Bottle feeding at night - please help me to stop it.

[LuigiB]

First of all please don't be too harsh on me, I know that I shouldn't be doing this but it is the only way I have been able to cope.

My 15 month old ds2 is a lovely, cheeky active boy who eats relatively well and is healthy in all other respects. The only trouble is that at night he wakes up about four times crying out for a bottle from about 11 until 6, and to my shame I give it to him. I give him about 150ml each time he wakes, and half of that is water.

I do this for two reasons - DH has very bad sleep problems himself and I am trying to get ds2 to sleep as quick as possible so he doesn't wake up either DH or ds1. Consequently because I can get back to sleep easily I am always the one that gets up.
The second reason I do it is because I am a giant softie, but I know that it is not good for either his sleep patterns or mine.

Dh and ds1 are going back to DH's home country for a visit (I didn't want to go at this time of year) and I have an opportunity to try and rectify this, I know it's going to involve some crying but I think if I am not worried about waking others up it will make it easier.

So any tips or tricks? I plan on offering water only, but is that the only way to go? Thanks for any help...

[fledermaus]

Does he fall asleep on the bottle at bedtime?

[LuigiB]

Yes most nights - I know this is bad for his teeth, but it is always empty so I hope that would help.

[TheresLotsOfFarmyardAnimals]

Set a time limit that you're not going to feed before. So if you put him down at 7pm don't feed for 10 hours and then not again until morning. He really doesn't need a night feed at 15 months old and you know this.

You can maybe leave a non spill cup of water in his cot but don't go to him and offer him water as this is just replacing one habit with the other.

If you do continue with one night feed at 5am or afterwards then reduce it oz by oz in the bottle until there is nothing left. At 15 months he will understand but not be happy with the phrase 'all gone.' By reducing oz by oz he will hopefully jus transfer this to his morning milk.

I would therefore just go into his room and say sorry, there's not milk left, it's all gone. It's time to go to sleep now and settle in his cot. Try not to get him out, just repeatedly laying him back down seemed to work with DS.

I would be very tempted to just ditch the bottle altogether and only offer a sippy cup.

I night- weaned my DS. He was ready and therefore it was relatively easy.

Don't feel bad, it is easy to fall into this

[LuigiB]

Thank you so much for the help and reassurance TheresLotsOfFarmyardAnimals, I will definitely do this plan, I guess I just need to realise that short term pain will give way to long term gain i.e. we all get more sleep!

[sunshine05]

agree with her ^^ As hard as it is, it's best to just stop and most importantly don't give in! It may feel so hard to start with and there may be lots of tears but be reassured after a few nights he will get the message that night feeds are no longer an option. You can give cuddles and say sorry no milk or whatever word you use for it and say you can have milk in the morning, just keep it consistent. Good luck and keep strong! I haven't had this same issue but have found consistency with previous night waking problems has paid off.

[fledermaus]

I would actually tackle the bedtime bottle first - if he needs a bottle to fall asleep at bedtime then he will need it to get back to sleep in the night. If you can teach him to self- settle then he is less likely to wake at night.

[LuigiB]

Thank you both for your responses - this lets me know I am doing the right thing.

[sunshine05]

let us know how you get on!