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Infant feeding

help! HV says "start weaning" and I'm not quite ready

17 replies

phdlife · 07/08/2007 15:52

DS will be 17 weeks on Friday. About a fortnight ago he started behaving erratically at the breast and now refuses to feed during the day. He feeds every 2hrs at night, but not for any longer than he used to.

Several bfc's I've spoken to think this may be because he's teething - if you've seen my other threads it took me a while to work it out - the pain may be causing him to stop sucking, they thought.

But we've just had him weighed and in that fortnight he's only gained 1oz. Normally he's been gaining in the region of 10oz/fortnight so he's a good weight, and I know his weight gain should settle somewhat around now, but it appears to be coming almost to a grinding halt.

I don't know what to do, as I am producing plenty of milk still. But he just doesn't want to suck. I've tried different bfing positions, calpol and teething gel. Nothing seems to make any difference.

Anyone got any other suggestions? I really wanted to do exclusive for at least 5 months.

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WigWamBam · 07/08/2007 15:59

Will he take EBM either from a bottle or from a cup? If you give it to him in a small open cup he will be able to lap at it, like a cat, which will probably not be painful for him in the way that sucking can be when they are teething.

Weaning is not the answer, the amount of food that babies take when they first start weaning isn't enough to make any difference to his weight.

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Flibbertyjibbet · 07/08/2007 16:00

Sack your HV. Then wait for all the nice mumsnetters to come along and post good advice. I didnt' have any experience of this with my two so can't offer any help sorry, but your HV

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moondog · 07/08/2007 16:01

She is an idiot and contravening Dept. of Health guidelines to boot..
More calories in milk than anything he could take at this stage in terms of food.
Just feed more

Think of it logically.How could there be more calories in a fruit or veg puree than there is in creamy tailor made milk.

Silly cow (her not you.)

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witchandchips · 07/08/2007 16:05

could be teething, could just be that at this age is more interested in other things than food during the day. During the night he is hungry so needs to feed to catch up. Could you try and mimic the feel of a night time feed during the day? Try feeding just before is due a nap for example. IMO he does not sound ready for weaning.

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frogs · 07/08/2007 16:06

They get erratic at about 4 months, start looking around, fidgeting and breaking off to do other stuff. I think it's because they are taking more notice of the world around them, so get distracted. It's normal, it passes. They also get much more efficient at extracting milk at this stage, so may have what appears to be a microfeed but actually get quite a lot of milk. PLUS your milk supply settles down so the milk doesn't appear to be pouring out of you the way it does with a tiny baby. AND weight gain slows down around that age anyway, otherwise you'd end up with a 5-stone 1-year old.

Your HV is talking cr*p. Assuming he hasn't actually lost weight or is unhappy in himself, just keep going. Maybe see or talk to a good bf counsellor for reassurance.

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3madboys · 07/08/2007 16:07

my ds3 was like this when he was teething not fun, i tried all sorts, one thing that helped was to lay him in a ring sling, walk around till he was sleepy etc and then latch him on when almost asleep, i had to keep walking, rocking ang jigging him etc, this seemed to help sooth him a bit.

17 wks is too early to wean him, ignore your HV.

i worried a lot about wieght gain etc, what helped with ds3 is that he would feed in his sleep, so i had him in bed with me and he would nurse during the night, the milk you produce at night also has a higher fat content which will help with weight gain.

i think the key thing is to keep offering him the breast, he will continue to nurse, try not to get too stressed, i know how heartbreaking it can feel when they wont nurse.

ds3 is now two and a half and bfeeding monster still

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callmeovercautious · 07/08/2007 16:18

This is very common - both in terms of what your lo is doing and the cr*p HV advice!

It is exhausting but he will settle back into it eventually. One thing to consider is that they suddenly become really efficient feeders and some can take a full bf in 5 - 10 mins where they used to take 30 or 40.

My DD (and lots of others on here) stayed the same wieght between 20 and 26 weeks which the HV got twitcy about so I avoided them! BF babies do tend to tail off as they approach 6m but it does not mean they are not feeding enough. As long as he is bright in himself you should find he picks up again later.

