bullying - pushed down the stairs

[njjj1]

hi, I just wanted some advice - have not posted before. My son started at secondary school in sept and has had a boy being not nice since about the second week. It started with name calling and then has become more physical - shoving into walls etc. i have been into school but after 6 weeks or so my son called the boy a name back(he had been ignoring it and i told him to try and show he was not scared) anyway the school called me to say he was instigating the bullying. i have had meetings been the school wont say its bullying - keep making out its tit for tat - the boys mum does work at the schhol as well as their PSA. over the last week the boys friends have also become involved (approx 8 of them) and today they tried to push my son down the stairs they walked up to him and pushed his head down and shoved him to the top of the stairs.Schhol said they have not had chance to look into this yet- any ideas - i'm worried about how far they will go. i thought this was a serious incident but school didnt think it was!

[freddiefox]

Hi, Not had much experience of this sort of thing, but I think the situation is always much harder if the parent works at the school. If it was me, I would insist on a meeting with the class tutor and head of year, firstly to follow up the lastest incident and to discuss a plan of action. I would also be very firm in pointing out that this is not an isolated incident, I would want a copy of their anti bullying policy and ask them how they intend to meet it. Document the whole meeting

How is your son feeling about the whole thing?

[njjj1]

I had a meeting with the head of lower years - 7,8,& 9 and the head of yr 7 after the incident. they were saying the boys involved will be talked to. but these boys have said my son is annoying them - they have reportly said he has been annoying and has poked on of them, which my son says is untrue anyway the school are making out that they can understand the group of boys behaviour if the have been wound up - as they put it. At our first meeting i had looked at their anti bullying policy and asked the head of 7 year questions about what had been done she had to say that nothing had been done after initially talking to the boys concerned and had to apoligise and say she was not aware(Did not know the policy) I spoke with the head and mentioned the fact i was quite alarmed that the head of year did not know the policy let alone implement it and he said it was not about the policys but what they did. i did explain nothing had been done. Apparently my son has to develop stratagies of ignoring it and walking away etc and it will stop on its own eventually but they dont know when. As for my son he is terrified, he does not want to go to school as he says all 8 boys will see him and chase him. i thought they were just trying to scare him but after yesterday i am not so sure.

[njjj1]

sorry should have added - what can i do? and should school be taking in more seriously?i have put in a formal complaint to Governors but have not had a reply yet.

[WetAugust]

I have had experience of dealing with a school regarding bullying.

Firstly their anti-bullying policy will not be worth the paper it's written on.

Secondly you will never get the school to acknowledge bullying goes on.

Write to the school about every incident. Name the bullies. School must take action when you name a child. Remind them in the letter that they have a duty of care towards your child to ensure he does not experience (what they call) "negative behaviour".

Ensure that everytime you write to school you send a copy of the letter to someone else - i.e. Chair of Governors or LA if it's a serious assault. That way school cannot deny receiving the letter.

Insist that every incident is investigated and recorded in your son's school file. For serious incidents make sure they raise a Serious Incident Report - a copy of which should be sent to the LA.

In this way you have a documented history of the bullying and the steps you have taken to get school to address it.

Keep a diary of all teh incidents yourself - what happened, what action you took, who you contacted, what their response was.

You can then take the matter to the Local Authority if your child is continually bullied and school has failed to respond. You can also present this evidence to a solictor with a view to bringing a case against the school at a later date.

Every child deserves to be able to attend a safe, supportive school. Your son is being denied that right and it will impact adversely on his education.

Best wishes