Loss of a Twin x

[Boop]

Hello,
I am new to this site, and having read some of your messages, I so want to find out if there is anyone out there that has gone through what we have.
I have a beautiful 9 week old DD, she is the result of years of trying, and years of upset, and the magic of IVF. We were lucky to be told that we were having twins, but at 20 weeks we were told that one of the twins was not growing.
We went every 2 weeks for checks, and were told at week 28 that things were looking a bit better, but to be told at week 32 that we had lost her, so close but so far........
I started to bleed very badly at week 37 and had c section under general due to my meds for having a DVT x So didnt even get to see them being born, nor my husband, So you see things have been difficult, but we have two beautiful girls x
Reason for coming on here, that I have been thinking of Bo, and her loss, I look at the photos every now and then, and the kindness that people have shown me normally sets me off. I know that I am getting stronger, well with a 9 weeks old monkey its hard to have time to think to much x
Just wanted to see if any one out there had the same experience x Thanks Boopx

[nikkie]

nothing to help you really but this will bump it

[buktus]

cant begin to imagine what that would have been like, i am sure there are people on here to help that have had similar situations i am sorry for your loss of a little baby but happy for you at the same time as you now have a lovely monkey to help ease your sorrow, good luck just wanted to bump =the thread for you

[carol3]

So sorry for your loss boop can't imagine how you ve coped your must be a strong lady, i hope you give yourself time to grieve, hard i know with the constant round of feeding and changing.
I can't offer any other advice although i'm sure you'll find some on here, they ve never failed me
Thinking of you.

[chubbleigh]

My younger sister is one of twins, her sister died at 9 days old, she didn't make it through surgery for a hole in the heart. My mum took it very badly, it is such a difficult situation to be in as you have to plough on through the grief and it is hard to not let it overshadow the joy of having the other child. I think it took her a long time to bond with her surviving child, she tried to battle on but in the end she just couldn't cope and she had a breakdown (her situation was compounded by other factors in her life but losing the baby was the last straw). I think what she would say to you if she was writing this would be to deal with your grief and not try to hide it or push it down, it will have to come out of you one way or another. The are lots of things about losing a twin that are unique to the situation, that much I do know. At certain times in her life my sister has felt it too.
Please be brave and find someone to talk to if you feel that you have got things you need to let out. I feel for you, I know how hard it is.

[toytownmum]

Hi Boop,
My situation was very simular to yours my ds1 (twin1) who is now 2 1/2 was born as a result of IVF, he was born at 29 weeks by emergency c-section under general, he weighed 2lb 11oz and is now doing very well. The day before he was born we learnt that his brother (twin2) had died about 2 or 3 weeks before.
We will never forget our twin2 but when ds1 was only 5mths old we found out I had fallen pregnant naturally ( total shock and miracle as we had been ttc for over 7 years prior to the IVF) and ds1, the pregnancy and the birth of ds2 helped to take the edge off the pain.
Just enjoy every minute of what you have.
Take care ttm x

[Boop]

Hi TTM,
thank you for sharing your story with me, it give us hope that we too may be able to have another child, well not just yet, but in the future.
Your right about enjoying our children, and I do, I still cant belive she is here really, like you after 7 years of trying its a shock when it happens.
Am pleased your DS1 is doing so well x
Thanks again Boopx

[swedishmum]

Hi Boop
My dd2 is a twin. At the 20 week scan we were told I was expecting twins, and that the 2nd twin had problems. She had hypoplastic left heart, and we were given the option of a selective termination which we didn't take. Through the rest of the pregnancy we knew that she wouldn't survive, and it gave us time to get used to it. They were born at 37 weeks and she lived for only 24 hours. It really helped during the pregnancy and afterwards to write down how I was feeling. The worst bit was 3 weeks later when dd was dangerously ill in hospital over her first Christmas with very severe bronchiolitis. We're very lucky to have 3 more children but I never take them for granted.