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I have been sitting at my Dad'd bedside at the hospital for a wee while and yesterday afternoon, while cradled in my arms, he slipped away.
During the time we had left, I told him how loved he was, what a wonderful Grandfather to his grandchildren who adored him and read him lovely words that my Mother had written to him in a letter I found that she had written to him years before.
Mum died 20 years ago and I asked her help to take Dad to the Light and that I was ready to let him go to her care and love. Just seconds before Dad took his last breath, the most beautiful smile shone across his face - almost as if he was seeing someone he had not seen for a long time - and he passed away.
I feel as if I was deeply honoured to have shared in such a profoundly spiritual experience. I feel happy to have held Dad's hand as he was taken by the other hand to a far more beautiful and peaceful place.
Oh gentleotter - I'm so sorry for your loss. I held my father's hand as he died, and you're right, it is an honour. I hope being able to support him as he left you will be a comfort in the months to come. Take care.
What you have written is beautiful and has moved me greatly. I am glad that you can take comfort in this way and am sure you must have many happy memories.xxx take care
Oh that is so sad and wonderful at the same time. It really touched a chord with me because it sounds like exactly when my mum died , I told her to go towards the light where my dad was (dad had died years before) I don't know why I said it , it just sort of came to me. I never understood what people meant when they used to say it was a lovely death but I did then.
You are right it is a deeply spiritual experience and I am so glad you got to share it with him.
I'm sorry for your loss and i'm glad you were there for him. I am in tears now as it's bought back memories for me of losing someone i dearly loved. Knowing you were there for him will bring you some peace in the coming wks and months - i know it gave me some comfort.
That was so beautifully written I have tears in my eyes (and reminded me to tell DH to pop in and see his very poorly 95year old Nan in hospital on his way home from work)
You are in my thoughts. it is 8 years to the day that we turned off the ventilator that was keeping my father alive. I too held his hand whilst he died.
I miss him so much and he would have been the best grandad in the world.
So sorry for your loss. My Dad died in july and i could not get home in time. Not a day goes by when i don't imagine what his passing was like. What a comforting memory you will have to help you through the coming days.
I'm so sorry for your loss, and hope you take comfort from those precious last few moments with your dear Dad. Thank you for posting your tribute to him.
So sorry for your loss Gentleotter. I am glad you were there with him at the end.
My dear Nan died 13 days ago and some days are much easier than others. I take comfort from the fact that she is at peace and pain free now. I still miss her like mad though.
I am so sorry for your loss. What you have written is so beautiful you moved me to tears. I wish you much strength and peace as you cope with your grief.
GentleOtter, I am so sorry for your loss. Your post was beautiful and I am so glad your father had his lovely daughter with him at the end. Peace and love at this very sad time xxx
Som sorry for your loss and am so pleased that you have such a nice memory to hold on to. My Dad died last year and I wasn't there- out of choice- but I often wonder if I should have been.
Take care of yourself and good luck with the funeral.
a beautiful smile would spread over your fathers face with such a lovely daughter by his side, what a joy you must have been to have as a daughter - a daughter he must have been so very very proud.
I am so sorry for your loss and somehow I hope you can ind some peace
I too have sat with both my parents as they slipped away and knowing I was there has brought me immense comfort through the years, I hope it does for you. xxx
Oh Gentleotter, your post has me in tears, I'm so very sorry for your loss but pleased that you were able to share such a moment with him. He will be at peace and his last moments were so special. xxx
for you otter. I lost my Dad 3.5 years ago and was lucky to be with him at the end. It is a great comfort to have been there. I'm feeling quite chocked reading your beautiful post. Lovely.
what a lovely thread...although obviously so sorry for your loss. My Dad passed away this July...I was on holiday at the time and the hospital failed to inform my Mum that Dad was on his way out so he died alone.Thankfully,you were with your Dad when he passed over.I was very close to my Dad but strangely enough,I don't feel the "need" to cry...although sometimes I want to IFYWIM...because I can see his smile and his laughter and that's what keeps me going.I'm thinking of you.x
That's a beautiful post otter. I don't think your father could have wished for a better exit. I held my fathers hand when he died, almost 15 years ago.
Gosh, what a raw bewildering time it is between the passing and trying to arrange the funeral. Having to be brave and organised - the latter never one of my strong points - The hardest part is going in to the rest home with a warm jumper and cozy socks for Dad as I don't want him to feel cold.
My (estranged) brother is making life a nightmare and has made umpteen phonecalls about the will fgs, culminating in screaming abusive calls, swearing and frightening me. I feel it is a grossly insensitive and shockingly greedy thing that he is doing.
Needless to say, he is not interested in helping with the funeral.
I'm feeling numb and terribly tired. We still have to go and feed all the sheep and cattle and the children are being very boisterous.
Your words of comfort have meant an awful lot to me and I want to thank you all for taking the time to have written. x
Oh Gentleotter, have just seen this. Your post is beautiful. Your father was lucky to have such a wonderful and caring daughter. Sorry that your brother is causing you problems.
