Is this bullying? Please read

[charis76]

Does anyone have any good advice for me please? My son who is age 11 has had his confidence undermined by the same boys since he started school it takes the form of constant criticism, taking things from him, hurting him and telling the other boys not to play with him. I feel like I have failed my son in getting it stopped and the school have told me that its ok as he is happy to have no friendswhwnever he makes friends the ringleader will always recruit the new friend into his 'gang' even if the new friend is later dropped!oh and I know the mums really well and they are of the opinion that its just high spirits and boys will be boys. I have complained to the school before and it has stops for a while but always reoccurs. It turns out that they will all be going to the same secondary school. Is this going to carry on or will he find his own way at secondary schooll?

[slipperthief]

It sounds like bullying to me, especially if it recurs after a teacher's said something.

Hopefully he'll find his own crowd in secondary but maybe have another word with the school? Can he hook up with some of those he gets on with over the various holidays, maybe they'll stick better then.

Can't believe he'd just be happy with no friends at all, are the school a bit unwilling to step in?

[earthamogg]

That definitely sounds like bullying to me, and you have my sympathy. Don't feel you have failed; sounds like you are still fighting his corner. It is still often hard to get help and co-operation with this. I recognise the tactic of separating him from new friends. That happened to me when I was about the same age, and it is very undermining to the confidenceyou deal with the bullying by going elsewhere for friends and the bullies pursue you and "take them away". The school sound pretty useless; yeah, right, happy to have no friends. And I'm sorry about the fact that the other mums are glossing over itit is very difficult; but obviously they don't want to think their children are being nasty.
However, what to do about it is another thing. I think this kind of problem can travel to secondary school, with or without the same group, so I wouldn't just cross your fingers. I am currently worried about my own ds who feels picked on; I am coming to the conclusion that the way to go is to work on your child's confidence, while keeping up the pressure on the school. But positive strategies for confidence building are a whole separate issue. What to do? For starters, have you been to the Kidscape website? They seem pretty can-do. Good luck.