Marking out the safety of my 10 year old girl?

[Gezza1234]

Hi,
I am a doting dad of a 10 year old girl, Kathy. We live in very small community, where there are no girls her age in the neighborhood. For the last year my girl has bonded with a 9 year old boy. He comes from, what most would call a good family. Boys in the area are slightly older, more ruff and tumble than him, and they seem to have shunned him, perhaps as too "delicate". My daughter likes to play with him almost every day. Mostly it is outdoors, but on colder days he frequently invites her to his house, where they play for hours, supervised only loosely by a nanny, as both his parents work. He seems reluctant to want to play in our house, where we apparently do not have nice enough toys.My daughter seems quite cheerful returning home, describing the activities in general words i.e. "we played a board game", or "were on his computer". My question, to any one will to share knowledge, how can I safeguard that she is not exposed to any sexually inappropriate behavior at the hands of that boy, without raising an unnecessary alarm or creating a problem out of nothing.

Any advise is most appreciated,

Cautious Dad

[BertieBotts]

You can talk to her about appropriate boundaries and in a general way about what she should do if anybody tries to get past those boundaries. There is some helpful guidance on the NSPCC website.

I can't see anything you've posted which you should be worried about, though.

[OldLadyKnowsSomething]

Do you mean that the 9yo boy may sexually assault your dd, (unlikely) or that they might, together, look at inappropriate materials online? (Much more of a worry)

I think, given you're in a small community, it would be a good idea for you (and your dd's mother, if she's around) to get to know the boy and his family (including the nanny) a lot better. Then you can assess whether their idea of online safety is on a par with your own, or make gentle suggestions about how to keep kids safe online.

Your daughter is happy enough atm, if she was having bad experiences this would most likely be reflected in her demeanour and behaviour.

[RaisingMightyGirls]

I'm a mother of three daughters (age 3, 6 and 10). I'm also entering that stage of when to approach certain topics with my 10 year old.

If I was in your situation, I would definitely invite the boy's parents to my house for a coffee but be open about why they are being invited. In other words, 'I think it would be a good idea to get to know each better as our children spend so much time together'. You may find that his parents will welcome the invitation and are experiencing the same concerns.

Hope this helps.

//www.raisingmightygirls.blogspot.co.uk

[RaisingMightyGirls]

I'm a mother of three daughters (age 3, 6 and 10). I'm also entering that stage of when to approach certain topics with my 10 year old.

If I was in your situation, I would definitely invite the boy's parents to my house for a coffee but be open about why they are being invited. In other words, 'I think it would be a good idea to get to know each better as our children spend so much time together'. You may find that his parents will welcome the invitation and are experiencing the same concerns.

Hope this helps.

//www.raisingmightygirls.blogspot.co.uk

[DiaDuit]

how can I safeguard that she is not exposed to any sexually inappropriate behavior at the hands of that boy

can you clarify what you mean by this please? and do you also intend to safeguard that this boy wont be exposed to any sexually inappropriate behaviour at the hands of your daughter?

[ElephantsNeverForgive]

Sorry trying not to laugh, by 10 DD1 would have had a far better idea of sexually inappropriate behaviour, than her lovely, but rather nieve 9yo male best friend.

I really do wonder what the OP is worried about.