post HV review: need some reassurance, opinions MN'ers

[nachomama]

hmm, I do know how I feel really but "can I get a witness?" as they say where I'm from.

Had 9 month check yesterday (though he's just turned 10 mos). Unfortunately, just prior to this, he had a gastro-bug. Solids categorically refused for a week. Chronic diarrhoea for several days. We were worried for a few reasons; dr wasn't. He had lost weight- I already knew that would be the case. This was picked up at the review. But fortunately, the HV took this into account. Unfortunately, this made little difference with the effing growth charts. He is now on 25th centile, whereas he had been on 85th for first 2 months of life (though 50th at birth). So, his eating habits were under the microscope. DS baby-signs for milk (and now disrobes me if my response is too slow. HV says I should only be feeding him morning and night by this point. He evidently should also sleep through the night (never has, but I'm not bothered) because he should be getting all of his calories- from solids mostly during the day. We co-sleep, so I am fine with the night feeds (but I didn't even go there with HV, what she doesn't know won't hurt her) We are weaning for allergies and so he does not have the same diet as his lovely chubbier friends, which is why I am happy to demand feed. His diet won't always be restrictive- he's only just 10 months fgs. But the suggestion is I get his weight back up by stuffing him with high-fat foods: 2 puds a day was the specific recommendation. HV was actually very professional, nice even- just doing her job according to her training, I s'pose. But oh, it's got me down.

I believe in BF for him being the most important at this stage- it just has chipped my confidence a bit (especially as I had not caught up with sleep from DS's bout of unwellness). Also, I know that others have always had ideas about what I'm doing (MIL keeps talking about wanting to "fill him up", ie with solids) and this review just seems to support their views, not mine! I had a look on the WHO charts and LO is actually hovering at the 50th centile for BF babes. This put it in perspective for me. Temporarily. But I'd appreciate any comments from the MN community

[SeeYouEntee]

nachomama - sounds like you're doing a great job. Really.

I'm in a v similar situation. 8mo born on 99th centile, now on approx 50th. We're BLWing, so smaller amounts going in that many of his spoon fed friends. BFing 4-5 times a day incl one or two nightfeeds. HV and her advice sound identical to yours!

I would be very reassured by the fact that he;s 50th centile according to WHO.

The wise people I know have always said to look firstly at the baby, not the charts. Is he happy, lively and developing normally? If so, I don't think you have anything to worry about

PS - am v impressed that he's baby signing already!!

[theUrbanDryad]

nachomama - i'm not an expert, and can only echo what others have said on here before, but IMO your breastmilk isn't going to do him any harm, and if he's unwell will comfort him a lot. the HV's in this country (i assume you're in the UK?) aren't geared up to deal with things like extended breastfeeding and co-sleeping. they work by charts and centiles, and if your ds doesn't tick the boxes then it's a problem.

if you're worried about his weight, keep an eye on him over the next few weeks and make sure he gains it back. don't fill him up with solids if you don't want to. AFAIK (and as i say i'm not an expert) bm is high calorie, so will bump him up soon enough. i certainly wouldn't have thought 2 puddings a day would be the best idea as this will be unhealthy for him, and at the end of the day if he won't take solids there's not a lot you can do about it.

[Twinklemegan]

IMO it is none of your HVs business how many milk feeds he has per day. You're his mother and it sounds like you're doing all the right things.

[moondog]

Your breastmilk is nmot only 'not doing him any harm' it is the best damned thing in the whole wide world for him!

He is fine!!!

Just fine.

The woman,althoguh nice,is talking through her arse.

You obviously have a good thing going that you are happy with.

Leave it be.

[Piffle]

Crikey I have bf all of mine through the night up to a year even given solids
He sounds like he's doing fab and so are you
I also white lie to Hv's
what they don't know cannot hurt them
He will re position himself naturally on the centile he belongs on if he is allowed access to the food he wants
as you well know by the sounds of it

[PinkTulips]

nacho... your ds sounds just like mine

he was 50th centile at birth but jumped to 95th and stayed there for ages but was very chubby. since starting BLW (also for allergies which does restrict things alot) he's continued lengthening out but is't gaining which considering the size of him before is a good thing.

he still feeds on demand day and night (which is alot!) and we co-sleep too so we're both happy with his feeding for the minute

at his health check last week the doc and nurse were delighted with him and said his milk and food intakes were perfectly fine and i was doing everything right.

considering our babies and parenting sound very alike i think it's fair to say that those comments would apply to you too.

ignore crappy old fashioned HV, you know ds is fine and healthy and that's all that matters

[nachomama]

thank you thank you thank you
you are good

[moondog]

Repeat after me

HV although pleasant knows precisely.......




FUCK ALL about FUCK ALL


Better now??

[Twinklemegan]

Also babies all grow at different rates and the centile they're on at birth, or the couple of months afterwards, isn't an indicator of where they'll end up. My DS has dropped from just above the 50th to close to the 25th centile in his 9 months. There's nothing wrong with him at all - just not an ounce of extra fat that isn't baby chubbiness.

