Not enough girls in class - should we move?

[carltongirl]

This isn't actual bullying but a similar problem: my 10 year-old daughter is in a class with only 6 girls and 24 boys. Girls have split into two threes and her two are quite dominant and bossy, and make life difficult for her being friendly to other three (she gets on with all). They can be excluding and bossy with her though not directly unkind. There is no'one likeminded re. her interests/lifestyle, and the situation is unlikely to improve. Should I move her now for year 6 to local school with more girls, or stick it out? She doesn't want to move and says situation manageable, but has started headaches/feeling sick in morning before school, previously having loved it. We moved here 18/12 ago so she doesn't want to be 'the new one' again. Have tried other clubs/activities but whilst fun, these rarely create actual friendships. Move or stay? Anyone been there? Thanks.

[mamalocco]

Not exactly - although dd1 was one of a group of three and it rarely works out well ime. In fact her school actively discourage it (change kids about at the end of school year - two form entry tho). She also was the quiet one with two dominant friends and girls can be very manipulative not to mention bitchy. The situation did, eventually, resolve itself, the friendships naturally dissolved, but whether that would have happened if there had been less girls in dd1's class I don't know.

We moved house at the end of dd1's year 5 and I took the decision to leave her at her old school - purely for the fact I think year 6 is the worse time to move schools. Your dd will be going into year 6 (presumably) in September and then the whole secondary school saga starts so that is something you could both focus on.

Having said all that my bf moved her ds from a school where he was one of three boys in the class to a much more balance classed in a new school and is so happy she did, although he is only in year 3.

[nagynolonger]

I had it the other way round with my DS. 7 boys to 21 girls. It did cause some problems but boys don't form 'close' friendships like girls.

With a 10 yearold I would say stick it out. Sort of the devil you know! Some groups of girls can be very bossy/bitchy towards a new comer, and what you move her into my be worse.

[carltongirl]

Thanks so much for your replies. First time I've done this. Husband thinks storm in a teacup so great to be able to share with someone.

[tamegazelle]

Just saw this and it all rings true. DD is in Y5 and is one of 10 girls in the class. Earlier in the year we had all sorts of problems around other girls excluding her (her best friend had left) and general bullying. I also felt (and still do) that she doesn't have very much in common with those that remain. Interestingly the boys in the class are far more aspirational and my dd doesn't have an equivalent type of girl in the class to spur her on. I;ve had ther opportunity to observe them on school trips and can identify only two who are nice to my daughter and don't have 'complications' of some sort.

I felt at the beginning of Y5 that there was sufficient time to move and discussd it with my dd. She did not want to leave. We talked about the positve aspects of her school and she decided that these outweighed the difficulties that she was experiencing. I have gone along with this but have continued to emphasise that she needs to focus on secondary school.