support?

[cazee]

DD is nearly 6 months now and exclusively BF, and I am finding myself really looking forward to her stopping . I will do the right thing, so will keep on, but I am feeling like it is really draining me at the moment. Particularly the fact that she has teeth now, and drew blood yesterday , and also the fact that only I can settle her at night, as she wants to suckle. She can wake 10 or so times in an evening and need me. Oh, and I HATE wearing bf bras, and long to get back to my wonderbras!
Any advice really welcomed, particularly regarding the sleep issue. I have friends coming for dinner tonight, and I know I will spend most of it upstairs suckling DD to sleep.
Must add that in all other areas BF has gone smoothly, no thrush, no supply or latch issues, and she only has one middle of the night feed, so really I have very little to complain about.

[PrettyCandles]

Oh dear, this is getting you down, isn't it. You've done really well to get so far, especially if you're not really enjoying it.

What do you do when she bites? Dd did this to me (and, from his feeding 'style', I suspect ds2 is going to do so, too [cringe]). I found the best thing was to pull her in very tight when she bit, rather than to yank her away, as yanking hurted me, whereas pulling her in startled her into opening her mouth. Also, saying "No" quite sharply, and, if she did it again ending the feed there and then. Another thing that helped was learning when she bit me - which was always when I was trying to persuade her to feed if she wasn't all that interested, eg had had enough or her teeth were bothering her. She stopped within a few days.

As for the feedign to sleep issue...welcome to the club . There are so many threads on this! I was in the same boat - except that ds2 woke every 45mins or so through the night. I separated the feed from the putting down, and, over a period of a couple of weeks, he got better at going to sleep. At first it was very difficult, though. Now I feed, then cuddle upright (for the burp), then into sleeping bag, short play with teddy, short book (same teddy and book now for several weeks), go around switch on fan, baby monitor, cd player, off light, short cuddle, sleepy words, then into cot. I kneel by him and stroke his back until he's asleep or nearly so, and then sit by the cot for another few minutes just in case he rouses and needs more stroking. He often twitches as he goes to sleep, and the twitch would rouse him again, but now it doesn't bother him.

I do the same without teddy and story for daytime naps, but he often has to nap in the buggy or car, and I find that if he hasn't napped in his cot then it's harder to put him down at night.

But now it takes 10-20mins from putting him in his cot to leaving the room. He still wakes 3hourly, but we're working on that.

Will your dh/dp go to her at night?

[cazee]

Thanks PrettyCandles,
Yes DH will help, but I really don't know what to ask him to do. She can not go to sleep for hours if she doesn't get to suckle, as he has found out on the rare occasions I have gone out for an evening and left him with a bottle of EBM.
I just don't see her ever sleeping without suckling, and I really don't believe in CC for a 6 month old baby. Your idea of stroking her sounds promising, but she will probably scream through it and I don't think I would want to let her cry that long. I don't really have a bedtime routine, so I guess that is the place to start.
I think the biting might be teething related, so hopefully will pass, but the two issues together have really overwhelmed me today.

[PrettyCandles]

I absolutely agree with you re CC. From my experience with my own children there may sometimes be a place for CC, but it's very much a last resort.

I don't think it's possible to change deeply entrenched habits without some crying, but remember, crying while a parent is with the child, touching them and soothing them, is not the same as being left to cry alone. And while there may be a lot of crying when you start making changes, as the baby gets used to the new way of doing things she will cry less and less.

Have you read the No Cry Sleep Solution by Elizabeth Pantley? Also Secrets of the Baby Whisperer (I'm not sure of the title) by Tracey Hogg? Both excellent books with excellent suggestions.

[maxbear]

Did you know that only 1% of mums fully bf until 6 months? You have done REALLY well to bf for so long, you will probably find that the pressure will be taken off you to some extent when you wean.
I personally would get your dp to go in each time she cries as long as you know that she has had a good bf and is unlikely to be thirsty. If he is supportive and happy to do this just get him to go in every ten minutes or so to reassure her, give her a quick kiss and then leave her to it. There will of course be crying which might be hard to listen to but I am sure that after a few days of doing this she will learn to self settle herself and probably sleep better all night long and therefore be happier in the day. We did this with dd at about four months, I can't remember how long it took but it wasn't long before she settled herself. My ds is 3 months and self settles himself at night which we have achieved by me feeding him to sleep, waking him and putting him in his cot. Then when he starts crying we do the same, and again until he thinks actually I am full now and need sleep not milk. Now if he cries once I have put him in his cot I know that he really does need milk not comfort (he doesn't do it very often now)

[cazee]

thanks maxbear, trouble is I am going to do BLW so she probably won't eat anything for ages!
I did read The Baby Whisperer, and fully intended to put her to sleep awake in her cot, but she cried and cried and I couldn't leave her, so it was either 30 minutes rocking, followed by her waking up as soon as I tried to lower her in to her cot, or suckling.
well, I feel a little better now, so thanks guys.
Prettycandles, I will look up No Cry Sleep Solution, thanks x

[Jenkeywoo]

Hi Cazee, I really feel for you. I've been there with my dd who is now 15 months old. if I'm honest she still suckles to sleep - but it takes less time, down from about an hour and half to about 40 mins. We then have a rule that if she wakes up before midnight dh will settle her - at first it took up to 30 mins of crying in his arms and it was agonsing. We too don't like cc but she was in daddies arms being cuddled. Now he has developed a super shushing bum patting cuddling technique and can usually settle her in about 5 mins! I listen on the monitor and if she just isn't settling after 5 mins I take over and give her a quick feed. It has made a big difference to making breastfeeding more bearable. Good luck xxx