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Infant feeding

Get advice and support with infant feeding from other users here.

Original poster

what is breastfeeding supposed to feel like?

91 replies

Spink · 07/02/2009 19:27

this might sound like a bit of a numpty question, but I'm wondering if it is really true that "if you're doing it right, it doesn't hurt".

In my own experience, it often HAS hurt, and I really don't know if that is because I have always done it 'wrong' or if I just have sensitive boobs / children with a particularly piranha-like approach
I breastfed ds til he was 14 months and am breastfeeding dd, who is 4 weeks, so I should know I guess - but if I'm honest, with ds it was horribly painful for the first few months and then was sometimes uncomfortable but always noticeable - a definite sucking/pulling sensation. Let down often stings. With dd, it was very sore for the first two weeks and now just uncomfortable at times. Apparently my (and my dc's) positioning and latch have always been fine.

For those of you who have found breastfeeding fairly straightforward, what does it feel like?? Is there any sensation at all? and where on the spectrum of comfort-discomfort is it?
Just want to make sure my expectations of what 'correct' breastfeeding should feel like are right...

OP posts:
ScorpiowithabigS · 07/02/2009 19:30

Sorry to hear it is painful and sore for you

Well i have BF dd for nearly 10 months now; i don't really feel it at all, apart from when she pulls and sometimes bites. It is hard to explain, it is soft feeling, it is totally comfortable for me as i often sleep through feeding her when she wakes

Let down used to really hurt me, but i dont feel it anymore. it used to be a breat hholding feeling at one point.

IAteMakkaPakka · 07/02/2009 19:32

It hurt at first. For the first 8 seconds of each feed it was really, really sore - gritted teeth, stamping feet, foul swearing etc. By the time he'd been latched for a few moments it was just mild discomfort, and between feeds I had sore nips but it seemed to be eased by loads of Lansinoh.

Now we've been at it 18 months it still hurts sometimes if he's teething and just sucks the nipple instead of the breast IYSWIM but on the whole just a slight tugging, not painful at all.

Oddly, my nipples are a million times more sensitive than they were pre-BF and are now pretty much out of bounds to DP if he feels like a fiddle

IAteMakkaPakka · 07/02/2009 19:34

I forgot to mention that to me letdown is a mysterious thing - I've never felt even the slightest sensation of it. I think there's huge variation in people's sensation of and ability to tolerate pain, so it probably isn't anything wrong with your expectations, just that you are sensitive to the discomfort. I hope it eases soon

LadyOfWaffle · 07/02/2009 19:35

FIrst few weeks - painful. My nipples felt inflexible, I was getting engorged alot etc. and let down were toe curling but now, most of the time, it's just exactly the feeling if you go 'suck suck suck' on your arm gently. Sometimes my nipples get painful, same latch.

nickytwotimes · 07/02/2009 19:37

I gave up because it was so painful. I didn't know of mn at the time. Nor did I know that most of the other women at my post-natal group found it sore for the first few weeks! Several od them said that after a few weeks it suddenly changed and became okay. Sadly, our group didn't get going until the babies were 7 weeks old which was too late for some of us.

Rhubarb · 07/02/2009 19:45

Yes it can hurt, even if you are doing it right. It's one of those horrible myths I wish to goodness I could explode! I think the pro-breastfeeding lobby don't want you to know that so they undermine your confidence by saying that if it hurts you are obviously not doing it right.

I was in agony with my first. I had midwives checking my latching techniques, then breastfeeding counsellors, the NCT, more people examined my tits than I ever thought possible! It was such agony when she latched and continued to be so for a good 10mins, leaving my boobs feeling quite sore. I also had this strong let-down that hurt too, I had no control over it and very often it would almost drown dd so she would pull off and I would squirt in every direction, making public feeding impossible!

After a while I just had to accept this was how it was going to be. I'd been examined every which way and my latching was ok, she was ok, no tongue-tie, nothing untoward. They even suggested that my nipples were too pale and so brought a sun-lamp for me! After a while you could tell they thought I was just a bit soft.

After about 3 months it was a lot easier but unfortunately the whole experience had put me off and I gave up after 4 months.

With my second I thought it might be easier. It wasn't but at least I was prepared and this time I knew it was nothing to do with me. He latched fine, fed hungrily. This time I perservered and fed him for 8 months and it did get so much easier that I no longer had to curl my toes up every time he latched on, and after about 3 months I could feed comfortably in public, everything just seemed to calm down. And perhaps to quieten my critics who thought I might just be soft, I gave birth to him at home with no pain relief!

So it CAN just hurt, I think perhaps it has something to do with the let-down as it only lasts about 10mins. I wish they'd do more research on it, a lot less women might not feel so bad about it if some medic came right out and said that it CAN hurt and there IS a reason for it that has NOTHING to do with the woman's techniques or her being soft.

TheBurnsifiedEffect · 07/02/2009 19:49

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TheBurnsifiedEffect · 07/02/2009 19:50

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Original poster
Spink · 07/02/2009 20:02

rhubarb - your experience really sounds like mine. I wish wish wish that there was more honesty about what bfing can feel like, especially early on.
like you, with my 1st baby I saw tens of professionals who prodded and examined me and my little one. When they threw their hands up and told me "it shouldn't be hurting, you're doing everything properly" I could've cried because it meant there was nothing I could do, and I felt a freak. Now that I have pain on feeding with dd I don't really feel I can trust the professionals to tell me if I can do something differently, or if it is 'normal' for me, and I should just hang in there.
Looking back, with ds it got better (not toe curling) after 4 months and I wonder if it was to do with him (and so his mouth) being bigger and fitting better with my nipple.

