Difficult position

[rainbowandyroo]

I have had a constant problem with my daughter and two other girls since year 2 and always put it down to three being a bad no. but a new girl has recently started in their class and it seems that the bullying has escalated. My daughter came home last week vv unhappy as they had made her day miserable to the point of not wanting to go to her school disco. The next morning one of the childrens parents approached me asking me to tell my daughter to stay away from hers.
I work as a midday supervisor at the school and know this is not the case believe me mine is not a little angle but neither is she a bully. I spoke to my head about being approached and she had all four in the office and spoke to them all and said she would not put up with bullying. It was lovely for my daughter for about two days but has gradually got worse again culminating in her today shouting at the main bully in class and being punished for this. I don't disagree with the punishment and if anything feel i have failed my daughter in not taking this problem seriously. We have a meeting with the head tomorrow and i feel very awkard and also very vunerable as i feel if this child has the sense to make up stories to her mum when she has made my daughters day hell will the lies be aimed in my direction next. Any advice will greatly appreciated

[scurryfunge]

Is there a chance they are all being equally horrid to eachother?

It is probably best to talk to your daughter about respect, acceptable things to say and not say to her friends and general "what it means to be a friend" talk.It sounds like the other girls would benefit from that talk too.

Your child needs to be confident enough to tell the teacher and you when any bulying occurs. If she is retaliating with equal nastiness then she will not be suported in the same way.

[scurryfunge]

*bullying

[rainbowandyroo]

We have constantly spoke to our daughter about what a friend is and that if she returns to these people it can't be that bad but as i said before since returning to school in sept it has changed and escalated making my daughter v unhappy. Her outburst today was equally punished at home as it was at school as i agree she hasn't a leg to stand on if she behaves in that manner.

[scurryfunge]

I think you need to ask the school what their policy is on bullying and what they are doing to combat poor behaviour.

[tomhardyismydh]

do they not do circle time or a round robin the class to challenge and resolve these issues as a group? this is a good idea if it is general conflict or difficult for a teacher to asses who is the main ciulperit or if the children are equally as guilty.

doing this after lunch break for a quick 15mins helps in managing conflict on a daily basis, getting the accounts from witnesses. ie, did anyone else see this happen? and what did you think about it? if you where in this situation how would you have felt? what could you have done? the other children tend to then open up and a teacher can very quickly gain lots of different perspectives as well as the children learning to work harmoniously and see how thier behaviour can affect each other.

may also make them think twice about nasty behaviour if they know its wrong they dont want thier behaviour being the topic of a group discuss.

works also with positive experiences to share not just conflict, tends to raise alot of esteem in individuals and gruops of children.