I asked how her day was and again she said "OK". I asked who she played with and she said nobody, as she didn't know who she could play with. In a separate conversation she told me that she couldn't go on the slide at play time as another boy had spat on the slide before her turn. I asked if there was anybody else waiting to go on the slide (so I could determine whether it was just a child being naughty or something more personal) and she told me that it was only her waiting.

She's a very gentle child and takes a while to come out of her shell when in new situations (although once she does open up she's actually very confident and friendly). As an only child she doesn't know how to deal with confrontations.

I know children can be mean at times and it's just one of those things that you have to deal with, but I'm concerned that these may not just be isolated cases. Am I just being an over protective mum or should I be concerned?

[BoundandRebound]

Have you made an appointment with teacher

She needs support to make friends, they all do st that age

[BonaDea]

Oh the poor little thing.

I don't have direct experience as my DS is still tiny but I would book that appt and see what the teacher reckons.

I'm an only child and had lots of cousins around my age. Their fights and arguments and niggling at each other completely baffled me when I was little. I had no idea how to respond. However she will work this stuff out.

[LatinForTelly]

Your poor wee girl. Yes I too would definitely book the appointment with the teacher. Even if the slide incident wasn't targeted at her specifically, your daughter is still not happy and settled at break-times, and it is worth someone keeping an extra eye on things.

Does your DD's school have a buddy system? At our primary, for the first year, the p1 children are assigned a p7 (11 year old) buddy to look after them / play with them in the playground if they want. The p7s are really good at it and surprisingly nurturing!