MAY BOOK OF THE MONTH DISCUSSION NIGHT - post your questions for the author here, and join this thread on Tuesday 27th May for bookclub chat

[TillyBookClub]

This is the thread to come to for May Book of the Month discussion night, where we'll be getting to grips with Orange Prize shortlister When WE Were Bad by Charlotte Mendelson.

Charlotte can't join us on the night due to a prior engagement, but she is very happy to answers our questions in advance. Can everyone post their questions up here and I'll send on to Charlotte on Thursday 23rd May. Then I'll put all her answers up on Tuesday for the discussion night.

so, anything you want to ask, put it right here as soon as you can...

[fryalot]

hi tilly.

Just started the book last night, so I will have finished it by next Tuesday.

But... I am travelling down to my mum's on the Tuesday so I may not make it for the discussion (hopefully I won't still be stuck on the blardy motorway again, but you never know)

How are you? congratulations on the birth of your little boy. Do we get to see a picture?

[TillyBookClub]

Hi squonk, fingers crossed you make it but no worries if not - would be great if you could pop a question or two up sometime next week and I'll send on to author.

All well with me - I'm having a lovely time of it second time round, but then I'm in the sun-packed countryside at my in-laws beautiful house and my husband still on paternity leave so reality hasn't exactly bitten just yet. We go back to town on Tuesday and then its just me and two small ones from dawn till dusk. Thank God there's another Bank Holiday coming up.

We've managed to leave our camera (plus every other useful item) back in London but pic coming as soon as we're back...

The name debate still rages. Its either Atticus or Harrison, but not sure which. Reckon I can do a Mumsnet Poll?

[fryalot]

the book-lovers will go with Atticus, the film-goers Harrison.

Do a poll anyway, see what the verdict is

[billybass]

Congratulations Tilly on your new baby son.

[sophiewd]

My vote is for Atticus, will think of some questions.

[strawberrylace]

looking forward to the discussion and will try and think of some questions. Congrats on your new baby Tilly - those are both fab names, esp as from my fave book and fave films! Hope you can decide...

[Notyummy]

Having just finished the book, I was wondering how much of the emotional difficulties encountered by the characters was down to the setting (a religious home), and how much was down to human nature and behaviour and could occur in any household with a strong/domineering mother?

[TillyBookClub]

I think it might be better to wait until we've had our discussion and send questions afterwards, as Cahrlotte is off to France today and won't be back till next WEdnesday. So keep thinking, and we'll compile a list on Tuesday evening. Looking forward to seeing you all then.

And in case you were wondering what has happened to June's poll, I'm just having a few tecchie problems - should have it ready by tomorrow...

[TillyBookClub]

Hi all
Hurrying to put my thoughts up here while baby is not feeding...

I thought the book did a brilliant job of being very warm but also sharp and observant. I felt affectionate towards all the characters even with their faults and the big mess they were making of their family life.

I wondered if its ever in a family's interests to try and hide your true feelings, or whether honesty is always the best policy. Do you have to be more brutally honest with your family than with anyone else?

Claudia is very powerful yet I still couldn't quite understand why everyone remained in her thrall. Is her behaviour what they call passive-aggressive?

The tension between the outward perfection of the family and the inner mess was very clever - i think mothers do that all the time, wanting to show the best face to the world and unable to let the guard down.

I found this Guardian interview quite interesting, if anyone fancies reading it...

[sophiewd]

How are you getting on Tilly?

I am not sure how sympathetic I can be towards Claudia as she was so controlling and her younger 2 were just awful. I loved the book and again the back cover blurb did not do it justice.

[strawberrylace]

Hello!
I totally agree about your outward perfection/inner mess point Tilly. And was symptomatic of Claudia's need to control everything.
I also thought it was such an accurate portrayal of what's expected of children in birth order - ie the eldest are supposed to be reliable, whilst the youngest get away with everything! Apologies to all youngest children everywhere, but its definitely how things have turned out in my family!

[billybass]

Hello everyone.I really loved the book,I really warmed to Frances and the others but I also was maddened by them in equal measure.

[sophiewd]

Agree with you strawberry lace, my younger sister gets away with murder, but I have always been expected to tow the line.

[sophiewd]

I felt so sorry for Frances, 'arranged marriage' and thought that she was suffering badly from PND, but could be mistaken.

[TillyBookClub]

I'm a youngest and i'm HUGELY responsible...but I do get treated like a baby by the rest of the family, even when i have two of my own. That's what I loved aobut this book, that sense of recognition even though the family is extreme.

The two youngest were dreadful, so awful that I wondered how on earth the family had got that far without combusting. It feels like that's Claudia's fault but then where was Norman?

Claudia was overwhelming, was that because of her own sense of survival, or a genuine extrovert love of food/family/giving, or was she just a bit of a control freak? Did her fame bamboozle her children - would they have been the same to her if she wasn't famous and successful?

[lemurtamer]

I really enjoyed the book, though didn't find Claudia or the two younger children very convincing, I don't know if it was because they were unpleasant, but I felt they were rather caricatures.

[billybass]

Control freaks are a bit fragile though, maybe her family knew that Claudia wasn't that strong?

I thought Claudia was really cold. Did everyone else feel this?

[TillyBookClub]

sophiewd, I read a review somewhere that says Frances is suffering from PND - but that she realises her feelings towards her husband are worse than those towards her baby so she knows she has to leave him instead. He was truly dreadful, wasn't he - a lot of the things he said made me laugh out loud.

I liked Frances but I wasn't 100% convinced about her lesbian conversion, and really not convinced she was going to end up with the vicar. I liked her conversion to someone who knew their own mind, especially her retreat to the funny hotel with copies of Pride and Prejudice and all her comfort reading.

[TillyBookClub]

Yes, i found Claudia cold. I found her convincing as a character apart from this 'irresistible' thing tht keeps everyone enthralled. Couldn't see what was so attractive about her really.

[billybass]

I really liked sim though. He at least did his own thing in his own way.

[sophiewd]

I also felt sorry for Norman, his role according to Claudia was that of back up her support system and the fact that he was so scared of telling her about his success, says an awful lot about her controlling nature. She was definitely a force to be reckoned with.

[lemurtamer]

Norman really came to life towards the end. I thought the author captured Leo's passion very well, for example Helen sitting next to him at the Seder "absolutely naked but for her clothes".

[TillyBookClub]

Agree about Norman, although don't you think Claudia probably was the way she was becuase everyone treated her that way? They never stood up to her, so she believed that everyone was happy.

I think Claudia lost me at the beginning because her reaction to leo's affair was 'it makes me look crap' rather than 'I'm worried whether you're doing the right thing'. Its a rpofoundly un-motherly thing to think, isn't it?

And do we think that everyone really 'blames the mother' for her son bolting at the altar?

[strawberrylace]

tilly - i think the irrestible thing about claudia must be her position as a powerful figure in the community. think of all those frankly unattractive politicians who have affairs - its not looks, its the charisma of power... what's intersting and unusual here is that the powerful person is a woman, which you don't often see.
i didn't really like claudia either
(apols for lack of capitals - am typing one handed!)

[billybass]

I thought claudias reaction to frances when she came to pick up baby max was very un-motherly too.The contrast with Normans reaction to his lost daughter was striking