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My DH passed away suddenly on Thursday 26 June, there has to be a post mortem and I cannot bring him home until the coroner releases his body. I am struggling to realise that he is gone, as I have been unable to go and see him owing to distance from home and mortuary being closed at weekend. Mum and brother are here, am getting amazing support from them, my 3 children and so many friends. I am finding it hard at night and getting up very early not wanting to wake others but feel need to chat.
Oh God Evenstar I am so so sorry. I don't know what to say, of course. What a horrendous shock. I do hope that you can visit your husband in the mortuary soon.
My thoughts are with you and I'm sure those of many other MNers will be when they start to come online.
I am hoping to bring him home early this week, wonderful kind lady at Coroner's office said they will call me and let me have him home just as soon as they can. Am having so much support in RL but don't want to wake others, we are all in shock and need sleep.
I feel there is so little I can say that is helpful. But I do clearly remember visiting my mother at the undertakers to say goodbye, and it will be all the more valuable for you when you see your husband, because of the suddenness of his death. I can only begin to imagine how difficult to deal with that suddeness must be.
It is worrying me that he is alone if you understand what I mean. He went without me but I am told that it was instant, we believe a massive heart attack, and he would have known nothing about it. I broke down last night because my brother's mother-in-law is having a Mass said for the repose of his soul, and I was so glad because I keep thinking it is like he may be lost somewhere.
Sorry to hear about this Evenstar. I hope you will be able to see him soon. Glad to hear you have some good RL support, and there's always someone on MN for the antisocial hours!
I'm so sorry. It must be hard to make it real if you were not there at the time too - I hope you can see him soon. I also hope that the support around you continues as long as you need it. How are your children doing? Thinking of you.
Evenstar - I am so, so sorry for your loss. I pray that God will give you strength to get through the next few days, it sounds like you have a wonderful, loving family and I pray they will always find the right ways to give you comfort.
evenstar, so, so sorry. How far away is he? You may have lots of RL help around you but you/your children may need some professional help too - is there someone that can set the ball rolling for you?
Evenstar - I am so sorry to hear about the sudden loss of your DH. I will be thinking of you. You will get lots of support from RL and from all here on MN.
We had our ds laid to rest at home and I can't tell you what a comfort that was for us. We could see him and talk to him whenever we wanted to, which made letting him go at the funeral that tiny bit easier. So, I hope you can bring your dh home as soon as possible.
The early waking will probably carry on for a while (I don't think the brain shuts off properly when you are experiencing this level of grief), but it does get better.
I wish a safe and peaceful journey to your husband, and much love and strength to you and your dc for the coming months.
I'm sorry for your loss, Evenstar. Like others here, I'll hold you, your DH and your family in my thoughts. I wish you strength and love and I hope you are able to bring him home soon.
I hope that the funeral is peaceful and helps you and the children with his most awful loss.
x
Horrifically practical note, do you know that your are probably entitled to a £2000 non means tested grant if your husband was under 60 and had paid his 'stamp'? I know tht it is vile to raise this but I also know just how expensive this terrible time can be. Please forgive my lack of tact
I hope that the funeral is peaceful and helps you and the children with his most awful loss.
x
Horrifically practical note, do you know that your are probably entitled to a £2000 non means tested grant if your husband was under 60 and had paid his 'stamp'? I know tht it is vile to raise this but I also know just how expensive this terrible time can be. Please forgive my lack of tact
Am welling up reading this how have the children taken it? Don't be afraid to cry in front of them. A big group hug and crying session is probably what you all need right now.
Evenstar, sorry to hear your news. Hope you and your kids (I gather they're teenagers from your profile) are able to give each other some support through this terrible shock. Good luck with the claim too.
so so very sorry to hear your husband has died and so suddenly too, I hope that you get to see him very soon, you will still be in shock and feeling disbelieve as well as all the other stuff, going to see him will make things more real for you all. How are the children? I see your youngest is the same age as my Ds. Sleeping and eating are both difficult and idont know how to sort those out. I am a bit rubbish at knowing what to say but know that on MN you are never alone. if you want to talk via email/ phone/Msn do let me know. sending gentle hugs to you all.
i am so sorry to hear of your loss evenstar i couldnt possibly understand how you must be feeling but i hope coming on here and havinhg someone to just listen will bring you some comfort in knowing you dont have to do this alone all my best wishes to you and your family
i may not have advise to give but i have 2 ears always willing to listen hugs to you all xxxxx
Poor poor you. I was talking about this to a neighbour recently. My father just died (on a Friday afternoon which means we couldn't even fix things like the funeral date until the Tuesday (bank hol on the Monday) and saying how much worse it is with someone you has a spouse and young children - someone whose funeral she was recently at - compared with someone my father's age whom you expect to die.
The fact it is so sudden must be worse too.
Also I found (it's the first time I have to handle a death) that the number of tasks you are expected to do are huge all at the same time and quite quickly too to organise a funeral etc. we had to sign forms to get him buried on his famkly burial plot and 1000 other things.
Be prepared that when you do get to see him, it is not him, iyswim? It can be quite a shock to see the physical body but realise that the man that you loved is not acutally there. He is now with you in your heart. Remember all the good times, laugh about them, rejoice in them. Maybe you could make a scrap book with the kids whilst all these memories are still fresh.....
so sad for you Evenstar - i hope you get to see him again soon to help you realise the situation - don't worry, he's not lost and i'm sure his spirit is very near you rather than lurking near his bod. ((hugs))
So sorry to read this message, glad you are getting lots of support in RL. My brother died suddenly two years ago and we had to travel about 60 miles to see him and I think I was hoping they'd got it wrong and I'd say ' it's not him' when I got there. Your eyes need to see him to properly know yes it is true. take care x
Dearest Evenstar, I do not know you but feel terribly shocked and saddened for you and your children. My son collapsed and died in my garden when he was 14, he was alone, so I can truly understand how you are feeling at this unreal, painful time. My love to you all, xx
