A friend to make us all remember how lucky we are.

[anorak]

My friend and neighbour Joyce died last night. She was only 69. She had spent many years gradually becoming less mobile with arthritis. She had a mastectomy years ago for cancer. She died following contracting a kidney infection in the summer and being hospitalised. During her recovery she contracted two further infections and had a stroke.

She was blissfully married to her lovely husband for 30 years. She loved children but was never able to have any herself. She and her husband loved and doted on my children and were loved back by them. During the last few months her husband did everything for her and told me he loved doing it. He had been denied children in his life and it was a pleasure to him to do some caring. Rising at 5 in the mornings to wash and dress Joyce, do her hair, rub cream into her skin and apply her makeup. She always looked lovely.

She could barely move or walk for the last few months but it was a point of pride to her to prepare the vegetables for dinner each night. When I visited she would always haul herself up from her chair to go and pour my wine herself.

She used to sit and cry with me. Why? Not for herself. She cried because when she was younger she imagined that in her retirement she would spend her time driving the old people around, to their lunches and hospital appointments, and now she was not able to do it.

Never a trace of self-pity, even though she was in so much pain, and denied so many things.

Lovely Joyce, doesn't she make you feel lucky for the life you have?

[moondog]

Yes Anorak. You are right.
My dh went to a specialist orthopaedic hospital yesterday and was told he doesn't need the very serious spinal surgery he thought was necessary.
Place was full of people struggling to move/walk.

We feel so so happy today.
I want to driop to my knees and thank the Gods.

[Megglevache]

Message withdrawn

[SherlockLGJ]

When I am finished crying, I will say a prayer for her and her DH.

[ledodgyrobespierre]

It does indeed and I can tell you feel privelaged to have had such lovely friends and neighbours in yours and your children's lives.

I can still remember Percy and Joyce the next door neighbours when I was growing up they, like yours were kind and loving Percy used to go and get the papers for half the road despite being older than most of them, he'd also get a bottle of Ribena for the old lady across the road and I'd get a foxes glacier mint posted through the window for me every day. From what I remember of Joyce she always smiled and gave me little gifts. They too could not have children but loved children...so sad that some of the most deserving people never actually get their desire. Joyce got alzheimer's and Percy cared for her for ten years until she died and he died a few years later. We are so lucky to have met special people like these and I agree it makes us realise how lucky we are especially that we had the chance to know them.

Thanks for this post Anorak and i'm sorry about your friend.

[anorak]

Thank you for your kind words. Moondog that is fabulous news.

[anorak]

I have just got back from my friend's funeral. I have never seen so much love expressed at a funeral. Almost everyone was in tears, even my DH who very rarely ever cries. There was so much to be said about her by those who paid tributes, about her courage while in terrible pain and her dignity and humour always.

At the end of the service, as her husband John rose to leave the chapel, he stooped and kissed the coffin. It was one of the most moving things I have ever seen, and totally deserved by lovely Joyce.