frustrated b/f peer supporter

[maximummummy]

starting to feel really p.off that people who know what i do and that i b/fed my two dc seem to say what they think i want to hear

e.g. friends who are preg say oh yes i am gonna try and b/f this time to my face but then i hear them saying how they really feel to other friends

i'm really not judgemental or a right on b/f hippy type - i think i'm a good listener and very supportive of friends whatever they choose to do so i really don't understand why people aren't just honest with me.

GRRRRRR ok rant over

[colditz]

Because maybe they feel that to say they don't want to do what you are doing, would be a critisism of what you are doing? Maybe they genuinely get swept up with your enthusiasm and then, when you aren't around, don't feel as strongly?

[sniff]

I get this too I don think I am particulaly right on in your face about it but I have learned so much on the course not just about BF that I do talk about it alot!!!

Lets hope they do have a go

[maximummummy]

fuming at the moment as a friends baby who was b/f exclusively for a week (now nearly 3 weeks) is now bottlefed

but they didn't ask for advice . . .
although it was gently offered before baby was born i didn't want to seem pushy

[Jenkeywoo]

I'm a b/f peer supporter too and have been through exactly the same thing with a friend and it was very frustrating. But on the plus side another friend who has recently had a baby regularly asks for advice and info and it is even more fufulling when it someone you know and love.

[iamasurvivor]

i am b/f peersupporter and i know exactly what you are all talking about, that said i think if even one woman that i have spoken to at least tries b/feeding even if just for short time, i feel that i have done my job.
maybe sometimes people dont ask for extra help because they dont want to be a burden, or because they feel they cant ring at certain times, as we know problems arise at the strangest of times.
i spent hours every day supporting a friend of mine who was b/feeding a baby with tongue tie but she eventually got talked into f/feeding by midwife because dd was losing weight. her dd was only 11 days old and hadnt really been given much of a chance to get established.

[English]

Dear Maximummummy,
I am a long term breastfeeder currently feeding my DD2 who is now 17 months old. However, I am very aware of how my bfing sometimes makes other mothers feel who do not breastfeed. Sometimes people just don't want to feed for whatever reason and you have to let them make up there own minds. Mother's aren't children and you're not their school teacher! Sometimes we get so caught up in what we know is best for the baby we can come across as 'know-it-all', 'bossy' and 'superior'. That just puts people off. Having a new baby and being a mum is hard enough without other mothers judging individuals choices.
Best wishes, English

[maximummummy]

english - i know what your saying but i think my problem is that i'm not pushy /confident enough with my offers of help - i also can't believe how many midwives and healthvisitors are STILL not giving women the b/f support they need and still worrying about babies weight using the wrong charts etc also health proffessionals are still giving outdated advice and really should be updating their infomation . . .