DD is 3.4, and started at pre-school in Septemeber. She loves it so it seems, but 2 days ago she came home with big bite mark (full set of teeth by the looks of it) on her hand. She said a girl had bitten her, and it had hurt, and no she hadn't told a grown up. I told her she should tell a grown up if someone bites her or hurts her again. The next day I spoke to the TA when I picked her up, she was a bit shocked and very apologetic. I asked her to keep an eye out.
Today after I pcked her up we were talking about what she had done today and about her friends and I asked her who she had played with this morning. She said nobody. I asked why she hadn't played with her friends and she said they hit her. Further, gentle, questioning resulted in her saying most of her friends did not hit her, but one girl - and I couldn't understand the name, but she was adamant it was this girl, kept shaying, almost shouting the name- did. A little later, without any prompting she said another girl hit her too. I have told her it's OK not to like everyone, but she should try to be nice to them, and she should play with the friends she does like and who don't hit her. I am going to go in early tomorrow and talk to the teacher further, to try to work out what is happening (I can tell her the name DD has been saying and see if it makes sense to her) and also ask more about how DD generally behaves and interacts with the other children.
Can this be the start of bullying? DD is quite small for her age, and has some speach problems (is being monitored by speech therapist, but not considered bad enough for action yet), and does seem rather "babyish" compared to many of her peers. Although I think she is quite bright, she just isn't quite as "clued up" as some of her age. I hate the thought that she might be becoming a target because of one or more of these things.
Thoughts or advice?
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Bullying
Not sure if this bullying, but don't know where else to turn
Jammyrella · 14/10/2010 18:49
The thing which concerns me the most about this is that the staff were unaware, and at this age the behaviour, although undesirable, is quite normal. Which is exactly why the staff should be more aware.
At pre-school many children are learning basic social skills, and its an important time. There is no excuse, and it is dreadfully upsetting for you, but you are doing absolutely the right thing getting the nursery involved and ensuring they are on top of it.
As the parent of a child with form as a biter (although he was younger) his nursery worked with me to reinforce the good behaviour and overcome the biting. They need to speak to the parents of the biter. IME biting can be out of frustration (wanting a toy for example) as opposed to 'bullying'. Also, children copy which may explain why another hit her.
I think it is possible that your DD may, infact, be a bit more clued up socially as she has been to nursery. Don't worry about being 'babyish' they are babies.
Have one particular nursery teacher talk to her about it, so she has someone she can approach, and who you can talk to about it. The nursery have a very big part to play in sorting this out, regardless of any concerns you have of DDs development or speech problems.
HTH 
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