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Bereavement

Recommendations for support please

7 replies

BusyCee · 29/06/2014 20:38

Hi All. My mum died nearly 10yr ago, and I've since had 2 DC. As they get older I find it harder that she's not around and I wondered if there might be a support group that I could join. I've Googled for the local area and much of it seems time for people recently bereaved. I don't feel like I'm desperate, but I would like to be able to talk about it. I thought there wa something called Mothers without Mothers, but I can't find it. Does it not exist anymore? Anyway. Sorry to ask if it's common knowledge, but if appreciate some help and your knowledge. Thanks

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BusyCee · 29/06/2014 21:31

Anyone?

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BusyCee · 30/06/2014 09:44

I'm probably blithering into the ether, but hey ho.

Since I haven't heard from anyone I've re-googled. I still can't find a group in my area that seems to be right for me. I don't feel it would be appropriate for me to go a group for people who are recently bereaved as the issues I'm facing are so different, having bedded in for such a long time. Is there really nothing for me? Do I just need to either suck it up and get on with it, pack it all down in a box and hide it away?

I'll just stop bleating and do some more washing, then...

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mytwoblackandwhitecats · 30/06/2014 09:57

I don't honestly know - bereavement, loss, can that be addressed in a group, no matter how recent? I'm not sure that it can.

I suppose all you could do is ask for general counselling?

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BusyCee · 30/06/2014 10:21

Thanks Cats. Yes, maybe it's that. Feels lonely though, and as though it's a problem that can be solved. I think I feel more that I just want to be able to say to someone 'this is how I feel about this' and for them to say yes, it's shit isn't it. And aren't you/we all doing a good job.

I think maybe I'm being idealistic, then. Maybe I'll take a mindfulness approach, recognize it, acknowledge it. Move on.

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mytwoblackandwhitecats · 30/06/2014 11:31

Flowers I do understand, of sorts of course. I lost my mum 16 years ago, when I was 16, and going into later adolescence and adulthood without a mother has hugely impacted in all sorts of ways others might feel are odd.

I read years ago that in most cases a man losing his wife is the worst experience he will undergo: for women it's usually losing their mother.

Personally, I didn't find counselling helpful at all - it just seemed to dwell on things I couldn't change and as such I found it more upsetting than anything else! But others have got much from it. x

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Mojito100 · 30/06/2014 15:12

I don't know how you can find groups to go to personally, however, there are some discussions on here about losing a parent and also about the loss of a mum. I suggest you chat on those. I can say that there are a whole range of people who have lost loved ones both recently and from a long time ago on MN. They are all incredibly supportive so try MN and see if that helps. We all understand that it is shitty no matter how much time has passed.

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BusyCee · 30/06/2014 17:39

Thank you. It's nice to be heard, if tht doesn't sound too odd

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