5th anniversary of stillbirth son but also expecting with same dates

[Rafiki2081]

I am currently expecting my 4th child a little girl. My issue is the dates are same as my middle son, who was born sleeping at 36 weeks. I've managed to stay positive thoughout most of this pregnacy, but now as i approach the end and more specifically the 36 weeks I find myself panicking about everything, movements, what ifs, am I ready ect ect.
I'm trying to stay strong as I don't want to panic my family with my issues, but find myself feeling increasingly feeling down and not enjoying things.
I have a midwife friend who keeps saying that if I'm worried phone the hospital, but I don't want to seem pestering or neurotic.
Has anyone any advice, before I go insane.
Many thanks

[HomeIsWhereTheHeartIs]

I don't have any experience of this but I didn't want to ignore your post.
Can you share your worries with DH, and support each other?
This must be really tough.

[insancerre]

I think you should take your friend advice and talk to the hospital
My friend had a baby boy who was born asleep
She fell pregnant again and her due date was the first year anniversary.
The hospital were very supportive and gave her a date for a c section a few days before
She went on to have a healthy baby boy

[angelopal]

Sorry for you loss. I lost my first unexpectedly neonatally. All through the next pregnancy I was terrified something was going to wrong.

Not sure if you had any support from SANDS. They have next pregnancy groups on their forum and it really helped as everyone had the same worries and fears. If you are not on them its worth joining as the last few weeks can be the toughest.

My midwife told me to call the hospital if I was worried about movement at any time. I did end up getting monitored at 39 weeks for reduced movement.

If you are worried please call. They will not think you are pestering them at all especially with your history.

Take care.

[dunkinhobnobs]

I understand exactly how you are feeling. My baby boy was born sleeping at 37 weeks last October and I am currently 6 weeks pregnant. It is early days for me and I am trying to remain calm about the whole thing but for you, with the dates being the same it must be incredibly hard.
My Consultant promised that my next delivery would be 35/36 weeks to avoid the stress of the last few weeks. Could they arrange similar for you? Obviously early birth carries its own risks but having previously had twins born at 35 weeks I am willing to take that risk.
Do not feel like you are pestering the hospital. It is what they are there for and if they do not understand why you feel the need to visit and be checked more than most then they would be very unreasonable. You are entitled to be worried. What you went through is the worst and there would be something wrong if you weren't nervous and protective of this pregnancy.
I would love to hear of your progress and am happy to chat as someone who understands. I am certain I will struggle to take my own advice if things progress for me!!
X

[o0]

I had the same with my DS2 and DS3.

My DS2 was stillborn at 36 weeks and I was pregnant with my DS3 a few months later. The had the same due date so it felt like I was living the previous year all over again. Towards the end it became really hard not to give in to the horrible thoughts that the exact same thing was going to happen.

I did go in to the hospital a lot. Every single day from 30 weeks. This was agreed with with the hospital. They were excellent. Sometimes on a day out I'd pop into that towns hospital to get the heartbeat checked. It seems madness but it was the only way to get through it.

Every single person I saw was kind and understanding. They don't feel as if you're making a fuss or that you're neurotic, honestly. And if you got the rare person that did think this then fuck them. What's a moody dr/midwife over the safety of your baby?!

I'm so sorry for the loss of your DS2.

[Rafiki2081]

Thank you all, I have had an another baby inbetween, another boy who is now 3 and I did panic a lot with him and was induced 2 weeks early. But this one is different mainly because of the dates, and I've had one healthy then we lost then healthy, then ..... I know, and I try not to panic on one hand I just want her here so I know everything's ok on the other I know she needs a little longer.
I know of sands I've been an active part of my local group for 5 years and I am actually a Trained Befriender for them but because I know the group so well find it hard to talk to them, I'm also back talking with my counsellor I had when we lost Sam and find that helps with my emotions but not with reassuring me alls fine.
I just don't want to seem a burden on the hospital in case someone does come in with an issue and they are busy dealing with my nuroric panics.
I'm not seeing my consultant for another 4 weeks at which time they will decide wheather to induce me early or next plan. It just a long time to go going on gut instinct. xXx

[Northernlurker]

Why don't you ring up the consultants's secretary and ask to be seen sooner - or ask your midwife if she can arrange that.

You have a perfectly valid reason to feel anxious. You've lived through the worst that can happen in pregnancy. Frankly i'd be concerned if you weren't nervous at this point. The hospital and midwife services are there for your needs, not just everybody else's.

If monitoring will help then go in and get that done. The service is there to be used. If they are very busy with somebody with an urgent issue they will simply ask you to wait and they'll see you as soon as they can. You won't be taking anything from anybody.