help is this bullying ...Have I done the wrong thing telling DD not to tell

[purpledolphin]

Help really don't know what to do My DD ( in year 3) has been complaining on and off for since the begining of the year that 2 other people are annoying her and teasing her... I have tried to encourage her to ignor them or to gently tease them back but now I am wondering if I have done the wrong thing, as my DD came back from brownies really upset (she normally loves brownies) but one of the children that annoys her at school had called her fat, just to add to it the mother of said child deliberately turned away from me at the begining of the brownie meeting is this bullying ... I can deal with it for my self but my daughter? Also just to add to the mix my DD has recently been diagnosed with dyslexia (school really helpful) but DD really reluctant to do some of the things suggested but pleased with all the whole class stuff. Sorry am going on but have heard that people become victims by not being confident and my DD is really anxious which started when she started school, had assumed that this was due to her dyslexia but now wondering if it is on going bullying..Just to add another layer of complexity my DD's best friend left in the middle of year 2 and although she plays with other children she has not really found a new best friend, last year she was playing with some of the year 1s ( they have mixed year groups in her school as their is only 15 children per year) She is now in a class with year 4s some of the year 3s have been with them before but DD was one of the ones who stayed with the reception teacher. This probably doesn't make a lot of sense but I felt I need to get it off my chest and this seems safer than talking any advice gratefully recieved many thanks.

[colditz]

Go in and talk to the teacher

[Bluestocking]

YY to talking to the teacher. They take this sort of thing really seriously now and her teacher will, I'm sure, do what s/he can to make sure your DD is comfortable in class and can get on with her learning. Good luck!

[Arion]

Talk to the teacher, tell her to talk to the teacher when it happens, as someone who was bullied at school, please believe me when I say ignoring them does not work.

[claraschu]

This does sound like it might be bullying; I'm so sorry. Definitely talk to the teacher, and don't be satisfied unless your daughter starts to be happier, because sometimes it takes a lot of trouble to make a difference. This is true for both the social problems and the dyslexia.

It is very common for dyslexic children to lose confidence and to hate doing whatever special activities the school organises for them. You can work to show her that dyslexic doesn't mean stupid (Einstein, Picasso, Churchill and John Lennon were all dyslexic for instance.) www.dyslexia-test.com/famous.html

Lots of children don't have a best friend, but you can help her friendships along by inviting other kids over to play. Maybe the teacher can suggest a few friends who seem compatible, if your daughter doesn't know who she wants to ask. I have found that inviting the same girls over between school and guides is a great way to cement friendships.

I don't mean to be intrusive, but if your daughter is actually overweight (I realise the teasing is probably not based on anything real), I think that does make life harder in school. If you think she might have a weight problem you could start another thread, or look at an existing one.

The fact that the school is helpful with dyslexia is a great sign, i think; they will probably be really helpful in other ways too, and since it is a small school, they will already know your daughter well.

I hope she feels better really soon.

[purpledolphin]

Thank you all, if DD seems unhappy again will talk to class teacher, for now I think problem is resolved as the child who was calling DD fat has been moved to a different table (for entirely different reasons), but at least I know what to do. Claraschu you were not being intrusive of course if DD was over weight would work on this but.... I generally have the opposite problem when it comes to food DD loves vegetables but only tolerates eating starchy foods like potatoes, pasta etc. and is naturally a very active child so no chance of her getting fat, I think thats partly why I felt so upset and did not know what to do. But thanks to all these helpful posts I do now, may also have a quiet word with brown owl too. Many thanks again