Any other bf mums had these feelings?

(33 Posts)
MB34 Sat 25-May-13 21:39:23

Before DS was born 6 months ago I was adamant that I was going to ff but then decided to give bf a go for a few days to see how it went and even though I went through 4 weeks of pain induced hell, I stuck at it and he's been ebf ever since.

I love bf him and am so glad I managed to tackle the issues in the early days but the last week, I've been feeling a bit like 'maybe it would have been easier to ff' and have got a bit down about it. It's really got to me today and have had a bit of a cry of over it tonight.

The main reasons for this are that so many ff mums I hear of saying that their DC sleep 7-7 and when my DS is waking up to 10x a night and I'm so tired, it doesn't seem fair. Also, when people say that it doesn't matter whether you ff or bf, that it doesn't matter when the DCs are older how they were fed when they were babies - I wonder why I put myself though what I did in the early days and now, with the night wakings.

I know this next bit will sound incredibly selfish but we had a festival in our area today, so DH, DS and I went for a wander and stopped by our local pub (where DH has been a regular for the past 15 years). There were a few women there who I know have DCs younger than mine and were out having a day/night out drinking with their friends and I felt so envious. I have been out on a night out once (for 4 hours) since DS was born and even then it was a bit of a nightmare, trying to organise DS, his feeds, pumping and dumping etc so I haven't bothered since.

Don't know what I hope to gain from this post, maybe someone has been through the same and can give me some encouraging words...

LAF77 Wed 29-May-13 11:16:40

neverending here is a link to the reflux thread

Neverending2012 Wed 29-May-13 22:33:26

For those writing about how wonderful breastfeeding is, please keep in mind the feelings of many women who find it doesn't always work. I successfully fed by first but my second was different. He had a weak suck and couldn't latch. If it wasnt for formula he would probably not made it - the speech and language therapists confirmed this. As for not bonding with a ff baby in the same way as a ff fed. Honestly it makes no difference. Please bear in mind things are not always clear cut and please be tolerant of peoples' circumstances and choices. These things are often not clear cut.

Neverending2012 Wed 29-May-13 22:40:01

Thanks for the link LAF77

catellington Thu 30-May-13 00:20:52

MB34 I completely understand what you're saying.
I really really love breastfeeding my daughter. But I do so sometimes feel like a slave to breastfeeding. She has refused bottles even though I've tried with bottles of breast milk since she was 4 weeks. But when I finally gave up trying to get her to take a bottle a couple of weeks ago ( she is now 12 weeks) it was a huge weight off my shoulders. I just resigned myself to the whole thing, I got some nice nursing tops and dresses and decided to really enjoy and make the most of the experience. I went out and fed her whenever and wherever (often accompanied by coffee and chocolate cake!) just to prove to myself i wasn't completely trapped. And i really do love it. There are a couple of events I have over the summer at which I would love to have a couple of glasses of wine, but all in all it isn't too bad I not think, in the scheme of things. I just remind myself how amazing the whole baby making process is, and that I've grown this little person from a tiny bunch of cells! For a year now!

Now going back to work in the autumn...that's another issue! Not sure how to handle that one ! But am hoping that she will be ok by then not nursing during the day. Am taking encouragement from amazing's post!

Incidentally she has slept for 8 hrs average since about 6 weeks...no sleep training at all, we just went with the flow, but she does 'cluster feed' every night ...gets totally tanked up from about 6pm until she passes out, she did this right from the start. I'm not sure if its possible to encourage your baby to do this. I get through the cluster sessions by watching films or box sets. It's about two or three hours on average per night it then she is out from 9ish so worth it.

I suppose in summary, I'm trying to make the most of it, but i do understand and sometimes feel the sense of imprisonment you describe.

PurplePidjin Thu 30-May-13 04:24:05

Alcohol takes 30 minutes to hit bm, apparently, so the trick is to have your glass of wine during the last feed of the evening, then it's out of your system before it can get to the baby wink

MB34 Mon 03-Jun-13 21:13:23

Neverending thanks for your post - I started this thread as I was feeling very down about bf and the limitations it's putting on my life.

I understand that not everyone can bf for one reason or another and many/some ff mummies would rather be bf but this thread was never about that (or reflux!?) and us bf mummies have issues too.

I am glad that people have shown me support on my thread asking for help and are saying how wonderful bf is. I have found it very comforting and it has given me strength to know that I'm not the only one feeling this way, just as I'm sure if you had started a thread about your second DC, you would have support from people in a similar situation too.

chocolatemartini Mon 03-Jun-13 21:26:26

I've had the odd drink while bf, I just try to time it so he doesn't get it in his milk and I only have one small glass.

Read this for more encouragement.

chocolatemartini Mon 03-Jun-13 21:32:44

neverending do bear in mind that the op has asked for support with bf. People are bound to post lots about how wonderful bf is! Of course in some circumstances formula saves lives (and sanity). But for the reasons the op suggested (sleeping through the night, being able to have a drink) it isn't necessarily helpful to switch to formula.

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