Ok so I've NEVER opened up to anyone before but I feel so low :( here's my story..
My parents divorced when I was 6, my mum was already with her new husband, me and him have never got on, we've had fights where I've ended up in hospital with concussion when I was 12, since the age of 7 I've suffered with tics, I was diagnosed with ADHD at 14 too, i never had vocal tics when I was young it was always eye rolling and jaw stretching.
I got kicked out of school at 14 and got put in a pupil referal unit, and mind you yes I was a rude gobby brat sometimes but I would ALWAYS cry at night because I've never felt like I fit in or like I could help myself, in school I would always want to be with the 'popular groups' but never fit it with them, people would always ask 'why do you do that' about my tics and it made me feel so low :(
Me and my mum have never had a real mother daughter relationship, I've always been a daddy's girl, and this has really affected my tics because I've always wanted to be with her how my brothers and sisters are (I have 5 siblings)
At 15 I started talking to a friend of the family, he understood how I felt and eventually we got together, the problem was he's 21. After a year of being together I fell pregnant. I know everybody reading this will think 'oh my god' but all I've ever wanted was to be loved.
I was shocked at first but I knew what I was going to do, I wanted to achieve something other than being kicked out of school and being kicked out of the groups between my friends, and what's more rewarding than being a mum right? I got a Job in a local hairdressers a few months before I fell pregnant and I bought absolutely everything myself, I had help from my dad with the cot and my baby's dad bought the buggy but all the bottles bouncers sterilisers etc you name it I bought it, I would spend hours at night making checklists of what I had to buy my baby, I would go into town and buy things on the way home from school.
When I turned 16 I had my beautiful baby boy, he is now 4 months old and I couldn't be any happier. I finished all my exams In May this year and am planning on going to college next September, I dream of being a midwife!
Me and my boyfriend have argued a lot since our baby was born, he's cheated on me a lot In the past ( with my cousin) and has lied to me a lot about smoking weed :/ before I was pregnant I used to smoke a lot and drink and leave home and be any parents nightmare! But the day I saw that positive test I never smoked a single cigarette since.
I mainly lived at my mums when I had my baby, but after 3 months she kicked me out because of an Arguement with me and my step dad because he didn't like baby stuff everywhere!
I havnt spoke to my mum in 4 weeks and I'm dying to have that relationship :( she text me and asked me to meet her for a coffee but not in the house and there's already my stepdads friend living in my old room :/
Lately my tics have got so bad everyone notices, I don't go anywhere I haven't been out with my friends in 13 months :( I'm desperate for a cure for my tics (it's a constant throat clearing sound) I've heard magnesium works???
I have saved a thousand pounds since my baby was born to save for a flat deposit, I'm desperate to be a family and have my own space, I want the best for my son because nothing makes me happier, my boyfriend always lies and says silly things in our arguements and just sets us back so much, he always promises he won't lie to me again and it never happens :(
I love my baby's dad more than he will ever know and I know he loves me too, I just wish it was simpler :(
I'm sorry for the long post girls I just needed to open up a bit, I'm desperate for help :( x x x
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Vocal tics in young mums
14 replies
summer456 · 08/07/2014 23:19
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