So torn, any advice appreciated.

[Tomkat79]

Have been bf my DD now for almost 10 weeks. It's starting to make me as miserable as I am happy about doing it if that makes sense.
We had a shaky start, c section, anaemic, PPH, weight loss, pumping and domperidone....from about 6 weeks I felt as though we'd cracked it. She has the occasional bottle of formula to give me a break and takes ff/ebf in a bottle no problem.
I'm tired. I'm so tired I feel like I could sleep for a week. We co-sleep as safer as i would fall asleep feeding her and worried about dropping her. She feeds about 2-3 times in the night and generally has the whole night/day thing worked out.
Day times are different matter. We try the whole eat/activity/sleep routine and after 30-40 mins she's showing sleepy signs but will only go off to sleep using me as a dummy. Then when I try and put her down she wakes up, screams and ends up so so tired the next steps become a battle.
I can't pick her up without her nuzzling towards my boobs and getting all fretful if I don't comfort feed. I've tried all shapes/makes of dummy...she gags on all of them. She shoves her fist in her mouth so far that she's sometimes sick.
I'm overweight and my body will not let any excess go until I finish bf. Same with 7 yo DS. So I'm sweating loads. Day and night. I am not one of the lucky ones that the weight falls off...I could feed 24/7 and stay the same. My body holds on to all it's reserves!
I have hardly any clothes to wear and am so warm wearing 2 layers so can feed her when out and about. We can't go far as either have to walk or use bus as she screams blue murder in the car seat and I can't bear it.
I know bf is best and I love the comfort it offers DD and convenience of it, but just wondering if enough is enough.
DH loves me feeding. He'd say whatever is best for me but I know he'd like me to carry on.
I just don't know what to do. Feel so selfish even contemplating stopping.
Thanks for reading if you've got this far x

[Tomkat79]

And now the friggin cats just woken her up meowing!!! FML!!!

[SlicedAndDiced]

You sound EXACTLY like I did a year and a half ago

It felt so angry/upset/ stressed for the first 3/4 months.

It did get better for me and managed to feed dd for a year.

BUT you have yo do what's right for you. It doesn't get better for some women, or you may not want to go through another month feeling like that.

Formula isn't poison and you shouldn't feel bad if you can't quite manage it. You've done brilliantly already

[Tomkat79]

Thanks sliced. Do you mind me asking what changed for things to get better? I don't want to regret any decision I make.
I fed DS for 10 months but my life was so different then...no school runs/money worries/work to return to etc. I used to think formula was the devil back then but am much more realistic now. She loves a bottle and I love the break.

[ShineSmile]

Well done for getting to 10 weeks

If BF is making you miserable, don't do it, it isn't worth it. Your baby needs and wants a happy mother.

However, if you can manage to somehow not be miserable and BF, then continue.

[SlicedAndDiced]

I'm not really sure what changed op

One day it just didn't seem so shit anymore. It really depends on how you feel. If your comfortable pushing on for a bit go for it, it might get better.

But you really shouldn't feel bad at all if you want to change to formula if you feel it would make you happier or more relaxed op.

[BadPenny]

TomKat, I'm sure this won't always be possible but if she won't go down in the daytime without being latched on are there any times you could lie down and nap with her or at least lie down and rest/read a book/relax while she naps?

Might help you feel less exhausted... Lots of hugs and well done for getting this far after what sounds like a traumatic start! x

[OrangeMochaFrappucino]

Just to say, I too cannot shift weight whilst bfing and layering in this heat is a killer! I fed my first uncomplainingly but am also finding it harder with number two...I'm more tired and more frustrated having to drop everything to feed all the time. Also more self conscious feeding in public which is odd after feeding ds1 for over a year!

I'm 15 weeks in and my reasons for perservering are:

1. I'm too tight to splash out on formula when I can make milk for free.
   

1. On balance, I'd find sterilising bottles too much of a faff to do every day and I'd never be organised enough to pack up feeds for a day out.
   

1. I don't plan anymore children so this is my last time breastfeeding... it is a special thing that I will miss, despite the relentlessness and frustration of it. And I know the really intense part won't last forever and I will be able to lose weight, have a full night's sleep, wear what I like in the future, but I'll never have a snuggly baby to nurse again.
   

Those are my reasons though - there are plenty of reasons to switch to formula and don't feel bad about it if that's what you want to do!

[milkjetmum]

10 weeks is still early days and summer holidays have just started so it's harder with an older ds to entertain too! As pp have said, you would not be unreasonable to ff if it will make your life less stressul.

Just wanted to say I was the same weight wise after dd1 (now nearly 4) and couldn't loose anything until after I stopped bf. But with dd2 (5 months) it all changed around the 3 month mark (same time all my lush pregnany hair fell out and boobs settled down) and I am loosing weight fast. So might not necessarily be the same as first time round.

[Pointlessfan]

I went through the same thing with baby not napping in the day and wanting to feed every time I picked her up. Then it suddenly got better at around 12 weeks. DD is 4 months now and has about 5-6 good feeds during the day, a bottle of EBM from DH at bed time while I have a break and one night feed. I hope things get better for you but don't worry about using formula if not, it'll be fine.

[Tomkat79]

Thanks all for the really helpful replies.

These LO change on a daily basis and i know if I can't just get past this phase things will ease up and I'll have something else to moan worry about.

DD is a perceptive little madam who def picks up from me if not relaxed etc and responds accordingly.

We both went to bed this afternoon for a quiet feed and nap which was lovely and she was much happier for it.

We'll carry on for now with the occasional top up and take each day. Thanks again lovelies.

[Oly4]

Hello! My daughter is 14 weeks and is fed to sleep for every nap and wake in the night. So what? She likes the comfort and I get to watch telly while she does it. I would throw out the rule books and just go with it. It won't last forever. Feeding to sleep isn't the end of the world in my opinion..