I hate myself for this but I'm afraid that after 3 years of my boy taking crap from his peers, I have just behaved in a very un-like me manner and had a go at a kid whom I caught in the act.
For some reason, DS (year 8) is one of those kids who just gets identified as the boy whom others can tease, bully and ridicule. I just picked DS up (he walks part of the way home) to find another boy rounding on him and basically ridiculing him. I spotted him doing it two days ago too and DS wouldn't let me say anything. Today I let my emotions get the better of me and marched straight over to this boy and demanded to know what the hell he was doing. I didn't raise my voice but my tone was cold and aggressive. He claimed they were having a conversation, DS - flushed and anxious - agreed and then tells me in the car that he was being made to feel uncomfortable but wouldn't give me the exact details. I left it saying to the boy "just make sure you keep away from him".
I am angry at myself and quite ashamed. I just don't know what to do to protect him. He is in Year 8 and it doesn't seem to be getting any better.
Feel free to tell me I was out of order. I quite possibly agree wholeheartedly. I don't know what to expect really from the post. I just don't know how to help him anymore.
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Bullying
Dreadfully upset and just lost the plot at a boy having a go at my son
ujjayi · 23/11/2012 16:09
Agree with the others. You're much better than me, I'd have probably been aggressive 
Well done.
Thank you so much for your words of support. I apologise in advance - now I'm on a roll I just want to let it all out. The adrenalin surge I got when I saw what was happening was phenomenal and I just had to say something.
The history with the bullying is somewhat complicated: one episode lasted the entirety of year 6 in his primary school. DS didn't tell me because he was ashamed of the names they called him (freak, weirdo, pervert, stalker) and they totally excluded him (village school with only 10 students in his year) and tried to cope alone. It wasn't until the summer holidays that he told me what had happened - I had asked him if he wanted a friend over to play and that was the catalyst for the moment of truth. He asked me not to act on it because he was looking forward to his new start and hoped it would all be forgotten.
Unfortunately, one of the little shits decided to spread the word when they got to high school and children that DS didn't even know would come and ask him about specific incidents - with the aim of humiliating him in front of his newly made friends. Fortunately the school were very supportive and acted straight away to ensure these incidents were dealt with. However, there seem to have been a series of seemingly random, unrelated incidents since then a few examples: - He was beaten up by a child for not picking something up (which the child had dropped at DS's feet); he has been humiliated almost daily by another who seemingly sees it as a badge of honour to be told off/excluded. And then two days ago this little toad caught in the act by me and again today. Now DS tells me that he also had his workbook and pencil case thrown from child to child in a lesson today and the teacher only noticed when DS lost his temper and shouted at them all.
DS doesn't want to move school. Despite everything, he wants to stay where he is and get on with it. He is somewhat socially awkward in most situations but is confident academically - participating and often leading class discussion, according to his teachers. They have told me that DS is very protective of a child in his year who has suffered severe emotional trauma which has resulted in severe behavioural difficulties. The school is very good at dealing with all these things but DS hates going to talk to them because he feels "abnormal" (his words). DH and I have tried to give him coping strategies - ignore if at all possible, if not then look them in the eye and be confident but not confrontational.
Reflecting back on my own school days, there always seemed to be one kid who bore the brunt of other kids' frustrations. Sadly, I think DS is that kid. He isn't "cool" or sporty. He hangs out with the drama club and has found his niche there but obviously that is a relatively small part of school life.
I am sorry - I don't expect you to read all of this. It just feels good to get it out there. My greatest fear is that DS will totally lose it one day and go ballistic. He said he really shrieked at these children today and at home he loses his temper over really small things - I am guessing because he feels safe to vent his frustration.
Anyway, thanks once again. I feel better about it now. DS even said he was secretly a bit proud 
.
Well done you! I would have done A LOT worse!! Threads like these infuriate me, schools are sometimes useless and I would not think twice about taking matters in to my own hands if all other avenues were unsuccessful!! Spineless prick could do with a bashing and I hope he gets it 
Bless your poor boy for having to put up with this shit 
I think you were quite restrained. I would be talking to the school again about your concerns about this kid on the walk home and the nasty little shit who instigated further bullying who was at the old school.
Totally nothing to beat yourself up about.
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