What a lovely post, gentleotter, I'm so glad your dad had such a peaceful end. My mum died in the 30 minutes of the day that I went home to see to the animals and it has always bothered me that I wasn't there with her at the end.
Agree that this time before the funeral is a very strange period. I really just wanted the funeral all over so I could do my grieving in peace. It sounds like your brother is being a pain- not what you need at all. You sound like a strong person, though, so I'm sure you will be ok- just remember to take some time to look after yourself, your own needs and feelings- it can be far too easy to get caught up in everyone else's. All the best Jx
Jooly - 20 years ago when my Mum was ill, I sat with her day and night, not realising that she was going to die. She was only 54. She had been in a coma for quite a while but 'came to' and told me she had been in a beautiful place and had been with her mother and others who had passed long ago.
She told me that she had come back to ask me if I would let her go with them and that she had no fear as she wanted to go with them willingly. She spoke of a beautiful Light and how she was going to go through a little gate that was held open for her.
I too had gone away for a quick break and she chose that time to slip away. I firmly believe that sometimes those who we loved do not want us to see their passing, almost a way of protecting us from feeling sad or bereft. It is an intensely intimate moment, like a birth almost; I believe my Mum felt free to go without my restraint.
Please do not regret not being there because you were there in soul just as our loved ones are there in soul when we need them.
Thank you, gentleotter- that was really lovely. I did chat to my mum about dying a couple of weeks before her death- she knew it was coming, and, like your mum, she had had a "near death" experience a few months previously, so she said that she wasn't scared of dying- she knew it would be fine, she was just scared of any pain in the lead-up to it. That did help a bit, and I do believe that she deliberately waited until I was gone, so I have to trust that that was somehow what she wanted.
Your post has really struck a cord with me. Thank you.
What beautiful words Otter, but I am sorry you have lost your Dad.
I too believe some people need 'permission' to pass over and others need to be on their own.
The time between the passing and the funeral is a very odd time. There can be grief and relief, but this odd mixture takes its toll and leaves you with a tiredness that no amount of sleep will cure.
I totally understand about the warm clothes, we done the same for ds.
I'm so sorry you have to deal with your brothers behaviour as well, as if you don't have enough going on already.
Nothing else to say that hasn't been said gentleotter but I couldn't read and not post. Your words moved me greatly, I am so glad you could give your mum and dad what they needed as they passed away.
((((((Gentleotter))))) What an intensely beautiful post that was. I understand where you are coming from exactly and hope that your family don't sour what was a very intimate and spiritual time between you and your father. My dad died ten years ago this December, and, although my experience was more like that which you had when when your mother died - he slipped away when I briefly left the room - I recognise the sense of serenity you felt when he passed on. My relationship with my father was a difficult one and he was an incredibly insecure and fearful man - his biggest fear being death. Yet, somehow, in his last few days, as he accepted his fate, I saw him transformed to a man more at peace in his final hours than I ever remember him being when in full health. He was on morphine for his final 24 hours, but, just before he succumbed to the drug, he, very calmly, announced that 'they' had told him it was 'time to go' and he was ready. This from a man who was highly cynical about life after death etc. Once the morphine kicked in, my mum and I sat up all of his final night listening to him 'hallucinate'. It was, dare I say, fascinating as his ramblings began to regress further and further back into his life as if his 'tape' was on rewind. Mum and I even found ourselves giggling on several occasions when we recognised funny incidents he was reliving. He finally slipped into incoherence after he had regressed into making sucking sounds like a baby on the breast. The following morning, we all sat around, held his hand and told him how much we loved him and would miss him. He chose the moment to leave when we had all left the room, just for a moment - and I believe for the same reasons GentleOtter does about her mum's passing.
It's going to be a rollercoaster, sweetheart, over the next days, months, years, but, like you, I beleive that you are truly honoured and priveleged to share this sad yet beautiful moment. My fondest thoughts to you and your family.
Your words will bring lots of comfort to many on this site who read them Otter.
It must be so hard because although you know that your parents are in a beautiful place, you miss them dreadfully and wish for their wisdom and counsel at a time such as this.
Feel pity for your brother who has not experienced the wonderful things you have, who is unable to open his heart to accept peoples kindness, gentleness and support. Your parents must be very proud of you - your warmth radiates through these posts.
Yesterday, 20 years to the day since losing Mum, we buried Dad beside her.
It was a traditional funeral in the tiny ancient church that my family have been attending for generations and many of the villagers who looked after me when I was little were there to offer support.
I truly felt as if my heart was going to break when the piper played "The Flowers of the Forest" as we lowered Dad to his final resting place....
My wish for both my parents is one of happiness and peace; that they have transcended the everyday things we have to go through and all the pain; their souls are free to fly.
I want to thank all of you very much for your words of comfort and encouragement which really have helped me get through a difficult time.
My Dad passed away this July...I was on holiday at the time and the hospital failed to inform my Mum that Dad was on his way out so he died alone.Thankfully,you were with your Dad when he passed over.I was very close to my Dad but strangely enough,I don't feel the "need" to cry...although sometimes I want to IFYWIM...because I can see his smile and his laughter and that's what keeps me going.I'm thinking of you.x 
