Bf past a year old, friends and family nagging me to stop

(24 Posts)
ClariceBeanthatsme Mon 24-Feb-14 11:35:32

Ds is almost 1 year old and breastfed. Recently family, work colleges and especially dp have started saying maybe he's getting a bit big to be still bf and asking how long im planning on carrying on for.
I am actually very happy to carry on for as long as ds wants to (within reason) but so tired of peoples attitudes to me STILL bf.
So can I ask those of you who did continue past a year how did you deal with comments about stopping soon
Thank you

gamerchick Mon 24-Feb-14 11:41:44

Tell them it's up to your bairn and change the subject.

I fed until 3 1/2.. people were fun to play with when they poked their noses in.

I always liked the raised eyebrow and the 'I'm amazed at how many people think of my boobs. bizarre'

CMOTDibbler Mon 24-Feb-14 11:45:23

I went for the 'I'm sure we'll stop before he goes to university' and swift change of subject method. No point in arguing about it.
The only person in your case that it would be worth talking more about it with is your dp - what does he object to?

Showy Mon 24-Feb-14 11:47:30

Same as gamer.

"You seem peculiarly interested in my breasts, how interesting. Why do you think that is?"

Largely people were/are supportive. Usually, I ignore the critics.

TinyTear Mon 24-Feb-14 11:49:39

I bring out the WHO stats that it is recommended to 2 years old.

my daughter is now 2 and i stopped replying. none of their business and I am doing don't offer, so she only gets it when she asks for it

With the exception of DP it's non of their business, why on earth do work colleagues and all, but very close friends even know?

I'm afraid I'd tell them to fuck off, it's on of their business.

As for DP, why does he want you to stop? If you co-sleep still get woken at night, I can see him having a problem, otherwise it's a non issue.

If he doesn't like other people's reactions he needs to grow a pair and support you!

If he finds it hard to reconcile breasts for feeding and breast for sex, he needs to grow up. Breasts are very clever, they can feel sexual when being kissed by a man and friendly and special when fed from by a child, it's quite a different feeling. It doesn't matter if the DC is 8 weeks, 8 months or 8 years old, there is nothing sexual, nothing for a partner to be any more jealous of than mum and child having a hug.

Oh and it doesn't make the child more babyish. DD2 is the most sociable, clever and mature child your ever likely to meet.

(My never EBF, have up totally by 5 months is the odd quirky one)

Tell them to get te feck!

It is between you and your son! Do NOT give up as a result of feeling pressure from others. You may live to regret it and then feel resentful for the loss of something you can't get back.

I fed dd until 17mths. It quite naturally fizzled out, and one night I just decided it would be the last. She barely noticed as was only night/comfort feeding occasionally.

I did feel more self conscious at that age too though which is very sad. (Though had nothing to do with stopping)

I really missed her afterwards and used to cry about it. grin

It's a lovely, special time and the most natural thing in the world. Don't give it up for anyone/thing but yourself.

HappyJustToBe Mon 24-Feb-14 12:01:54

We stopped when DD was 2. People stopped asking after a while because it was bedtime and naptime so, although not a secret, wasn't really seen. I just cited WHO recommendations and variations of, "my breasts seem awfully interesting to other people all of a sudden".

I mentioned to my sister that DD was still mentioning having a feed 7 months on and she was surprised I'd stopped!

ClariceBeanthatsme Mon 24-Feb-14 14:10:34

Thank you for replies. I think dp is being influenced by his families opinions on bf.

ClariceBeanthatsme Mon 24-Feb-14 14:11:11

Thank you for replies. I think dp is being influenced by his families opinions on bf.

Onsera3 Mon 24-Feb-14 14:21:22

15 mo and DS is the size of a 2-3 yo so I prob get a few looks but I don't notice.

MIL has asked and I even got asked by a HCP this week and I just quote the WHO stats.

DS has a good appetitie and eats a variety of foods but, as much as I try, it's hard to give him snacks with protein and fat (we can't eat dairy or peanut butter) though he gets plenty in his main meals. At least I know he is getting fat and protein btw meals with milk.

Toddler food faves are often lacking in things like iron, protein and fat eg DS loves raisins and rice cakes. Breast milk provides nearly half of the daily requirements of some nutrients. Even though your toddler feeds less the milk becomes more concentrate.

