My local maternity unit have asked me to talk to expectant mothers about breastfeeding - what should I say?

[Miaou]

Really chuffed to have been asked (I contacted them a couple of months ago and offered to support them)

Anyway they have asked me to talk about my experiences of b/feeding and to answer questions, but I would like to know what you wish you had been told about b/feeding when you were pg for the first time.

I am in a very high-rate bottlefeeding area so I think I will have my work cut out!!

[MamaG]

I wish I'd been told that yes, it can be very difficult at first, but if you persevere it is fantastic. Rewarding, free and easy to prepare!

[Littlefish]

Well done Miaou - what a fantastic thing to be asked to do. Will you be talking to people before or after the birth?

I wish someone had told me that it isn't supposed to hurt!

I wish that someone had given me all the phone numbers of LLL, NCT, Breastfeeding clinics etc.

I wish that someone had told me to think about it one feed at a time, rather than seeing a whole painful 6 months stretching ahead of me.

When I asked about giving up, I wish someone had told me whether it was possible to mix feed, even if just for a couple days to allow my cracked, bleeding, infected nipple to heal!!!

[Miaou]

thanks - I'm talking at a Parentcraft (antenatal) class but the head midwife wants to set up a breastfeeding support network on the peninsula where I live and is very keen for me to help set this up - so I will be back with more questions/seeking advice!

[Tatties]

That's great Miaou!

I wish someone had told me about the benefits of exclusive bf (sterile gut, etc..). I was told that "one bottle of formula won't do any harm" if I needed a break or wanted to help ds sleep longer. I did give a few bottles of formula at around 4 mths as ds was such a terrible sleeper and I thought it might help (of course it didn't). I am still bf ds at 13mths and it probably hasn't done any harm, but I'll never know, and I was annoyed that I wasn't given the opportunity to make an informed choice about giving formula. Rather than just being told categorically that it won't do any harm.

So there! Good luck with it Miaou, let us know how it goes.

[bundle]

stress:

a) getting help if struggling is vital, and not an admission of failure
b) it's free!
c) no washing up
d) it may help you to lose baby weight

[mawbroon]

I spent the last few weeks before baby was born reading all the bf threads on MN, so I felt I was as prepared as I could ever be. We made it to 26 weeks exculsively and are still going strong. It really helped me to know in advance that:

• you never run out of milk
  
• baby wanting to feed non stop is completely normal and will pass (eventually!!)
  
• if you don't get much when expressing, it doesn't mean that there's not much there
  
• there are plenty of people to support you, especially if your HV isn't too hot on bf advice
  
• the first few weeks are hard work, and the real reward comes once you are past the hard bit
  
• there's always someone on MN who will know the answer to your question!!
  

HTH and good for you for volunteering. I was thinking about asking my MW if she wanted me to talk to mums to be here as the bf rates in our area are dismal, but I am too chicken! Good luck

MB

[kate100]

That's great miaou, congratulations!
1 - it's hard to begin with
2 - ask for help if you need it
3 - explain about supply and demand, e.g. the more you feed the more milk you have, I was never sure there was anything coming out in the early days

[OhhhMyGOD]

maybe you can help me in about 8 months too mioau.

Would love to BF this time

[LIZS]

Good for you ! I did something similar at an antenatal class and was met with a fair amount of indiffernece , so be prepared ! tbh I'm not sure it meant an awful lot to idealistic first timers, you can't really think beyond the birth itself at that stage.

ds was about 8 weeks old and by then I was able to talk about how hard it had been initially - ds was a ventouse delivery and jaundiced so very sleepy - but I was glad I'd persevered and how things had started to come together fro us at 6 weeks, then I'd got a blockage but was dealing with that and that support from mw, bfc etc was available. Agree it is worth emphasising that every feed counts, by expressing you can take a break or involve dh/dp, to set yourself short term goals if you really want it to work but find it hard, and if in doubt ask for help if it hurts, to check the latch and gain confidence that it is working etc.

[marymaryquitecontrary]

I did this at my local hosp and it was great. The thing I would stress (and wish it had been made clearer to me) is that having a small baby is tiring and bloody hard work whatever type of feeding you are doing. Whenever the HV asked about how i was feeling and i said I was really exhausted, she always looked to the feeding and suggested a night time top up with formula might help. I didn't do this, but felt that I was making it harder for myself as I wanted to BF exclusively. In hindsight I now realise that any method of feeding which requires you to get up between 11 and 7 is going to wear you out! I think people often think a bottle will make things easier, which isn't the case.

I really stressed the weight thing and the lack of hassle with taking bottles out, sterilising etc etc. Hope some people found it helpful.

[Arabica]

I think I would have liked to have known:
1 That it's completely normal to struggle to get baby into the right position for a latch when you have had a C-section, and therefore completely appropriate to seek help;
2 That the traditional holds for breastfeeding (ie sitting up) aren't the only ways to do it: if you have big boobs (I was a J cup) there are still plenty of different ways to feed eg lying down, or rugby ball hold (IIRC)that you can try.
3 That once you have got the hang of it (and most women will eventually) spaces set aside for feeding in shops like Mothercare and M&S are a great idea in principle but often stink to high heaven--use the cafe instead.

