Sent her some flowers a while ago but what else would be appropriate? She has stomach cancer so probably not a foodie gift, & anyway, it gives my dad pleasure seeking out things she will eat.

What about hunting down a cd/dvd of her favourite movie or music?
A facial/pamper session?
Taking her to see a play/opera/classical music that she likes?

Thanks Phantom - great minds!

I did favourite DVDs for her birthday and she and dad are part of a theatre/concerts club & go to shows two or three times a month.

The pampering idea I'll pursue - I need to find out what she already has done through my dad, although I'm not sure he knows!

I was wondering if there was something she would take comfort in reading?

Is there a play she really wants to see or see again rather than one that's just on. If she likes Cats then you could take her a bit further afield to see that maybe? A book could be nice if she's a reader.

What about clubbing together with some others and sending them for a meal on the Orient Express (they should be able to cater for her if they know what she's able to eat.)

Trip in a hot air balloon and a picnic? Cold but fun. Helicopter ride?

Not being funny, but I have a close friend who is terminally ill with cancer and I bought her a book on funeral planning - it's really positive - about doing it your own way, and she really appreciated it and it gave her a project. (I was a bit too but honestly she said she was hoping someone would be brave enough to broach the subject and it let her start talking about her fears etc.).

Otherwise have you considered something like aromatherapy - even in hospitals during treatment you can have your aromatherapy oils and make your room smell like 'your place' instead of a sterile cold environment.

Pampering sounds good - massage/reflexology/acupuncture

w/e away with your dad.

do you get on well? If so maybe a letter saying why she is a good step mum

Hope that you are doing OK too. are you close?

Thanks for asking Noonki & thanks too to you, 29 & Phantom for the ideas. By consensus, pampering and maybe a book is the way to go. She's travelled to see the people she needs to see & she has her adult son & good friends around her.

I feel a bit awkward because we're not emotionally close - or geographically - but she is important to my dad and she therefore is important to me. My brother doesn't quite share the same opinion but he's cordial. This is the 2nd time for my dad, my mother also died of cancer, but thankfully medically things have moved on since then, so SM's living with the cancer iyswim.

a nice photo album ? Could be something for her to do and will be nice to keep.
Anything with lavender in it, we had pieces of lavender inside steves pillow, it's good for relaxing.
Massage creams/oils, we used bodyshops bodybutters as they smell very nice and the smell lingers.

Could you do a dvd of photos of the children with music etc.