Advice please!!

[miaandmum]

Please can someone advise me. My 7 year old has a best friend who's 6. She came for tea today for the first time. They were playing upstairs and when I went up to check on them my daughter had taken all her clothes off.

Later tonight I asked my daugher why she'd taken them off and she said that her friend had told her to. I told her that she should have said no. She replied that she did say no so her friend tried pull her trousers off hurting her in the process.

My daugher said she took her trousers off because her friend had said "please".

My daugher said that is was alright to be hurt by this girl and be told what to do because its her "best friend". It's also my daughters only friend! She said that it was not bullying because "best friends dont bully each other"


They are not in the same class at school.

Do I leave it or say something?

[bnm]

definately explain how friends behave.

[miaandmum]

Thanks - Its so difficult as my daughter has autism (very much bottom end of the scale) and she takes everything literally. She has a best friend and she thinks best friends are allowed to do what they want. I have talked to her and tried to explain friendship and she says she undestands but I'm not sure she does.

I just don't know if I should say something to the parents, not invite the girl again, try to encourage her to find another friend etc, ect.

[bnm]

No experience only gut feeling and now you mention your dd has autism maybe others can offer their own experience. However I guess that like a lot of children (and adults) we all need reminding now and again. I don't know that I would invite the girl again but I would definately try to encourage her to have friends in her own class or at least in her own year also because when children move to the next school it will make it easier. I don't know about saying anything to the parents at this stage depends on what things are like with them already. Wish you luck.

[bnm]

Actually now this has happened, maybe good to invite the girl again and keep an eye/ear open as the girl sounds like she could do with some steering in the right direction of how to be friends with others.

[miaandmum]

Thanks for the advice. Have decided not to say anything but monitor it for the time being. I've been to school on a couple of occasions to see if they can encourage children to play with my daughter (my daughter joins in but gets told to go away or is ignored, which is heartbreaking) Things have improved very slightly but and hopefully my daughter wil, in time, make another friend.