[starlover]

that some babies don't naturally want to latch on!

i got so sick of people telling me the whole nose to nipple thing.... it didn't work with ds,... he screamed when put anywhere near me!

so, i'd have liked to been told that not all babies GET IT.. it doesn't always just happen naturally.

that you aren't a failure because your baby won't come near you to feed

i'd have liked to know beforehand what the best thing to do with a non-breastfeeding baby is.
i got such conflicting advice: give him formula, give him a dummy, bottle feed him, syringe feed him...
i had no support to express and wasn't told where the stuff was or how often to do it.

[motherinferior]

I think it's important to stress that yes, it usually does hurt at the beginning but that should sort - and if it doesn't, you can and should get help; that if you get shivery, or itchy nipples, or red patches, you must get help; that once it's established it really can be incredibly convenient - especially if you go on holiday; and that it's also protecting you from conditions like breast cancer.

Realistically, I think b/feeding makes it harder for the first month or two, and then easier for the longer term. When you're stuck in the throes of it, you can't see beyond the immediate - but in fact, your relationship with your baby is long-term and it does really really help to stick at it.

[cod]

DONT tellt hem oyu haet o do ti till the kid is 2

if they are nin any doubt thatw ill make em NOT do it
usps are price/ ease /diet thing

[MumtoBen]

I would probably would want to be told these things:
About the foremilk and the hindmilk
That b/f babies feed a lot at the beginning and this is normal
That they often have a day of intense feeding to up your milk supply as they grow and need more milk
It saves a lot of money on formula
Much easier if you go away on holiday or are out a lot.
You can lose baby weight quickly
Lansinoh is wonderful and got me through the difficult first week
The longer you do it, the easier it gets
After the painful bit it is very pleasurable. My son used to roll his eyes in ectasy when b/f-ing!
If you are very sore or in pain it could be thrush or mastitis and see a doctor as these things can be sorted out

I wish someone had told me some of the negatives (even though I suppose that's not the point of you attending!):
You can't go out for very long without your baby, unless you take a pump
It is tiring and takes a lot out of you
It is always the Mum that has to get up in the night, unless you manage to express enough milk or mix feed

I felt very ill-prepared for b/f even though I'd read up a fair bit.

Good luck & think it's great you're doing this.

[bramblina]

Fantastic, Miaou, the Fort needs it!
I was aware that a bad latch is painful, take baby off and start again etc but I didn't know why and had difficulty understanding that.
I was told to put the cream or jelonet on every time I finished feeding, even if I thought I didn't need it, and that was great advice.
When my ds was born, iirc most feeds in the hospital lasted 30-60 mins so I assumed that would be the norm, but the first day we were home (day 3) the feeds only seemed to last 10-20 mins and I was concerned, mw explained there's no right and wrong, a good indication is how settled the baby is after each feed (he slept 8 hrs the night he was born, and 6 hrs when we came home), knowing this before would have prevented a bit of worrying.
The day after he was born, a mw came to weigh him and he was sleeping, I said not to wake him as he was so settled and would wake soon anyway, he'd slept for 8 hrs, well I got an almighty telling off for not waking him, that I shouldn't let him sleep any longer than 6 hrs. Mw at home had not told me this, so then I got a bit worried but in the end he was absolutely just a contnted baby, and I wish I had been given the confidence to trust my instincts instead of feeling guilty. If babe's asleep, ime he's contented and he'll wake when he's hungry.
Loads more probably but can't think of them just now.

[CorrieDale]

I wish I'd been told about cluster feeding. For a while I thought he had colic, when he was only hungry.

[beartime]

Without looking at the rest of the thread, what I wish I'df been told about b/feeding before hand:

it's very painful whether you have good positioning or not cos you're not used to the sucking (everyone says its only painful if you're positioning is bad)

It gets better after the first 2 months

Its really fun and a great experience long term

Its very complicated so please get some phone numbers and stick them on your wall so you won't have to run around and find them when you're struggling to look after a newborn

Find a friend who breastfed who will let you ring them in the middle of the night

Don't listen to the people in hospital who say let them suck as long as they want to, cos if you let them go for an hour and a half like mine wanted to, you will get so sore you will want to give up

After about 45 mins they should have had all they wanted so you can take them off if you've had enough

Here are some recommmended books to have at hand when you come into problems... (still don't know what they are!)

Wake them to feed if they haven't woken after 3 hrs since the last feed in the first couple of weeks during the day or they might not eat enough and your supply might nit get stimulated enough (actually I did get told this and found it very helpful esp. as mine was jaundiced and never woke up for a feed apart from in the middle of the night!)

Try and feed them at least every 3 hrs during the day so that they are less likely to need food as much at night and you can get some sleep

Oh yeah and tell them to get lansinoh before the birth!

