Best friend's suicide

[JetcatisBack]

My dearest best friend over the past ten years has struggled on and off with severe depression, as have I.

She finally lost all hope and took her life late last night. Apart from my grief for her, I am shocked at myself for feeling so selfishly about myself at a time like this. She was always the stronger out of the two of us, yet if she can't find the will to keep fighting, then what hope do I have?

But as I say, I can't believe I'm even thinking that (what kind of a friend does that make me?) when I should be thinking of her DP and darling DD.

No idea what I'm trying to say here

[TheTravellingLemon]

I am so sorry to for your loss. I have lost someone to suicide and it is an unique grief.

I think that you need to get as much rl support as possible. Speak to your GP for starters. Some extra support through this terrible time is good.

You have hope. There is always hope. Without wishing to sound callous, you are the stronger - you are still here.

Grieve your friend, but look after yourself also. That is not selfish. If you don't feel strong, draw strength from those around you.

Remember that you can do this, it's hard, but you are strong.

[callamia]

I'm so sorry for the loss of your friend. It's not selfish to have some difficult thoughts about what's happened, and it's not a betrayal of her either. Do talk to people about how you feel, maybe here if you like. No one will judge you, no one will think anything but supportive wishes to you. I think that there is a lot of hope for you - you've been fighting on for a while, and you're still here and still upright. Look after yourself and surround yourself with good friends if you can.

[JetcatisBack]

Thanks - I do have rl support which is helping. I guess it's all just a bit raw. I feel so helpless, her DP is not coping at all and he is aware of my health issues - it's almost like I feel guilty that I'm still here and she's not.

[TooMuchToDoTooLittleInclinatio]

I am so sorry to hear about your friend - I would be lost without mine and totally devastated if she had taken her own life.

Grief is selfish, it's about our feelings - it's natural, don't try to fight that.

Guilt is natural too - there's always something we feel guilty about, no matter what.

Perhaphs one little bit of good can come out of it, perhaphs your friend can help you one last time... perhaps you can see how devastating suicide is for those left behind and perhaphs you can do everything in your power to keep fighting. Do it for yourself, do it for your friend and do it for your loved ones - if you can x

Do whatever you can for her DH and DD and know there are many of us thinking of them, her & you.

[TeenageMutantNinjaTurtle]

An old friend of mine committed suicide, it's a bleak time. Such a pointless waste of a life, he was wonderful.

I hope you have lots of support through the grief. Love to you and yours