When you say he refuses, does he have any? and are you sitting in a nice quiet place (no tv etc)? You may find if his surroundings are boring that he ups his feeds.

HTH

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mistlethrush · 07/08/2007 16:23

I had to stop feeding whilst out and about, not because of disapproving looks, but because ds was just too interested in what was happening around him. Cue the 'what was that!' quick head turn when latched on, shout of agony, fall off, milk sprays everywhere routine... I had to be in very calm quiet surroundings during the day, but he had got very efficient, and he too stopped gaining weight so quickly.

Mind you, hv very good - basically signed us off and didn't expect to see us back unless there was a problem.

Hope things improve soon

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choolie · 07/08/2007 16:27

My DS has done exactly the same, around 14wks I think, the world started getting too interesting and he wouldn't feed in the day and eventually I realised he'd managed to work his feeding day & night back to front and I'd gone from a 10pm & 5am feed, to 10pm, 2am, 4am, 5am... - so ended up vicious circle, I had to feed him at night as he wasn't taking enough in the day, then he wasn't interested in day as he was too full from the night!

As suggested below, I started tagging his feeds onto his nap, so he now feeds 8.45 into his nap, then again 12 into his nap, but only problem is I end up with him sleeping on me throughout the nap, as he'll take another feed half way through! If I'm lucky he'll also take a short feed 4ish, esp. if sleepy. (not much change to the night wakings unfortunately, but am working on them thanks to the suggestions of the lovely ladies on here!)

When you notice him getting sleepy, take him to your / his room for a cuddle, with the curtains shut, try skin-to-skin too, that might help. I also tried giving him some milk off a spoon and he loved it. HTH.

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mawbroon · 07/08/2007 16:28

My understanding is that it's pretty common for an exclusively breastfed baby's weight to plateau around this age. Even though he only gained 1oz, it was still a gain and not a loss. Often on here, I have seen people ask the question - would you be worried about him if you didn't know what his weight gain was?

I second the idea that you should speak to a breastfeeding counsellor for reassurance. And you don't have to go and see your HV if you don't want to, or do what she says for that matter

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phdlife · 07/08/2007 16:54

that's what I thought (re. the solids, that is). also couldn't imagine he'd want new things in his mouth if it's all sore?

don't think he's being distracted too much as we are mostly at home in same room/seat as usual. But when he has fed it's only if I have laid down beside him on bed or playmat. But still he's only going for 1-2 mins once or twice during the day. I've been trying not to worry but fact is it was worrying me heaps before HV said anything!

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massivebigpantsface · 07/08/2007 17:01

keep going phd! I remember dd a bit like this at that age (now 27weeks). She has had fits and starts - then at about 20 weeks she had a massive growth spurt, hardly any sleep, feeding all the time! She's only seetling down agin thias last fortnight and she's on solids now.

sounds like you are doing fine - I know its hard but the best thing mn has ever taught me is to just go with the flow

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massivebigpantsface · 07/08/2007 17:03

I though the same about the teething too - and the reason they are feeding more at night rather than day is probably because they are very tired and hungry by this time - too much to resist. During the day there are other distractions from feeding.

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phdlife · 07/08/2007 17:06

hi massive

I've been trying so hard to stay chilled about it but it really hasn't felt right for him to go 12hrs, sometimes, with only a 1-minute feed during the day! He was such a brilliant feeder up til now, now his round little tum is flat and wrinkly and I've been trying to ignore that because he doesn't act hungry, just grizzly.

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massivebigpantsface · 07/08/2007 17:14

has he been pooing as normal phd?

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phdlife · 07/08/2007 17:16

yes though it is stinky and thicker/stickier than previously. (sorry if tmi!)

have been hanging onto this as evidence he's okay. just can't get my head around idea of him not being hungry for all that time!

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massivebigpantsface · 07/08/2007 17:17

a change in poo can also indicate teething...

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