[beartime]

Also, before I had the baby I wondered why people had said to me ring me any time about breastfeeding - i thought what's the big deal, don't you just put them there and they feed? So a few case studies would have been helpful - like 'one example of a problem could be someone whose baby wasn't getting any milk out - and this is what you would do in that situation etc.' Maybe a handout for easy reference for after the birth of potential probs and solutions.

[Miaou]

Thank you everyone - this is so useful! I will print this thread off and make notes to refer to nearer the time.

Following on from a couple of points could you tell me -

1. If you encountered a problem who did you turn to for support (particularly professional)?
   

1. What was your lowest point and what was the cause of it?
   

Thank you folks

[Pruni]

Fantastic.
Not read thread, but I would have wanted to know that the hospital and medical professionals in general will (with a few exceptions) press you to give formula at the slightest hint of an 'anomaly', and that if you have to, then you should be prepared to spoon or syringe feed your newborn, if only for the psychological bolster it will give you in not worrying about nipple confusion later on.
Also, and tbh I've never found a seriously thorough analysis of this, what the hell do you do with a very sleepy jaundiced baby? Givent hat so many get jaundiced, a bit of a run-down of what that means might be good (perhaps a midwife to do this though).
Please talk about tongue-tie - say that if they feel the baby isn't latching on well, to have a quick look or get someone in to see if the baby is tongue-tied, and not to be fobbed off with the line that anyone can feed a tongue-tied baby. Mine is only slightly tongue-tied but it made a big difference and tbh I think I'd only have been able to partially bf him because he couldn't massage the breast enough to stimulate a really good supply. And that it's vvvv quick and easy to rectify (quick snip by dr).
And of course that a bf baby will want to feed in a completely different pattern to a ff one so not to listen to relatives etc who tut at how often the baby seems to need it and quality of milk etc.

[Littlefish]

I feel very strongly that I was not given the right sort of support by my GP.

Right from the start I knew that something was not right with my breastfeeding. One side was fine, but after two days (while still in hospital), I had a sore nipple on the other side - it's even on my hopital notes. I asked for help everytime I fed dd because she was a very sleepy baby, but sometimes felt that the midwives were impatient with me because they were completely overworked. I did all the skin to skin things suggested but she was very reluctant to latch on, and would come off again after a couple of minutes.

Over the next 3 weeks the soreness turned into agony and I developed a crack right across my nipple which then got infected. I saw a locum gp who gave me some antibiotic cream. It helped a bit, but everytime dd fed, the crack opened up again. I then started getting shooting pains in the same breast. My MW or HV (can't remember which) suggested it might be thrush. I saw the same locum GP who checked me and dd but said it wasn't thrush. All through this the pain of feeding was absolutely excrutiating and didn't get better while she was feeding. The real low point for me came when I then developed mastitis in the same breast. Not just a slight red patch, but the whole breast (and I'm a GG cup!). It was so bad that I was throwing up constantly and also couldn't lift my arm up to hold dd. I continued to try and feed dd on that side to help clear it. I then developed blisters all over the nipple because she hadn't been able to latch on properly due to engorgement and had just been sucking on the nipple.

I saw my GP and was given antibiotics. In desperation I asked him what would happen if I gave up (ie. what would it feel like for my breasts). At no point did he suggest I contact a midwife, LLL, NCT or offer any support. He answered exactly the question I asked, but nothing more.

I really didn't want to give up, but just couldn't see past the terrible pain I was in. I was also starting to dread dd waking up, because I knew it meant I would have to feed her.

I had attended NCT classes while I was pregnant, but after dd's birth, and during all the breast feeling problems I was in such a low state emotionally that I just couldn't even ask for help. I had phoned the local midwife led unit before the mastitis, but they only held breastfeeding clubs once a week and did not offer any kind of home visiting service.

I gave up after about 3 and a half weeks and am still wracked with guilt about it. My dd is now 17 months old and I still get upset when I think about it. Breastfeeding was something I was positive I wanted to do. I knew all about the health benefits for both mother and child, and more importantly, the bond I wanted to develop with my child through breastfeeding.

Giving dd that first bottle was one of the worst feelings of my life, but I still didn't know how to ask for help.

I think that if my gp had been able to offer me better support, or at least encouraged me to keep going long enough to seek support from someone else, then I would have carried on.

Dd is likely to be my only child and I feel really cheated.

[Littlefish]

Sorry for the mammoth post Miaou - I'm not sure I've really helped you at all, but it's been quite cathartic for me to get it off my chest!

[starlover]

1. If you encountered a problem who did you turn to for support (particularly professional)?
   

I was given "support" by the midwives in the hospital, all of whom gave me conflicting advice and didn't help at all.
When out of hospital I spoke to the midwife and health visitor who were useless. and I went to a baby cafe and saw an LLL lady

1. What was your lowest point and what was the cause of it?
   

having to give up breastfeeding. I never had a pain free feed. I dreaded every feed. Was diagnosed with thrush several times and treated to not avail.
I suspect now that ds is in fact slightyl tongue tied as he could never latch on properly... i had to hold his head in place or he'd just fall off!!!