OP posts:
JimJammum · 07/02/2009 20:46

I used to have to clench my fists at the horrible pins and needles sensation when he first latched on, and as said above, lots of gritted teeth and swearing. I wish too that everyone hadn't said that it should be pain-free if he was latched on properly. Also nipples bled like mad for first couple of weeks, and posset was always red. Just stuck with it and it got much better. Also, ds only fed for 8 minutes every 3 hours for 6 months. I never felt like he was getting enough as everyone seemed to suggest he should be feeding for 30 mins at least. His weight gain should have been enough to reassure me!!!

SweetEm · 07/02/2009 20:48

I think the "if you're doing it right it won't hurt" brigade are wrong and unhelpful too. My bf ds was putting on an ounce or more per day, so I was clearly doing something right, but I was experiencing pain on feeding, so some would say I was doing it wrong!

tumtumtetum · 07/02/2009 21:07

Even if you are doing it exactly right it may well still hurt like a bastard - I'm in the nightmare let-down pain camp, which lasts about a month IIRC.

Every time she latched I was swearing under my breath for the first few secs. And I'm sure the latch etc was good as my nips were fine and no other pain at any other time.

They really ought to tell people the truth about this stuff.

toddlerama · 07/02/2009 21:14

I can't believe what I'm reading! I stopped breastfeeding both of mine at 4 weeks because I was told by EVERYONE that if I did it right, it wouldn't hurt. I couldn't get past the fact that it was agony and so I was convinced I was doing it wrong. Now I hear I might have been doing it fine and needed to grit my teeth harder?? I'm gutted.

TBH tho, I can't imagine still breastfeeding them - the pain was worse than the C-Section!

TheBurnsifiedEffect · 07/02/2009 21:15

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kiltycoldbum · 07/02/2009 21:26

can i ask something really dim, what is let down?

tumtumtetum · 07/02/2009 21:35

here kilty

For me it was an excrutiating sharp pain sort of behind the nipple which came for a few seconds when DD started feeding.

Rhubarb · 07/02/2009 21:43

We really should start a campaign to tell women about this, more might just strive to continue. It's not all plain sailing as we are made to believe, it can be bloody hard work and the last thing you need as a first time mother is to be told that you are doing it wrong. Nothing is more likely to make you give up than the thought that you simply can't do it.

So sorry toddlerama, but they let you down. It IS bloody difficult at times and good on you for trying, you gave it your best shot and your babies have benefitted for you trying so don't feel bad.

TheBurnsifiedEffect · 07/02/2009 21:45

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tumtumtetum · 07/02/2009 21:55

It's difficult isn't it.

I was basically told that neither birth nor BF should hurt if I was doing it right

I asked at my ante-natal groups about what to do if your nips cracked etc (I was the last of my group of friends to start a family and all of them had BF and had a nightmare).

I was told that they were doing it wrong and problems were extremely rare.

I said how come all of my friends had problems.

I was given a death-stare and my question ignored.

What they don't understand is that if people are led to believe it won't hurt and then it does, that could well lead them to give up, like poor toddlerama. If they told the truth maybe more women would persevere.

kiltycoldbum · 07/02/2009 21:57

thanks tumtum and omg

im pg with no3, bottlefed first 2 as the thought of bfeeding made me feel uncomfortable, basically i was really worried that as my boobs had become rather sexualised with my dp it made me feel peculiar that a baby would be sucking on them and if im honest i worried a great deal about how it would feel but this has been the most enlightening thread ive ever come across on MN.

i was toying with bfeeding this one as this will be my last and thought that maybe i should give it a go as i would hate to have felt maybe that i missed out on something but again the how will it feel has been putting me off but very clearly im being mental and worrying about absolutely nothing, but obviously now i need to worry about it hurting and it all sounds like i need to do lots of homework and learn about it!! tyvm

TheBurnsifiedEffect · 07/02/2009 22:01

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tumtumtetum · 07/02/2009 22:02

Just give it a go Kilty, what's the worst that can happen - you don't get on with it - and go to bottle feeding - and nothing lost!

It's a good idea to research first, useful thing for me was actually seeing video of woman BF and seeing where the baby's mouth was on the boob before feeding started (sort of angle IYSWIM), how wide baby's mouth was open and how much breast went into the baby's mouth...

There are stacks of threads on here as well and of course when it happens if you need support we are all here!

IAteMakkaPakka · 07/02/2009 22:03

The thing is that most people who have breastfed will admit that it is uncomfortable or painful - my mum warned me it would be excruciating! - but yet will still encourage you to try it. So there's proof for anyone who's unsure that it's worth a shot at least

spicemonster · 07/02/2009 22:05

It really bloody hurt for the first few weeks for me. I bought a dummy for me to bite on for the first few moments. It got better and it didn't hurt at all after the first few months but that 'if it hurts you're not doing it right' is a load of old bollocks. I am forever grateful to a friend of mine who gave me a tube of lansinoh as a birth present and told me bfing would hurt like hell at first but to persevere.

FairLadyRandySlut · 07/02/2009 22:09

Spink, I can totally identify with your op....and I am saying that as someone finding bf straightforward...

I think if people say painless they generally are talking about established bf and real uncomfirtable pain and soreness, rather than that short instance of experiencing let down in a sore way initially at the beginning of each feed and stuff....not sure I am making sense...