[grannycrackers]

"HV says I should only be feeding him morning and night by this point" i bet your baby disagrees
ffs i can't believe people get paid to give advice like that

[moondog]

I really don't agree with lying to HVs though.They need to be put straight.If you let them think that their advice is taken and works,they will only then go on to givivng other poor women shit advice.

It needs to be nipped in the bud.

[Twinklemegan]

The baby decides at the end of the day anyway. My DS has decided he doesn't want any more of that sh*te formula stuff than he has to have, hence he refuses any bottle except his morning and evening ones.

[jollyfolly]

do what you and ds want re the bf.... my ds co slept and bf through the night up until about 16 months..... i guess as long as your not bf just before a meal time then it is ok. I get confused about weight issues and centiles so prob not the best person to respond to that but you sound like you have it sorted in your own mind so trust your own judgement!

[moondog]

It doesn't matter when or where you breastfeed for God's sake.There are no laws about it. Good God,breastmilk has more calories in it than most stuff he would happily eat at this stage anyway.

Your baby

Your boobs

Your decision

[PinkTulips]

ds won't eat his dinner unless he's full of bm..... go figure

he has a huge feed before dinner, eats like horse (only meal of the day he's interested in), then has another mammoth bf!

[nachomama]

ahhh
much better, moondog.
thank you

[lemonaid]

Only feeding twice at 9-10 months is just bizarre, apart from anything else. I'm pretty sure that all the babies I knew around DS's age were still on at least four feeds a day at that point. Obviously some babies want to cut down, but to suggest that they all must is odd.

[lisad123]

Sorry fairly new to all of this, I only BF DD for 4 weeks before I became too ill to feed her without risking her health.
So are you BF and giving 3 meals aday or is it less? I know advice has changed now to not wean till 6 months rather than 4 months.

Im 19 weeks now and am hoping to BF for as long as possible but have no idea about weaning and BF together.

My HV always told me that they only worry about weight if they drop more than 2 centrile thingies like 75th to 25th
Thanks

[terramum]

DS lost weight when he was 8-9 months old as he started solids, had a cold & learnt to crawl all around the same time so he was burning off more calories and taking less in (mainly coz of the cold, but a little due to the solids)...he soon bounced back the next month & tbh if I hadnt had him weighed I woudnt have noticed - he was still his happy self

As for feeding twice a day - well every baby is different but DS is now 2.9yrs & still feeds at least 3 times a day....& has started waking in the night as hes having a HUGE development & growth spurt atm. your HV may be nice - but by spouting carp like twice a day & not at night is showing she has very little, or any training in BFing - I would personally complain about her & get her some training before she damages someones bfing - not everyone has the internet to fall back on

[welliemum]

If he's been poorly, nachomama, he needs the antibodies etc in BM. There are no antibodies in cream buns that I'm aware of.

Am on your behalf.

By the way, there's been some research showing that feeding up a baby to purely to induce "catch-up growth" may cause problems for them in later life.

I posted a link on MN - will see if I can find it later.

Good luck - you know you're right.

[lefthandedlady]

11-month old dd is still having loads of bfeeds throughout the day (and night-rather tiringly but I love her!!). Babies get most of their nutrition from mum's milk up to about a year, don't they? And solids are to supplement and to fill up. That's what I've been doing anyway and have a huge dd, 106 percentile!! (corrected age, was born 1 month prem, for 11 months she's 95 percentile)

Sounds like you're doing splendidly - just bfeed on demand, offering lots of healthy fare, with enough good calories- to supplement with.

[lefthandedlady]

By loads of feeds - I mean at least 6 or 7 and that's at 11 months!!

HVs do talk bollocks....if you observe bfeeding habits in many countries (other than the UK) children are habitually bfed throughout the day until at least 2...( the world average)

this is how we were designed to be...in nature there are no hvs wagging fingers telling mothers to cut down on feeds, they just feed on demand until baby decides he or she has had enough...

[nachomama]

thank you all for your brilliance.

Now that I am catching up on sleep, I feel more confident and ok with things. I have posted on other BF threads with words of encouragement, and your posts have helped me listen to my own advice.

BTW, I am not excusing HV by saying she was nice- it's just that I was expecting a more judgmental approach from past experiences (others' as well as mine) with HVs. I think I find it easier to fight my corner when the nature of the business is more adversarial. I don't know why.

You're all grand. Ta so much!

[berolina]

Aaaaargh, these centiles

ds has pretty much always bounced along the bottom of the dreaded charts for both height and weight, occasionally slipping just under. He is happy, has only ever been ill once, is developmentally right up to speed and it is clearly The Way He Is. Thank goodness for relaxed health professionals like the paediatrician who did his 2 year check the other day - who said yes, he is small and light, but his development is fine, he is folllowing his own pattern [he was 6lb 2 at birth - plus dh is 5'2] there is no indication of anything wrong, just pop in every 6 months for weighing and measuring, off you go.

BTW, ds is 2 next month, can eat loads and we've only really got to the bf-morning-and-evening-only stage in the last 2 months or so.