Breast feeding and going back to work

[underachievingmum]

I wonder if anyone can help me?

DC3 will be just over 12 months when I go back to work, I've expressed for both DD1 and DS1 at work but on this occasion I no longer have an office that I am going to be able to use.

I've never made a fuss before and just sorted it out but for a variety of reasons work have been a PITA about my work pattern going back I think I may need to be more assertive this time.

Have had a scout around online and found the stuff about employers providing a quiet space to rest for new and expectant mums and this would appear to extend to bread feeding mums. Am pretty confident my workplace has nothing of the sort and am going to struggle to find anywhere to express without it being a daily battle.

Does anyone know if there is an age for the child beyond which the employer is not longer obliged to provide these things even if I am still breast feeding? And has anyone had any success in getting an employer to provide suitable facilities and have any advice they'd like to share?

Thanks in advance

[BlearyeyedLol]

Hi, I'm in the same situation. Going back when dd will be just over 12 months. From what I've read, if child is over 12 months you are at your employers mercy as to whether they will support you or not. Mine have been absolute tits and said I can't have any extra breaks as it doesn't suit the business. I've checked with hr and it turns out they have no obligations towards me.
Good luck!

[underachievingmum]

Thanks Bleary - sorry you are having trouble too.

Will just have to take a more softly softly approach then. Shame - quite fancied being all belligerent about it too

[soupmaker]

Maternity Action have a useful leaflet online about your rights - or lack of them - when returning to work and BFing. Can't link as on phone but google and it'll come up. Are you in a unionised workplace?

[underachievingmum]

Have seem that leaflet but doesn't comment on an upper age of child to which it applies. No union.

Just going to have to bite the bullet and ask nicely - and see how far it gets me. and tell them how grumpy I am about losing an office while on mat leave!

[fledermaus]

Will you still need to express at that age?

[CityDweller]

I too lost my office whilst on mat leave and returned to a shared office. Luckily, I shared with a very 'right on' older woman who was perfectly happy for me to lock the door and express twice a day (with or without her in it - I had no problem expressing 'in front' of her - in fact, our desks/ computers provided a decent screen so that it wasn't awkward and I wasn't flashing too much boob in her face).

So, long way of asking, what exactly is your work set up and might you have amenable office-mates who'd be willing to clear out twice a day for you to pump? Or do you have a friendly female colleague with her own office who might be willing to let you use it to pump?

And you're absolutely sure you'll need to express? I stopped at 12 months and DD just had extra snacks/ water when we were apart and I carried on bf as normal when we were together.

[weebairn]

I went back to work at 10 months and didn't express. Baby had water or food in the day. She was a good eater, though. My boobs were sore at first but it didn't last too long.

We continued breastfeeding until 21 months and only really stopped due to pregnancy, milk supply dropping.

I have a very busy, on-my-feet jobs where normal breaks are hard to come by let alone expressing ones and in the end I couldn't even face asking them. Also by 10 months I couldn't really express anything much (though my supply was obviously fine). I did some long shifts (13 hour ones) including night ones - I also had whole days off with my baby where she fed more.

I found she was very adaptable at that age and the hardest thing was how emotional I found it all.

That was just my experience, I didn't find I needed to. I wish you all the best in sorting it out though, if that's what you need to do for you & your baby.

I joined la leche league group when I went back to work as that was by far the hardest time I found with bf. They were supportive to cry to and had lots of useful info including employee rights.

[underachievingmum]

Think I will need to at least initially - I still get uncomfortably full if we go for a longer period without feeds and she still feeds at least twice between the morning and evening feeds. She is currently nearly 11 months.

Office used to be shared with two male colleagues who weren't always there and would just look a bit sheepish then disappear for a bit. One with good grace, the other a little put out. The latter is now my line manager. Office now is smaller and shared with at least half a dozen other people whom I have never met

[underachievingmum]

Sorry - xpost with weebairn. I wonder if we maybe work in a similar environment - I have done my fair share of 13 hour night shifts without breaks but fortunately before children!

I went back at a similar age with DS1 and found that I needed too although only for 2 or 3 months. He rarely drank the milk I left with the childminder and continued to feed on the days I was at home so I know it will be fine.

TBH they have annoyed me with a number of things - particularly the office so am in the mood to be difficult! Won't be though - just in the mood too! May explore la leche - not sure there is a group locally though!

[springbabydays]

I was in your position except I didn't fancy expressing at work. What I did was gradually replaced the daytime milk feeds with either cow's milk or a biscuit in the weeks leading up to my return to work. My supply adjusted gradually so I didn't feel uncomfortable in the day. Morning and evening feeds unaffected.

On my days off I'm still able to give up to two extra feeds if necessary (smaller ones admittedly). It's worked really well for us.

[CityDweller]

If it's a case of just expressing for your own comfort, could you pop into the loos and either do a quick express with a manual pump or a hand express? I never managed to hand express for comfort, but could relieve the pressure with a manual pump in just a couple of minutes.

It's far from ideal, I know, but if no private space/ allotted break time is forthcoming you may have to excuse yourself for lengthy loo breaks instead.

(And what was the context of your office change? Were you the only person moved in this way? Is it a case of pregnancy discrimination that they've put you in a less desirable office set-up?)

[bonkersLFDT20]

I think you should have a returning to work meeting with your boss before you go back. You should raise the issue then.

I don't know about upper age for an employer to provide a room for expressing I'm afraid.

I think in your position, regardless of what provision you work will make for you, I'd work on doing away with expressing at this age.

How many days will you be working and for how long will you be apart from your baby?

I have successfully BF two children until age 3 and 4 having returned to work at 12 weeks with DS1 and 9 months with DS2. I did express with DS1 but didn't with DS2 though was VERY fortunate to have him in nursery on site so I went over to BF him at lunch time. But not for very many months. Instead he learnt to have a big feed on waking, at drop-off, collection and in the evening and all night.

[GhoulWithADragonTattoo]

I did the same as springbabydays - breastfed for morning and evening feeds and let DD have cows milk plus water and food during the day at nursery. It does save the hassle of pumping at work if you're not going back until your baby is 12 months.