You prob know all this but I'm just sharing the info that I have in my mind when people ask when I'm stopping.

DIYandEatCake Wed 26-Feb-14 17:28:23

I've mentioned the WHO recommendation and also pointed out that dd still needed plenty of milk to drink, and why feed her milk meant for baby cows when she could have human milk with all the necessary nutrients?
Do you go to a La Leche League group at all? If not I really recommend it for meeting other mums feeding older babies/toddlers, it really helped give me confidence and support in carrying on feeding dd til she was 2 and a bit (would have carried on longer but she self weaned during my pregnancy with ds).

MumbleJumbles Wed 26-Feb-14 21:17:14

I BF my third baby until 20 months...plenty of friends / family kept asking when I was going to give up. I simply replied "we love it! DD loves it and I love it, so we'll do it for as long as she wants". No-body could argue with that.

DC3 is a real tiddler - she's now 2yo and could probably pass for a 1yo, so I happily BF her in public right up until the 20mnths and no-body seemed to notice / realise it was extended BF.

When I cuddle her now and, sometimes, she falls into that BF position, I feel a real pang of sadness that I will probably never BF again (last planned baby). So don't give up on account of comments from your friends / family, go for as long as you both want to and completely relish that time together, just you and your baby snuggled together.

"How long are you going to bf?"
"Until he goes to university." (Smile)
Did the trick for me, people soon stopped asking.

weebairn Fri 28-Feb-14 21:08:28

I mention WHO sometimes.

Mostly I just smile and say "it's good for her and it's good for me and we're both happy with it, if any of those things change we'll stop!"

weebairn Fri 28-Feb-14 21:09:18

I also found La Leche group helpful, just to hang out with and normalise it all (and whinge a bit at times smile )

I stopped mentioning it to people and they assumed I'd stopped. He breastfed until 4 smile

DH (then DP) did make some comments which I found hurtful but I mostly carried on doing my own thing and tried not to let it bother me. Tried educating him but realised he didn't really want a lecture, if he wanted to know the whys and wherefores he could google it himself, he didn't.

Agree La Leche League brilliant. I met some of my best friends there, too. Some areas have "toddler meetings" where you can specifically talk about breastfeeding older children - over 18 months or so.

CocktailQueen Fri 28-Feb-14 21:14:33

I fed dd till 2 and DS till a month short of 3. It's sad that people are so blinded by the sexualisation of breasts that they can 't remember what they're really for.

I like any of the suggestions above!

Show your dh some of the stats about extended bfing - how it protects children's immune systems, etc, etc. it's such a precious time, and I really miss it sometimes. Don't be bullied into giving up before you want to!

littlebluedog12 Fri 28-Feb-14 21:18:23

I just shrugged and said 'when she's ready' and left it at that. I found once DH's family realised I wasn't going to change they just stopped asking and no doubt talked about it behind my back grin

GiniCooper Fri 28-Feb-14 21:18:29

Just don't discuss it.
Shortly your DC will more than likely only seek you out for comfort/sleepy time rather than FOOD!!

I fed one of mine until they were almost two and I doubt anyone actually realised unless I chose to inform them.

ClariceBeanthatsme Fri 28-Feb-14 21:23:26

Well I don't think we will be stopping bf anytime soon he still feeds alot through the night (we co sleep) and during the day.
I do really enjoy bf and as he will be be our last baby (bf dd until 6 months) I am in no rush to stop.
It just feels so normal and natural to me to carry on bf but I suppose I have to remember some dont feel that way.

ToughSpuds Fri 28-Feb-14 21:23:40

I couldn't BF but I wouldn't dream of telling someone to stop shock
I would stop when you feel like the time is right. Don't give into peer pressure. If you start to feel uncomfortable maybe you could express your milk?

CountryGal13 Sat 01-Mar-14 21:53:37

My sister said to me today 'so, I presume you'll stop breastfeeding when she turns 1?' I said that I had no plans atm and that it was still working well for us both. She was nodding at me in a disapproving way and I can tell that she, my mum and other sister have been discussing it and saying that they think it's time I stop.

I'm not stopping because of their ignorance. It'll only make my life more difficult, I have no long term plans, I'll stop when it feels right. Sod em smile

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