Help me persevere with BF

(14 Posts)
thedicewoman Fri 04-Jan-13 07:20:33

I. felt exactly the same and kept telling myself that I'd just do it for one more week, I think it suddenly got easier at about 6/7 weeks and no-one is more astounded than me that I'm still going at 13 weeks. I couldn't believe how much harder I found it second time round.

I have introduced some bottle feeds which I think has helped my sanity, and enabled me to keep going. the 6pm feed and any night feeds are all now formula which means I can get some sleep on occasion which definitely helps!

Gingerbreadlatte Fri 04-Jan-13 07:09:12

Congratulations on coming so far.

This is all normal and part of BF ing being established. Regular feeding in these early days is about building your supply so hang in there. I wouldn't say it was cluster feeding if he is feeding every hour- it's just frequent.

Get help for the party and don't attempt do it by yourself. Are you really having a 2 yr old party at home with a newborn ? ???!!! Any chance you can delegate the organising and do it offsite as it were? Make it easy for yourself and remember that your Ds1 won't really care about having a big party at that age!

I'm on dc2 and am 8 wks in. It gets better I promise. As does the the guilt about Dc1. You will slowly feel able to do more but I know how hard it is at this stage. Hang on there!!!

GirlOutNumbered Fri 04-Jan-13 02:30:26

I felt the same, I just gave myself mini targets. Like, I must BF for 1 week, then it was 10 days, 2 weeks etc, then all of a sudden it was 16 weeks!
I was actually thinking of ways to reduce milk supply so I could use a bottle and then it all fell into place. Now I am sat doing the night feed typing with one hand! smile

Margie32 Thu 03-Jan-13 22:52:01

Thank you all so much for replying - I felt a bit overwhelmed earlier but I will try my best to persevere and hope that things get better. Tomorrow I'll put DS2 in a sling as you suggest GirlON and I'll try to find a local bf support group (I don't live in the UK so not sure how easy it'll be). I'm going to get DS2 weighed tomorrow to check he's putting on weight but he's producing plenty of dirty nappies so I think he's eating enough. My brother and SIL will be here for DS1's party so hopefully they'll be able to help me out.

I feel a bit ridiculous feeling so at a loss when it's only been 2 years since DS1 was a newborn...

SquidgersMummy Thu 03-Jan-13 21:26:10

Congrats - I also was feeding all day at this point - honestly it will pass - in the meantime can you Internet order what you need for dc1's party, use a sling, leave large flask of tea and tray of high energy food on sofa in easy reach and put out a post re entertainment ideas re dc1 - I remember reading some fab ideas once on childbirth forum of ways to entertain a toddler fm the sofa - blowing bubbles to catch and that sort of thing. It will pass and it will be sooo much easier in the long run with no bottles to prepare and heat - and you'll get more sleep - which are all in dc1's interest. Can you call in some favours in helping you get the party sorted? Hugs x

GirlOutNumbered Thu 03-Jan-13 21:20:24

It will get better - it really really will. I read a fantastic article (which I cant find to link too) which listed all the benefits of breastfeeding for certain amounts of time. It bought a tear to my eye knowing what I had done for my little boy and what I am doing for my second little man.

I put DS2 in a sling and he seems to settle easily in there, spent 4 weeks just walking round with him, constantly on me.

The time goes so quickly, I am 16 weeks in now and BFing has been a walk in the park for ages!!

Well done for getting this far! BFing is so hard! My DD had the same at around the same time and I ended up just plonked in the sofa and going with it. Didn't have a toddler to contend with tho. It does get better though, I promise! DD is 10 weeks old now and still managing to bfeed her despite many meltdowns.

Mitsouko Thu 03-Jan-13 19:37:14

Could you put DS2 in a wrap sling? Then he can nurse and snooze while you get out and about with DS1. You'll still have baby attached but will be hands free and mobile. Congratulations BTW!

3 weeks is classic growth spurt time but I second Ameybees suggestion of visiting a local bf group (you can take ds1 with you). Our local bf groups and clinincs are more like a coffee morning with either peer supporters, MWs, MCA's or lactation consultants there to help.

nillynoon Thu 03-Jan-13 18:10:39

At this age, he will cluster feed all day, it will pass, I promise

PoppyWearer Thu 03-Jan-13 17:55:43

Can you express some milk early in the day when your supply is good and introduce a bottle (given by your OH) at your DC1's bath/bedtime so he gets some mummy-time then, when your supply will be depleted?

I started a bottle (actually ff) at bedtime with my DC2 and it a) left me confident he was getting enough milk from me during the day/night and b) gave me a bit of flexibility especially with my DC1. I had ebf DC1 and enjoyed feeding DC2 much more this way, got to 15 months with bf'ing this time.

Good luck!

Ameybee Thu 03-Jan-13 17:49:31

Do you have a local bf support group you could get to for advice? I had similar problems & DS is now 15 weeks (DD is 3) and I'm combined feeding and finding it much easier. Its early days for you & baby, things may settle down soon as LO's tummy gets bigger and they take a bigger feed. Xxxx

Congratulations!
Is he weeping pooing and putting on weight?
Have you had any help with your latch. Gaps of n hour between feeds all day seems to me to be on the high end of normal but I suspect it is normal if all else is ok

Margie32 Thu 03-Jan-13 17:45:45

My DS2 is 3 wks old and I really want to EBF for at least 4 months if I can. However, I'm finding it a real struggle and today I seriously considered giving him a bottle, although I didn't. I feel like he's never satisfied, I can give him what I consider to be a full feed and an hour or so later he's asking for more. It's like he's cluster feeding all day. I don't feel a letdown and I never know when my breasts are empty, so I don't really know how long to keep him on each breast for, or when to switch sides.

But by far the worst consequence of this is how much time I'm not spending with DS1, who's only 2. He now sees his mummy with a baby permanently attached to her, which makes it virtually impossible to play with him, take him to the park, read him a bedtime story, etc. He's being really good about it but I feel like I'm constantly palming him off onto other people, and it's breaking my heart. It's his birthday party on Monday and I'm already worrying about how I'm going to get out of the house to get all the food we need and how I'm going to get everything organised (cake made, house tidied) if I'm feeding all day.

I lost all confidence when bf DS1 because he wasn't putting on weight and ended up mixed feeding until 4 months when I switched to ff. I would really like to avoid doing the same with DS2 but I don't know how to make things better.

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