Dear friend has gone.

[TooTooSad]

Our dear friend has gone.

DH has known him forever, me more recently (but still years rather than months).

He'd been having a really difficult time, and had sought help but was obviously not getting what he needed to keep hope.

He took his own life and we feel bereft.

I'm not sure what I'm looking for here, but we're riding the emotional roller coaster of tears and memories whilst trying to stay fairly level as we have small DCs.

It's just too too sad. We loved him so much.

[mummylin2495]

So sorry for your loss of a good friend. Suicide is such a hard thing to come to terms with. May your friend now be at peace

[TooTooSad]

Thank you, that's what we're hoping too.

[TooTooSad]

Can't even feel angry with him, he was in such pain. Just overwhelmingly sad that we couldn't say or do anything that could have helped him hold on a bit longer.

He 'knew' how much we loved him, we told him often enough, but couldn't believe he was worthy of it.

[mummylin2495]

I think when people get in such a dark place in their lives, there isn't really much anyone can do to deter them, it's not to cause pain to others, it's because at that precise moment life is unbearable for them.i hope you and your dh will be able to get some answers as to why he did it, it may help you to move on rather than never knowing if you could of helped.

[strawberryangel]

There's nothing anyone can do. Suicide is such a cruel thing for those left behind.

You sound like good friends, I'm sure he knew he was loved.

Take care xx

[ballsballsballs]

I'm so sorry OP. I lost a dear friend to suicide years ago and it's horrible.

to you and your DH.

[Sixweekstowait]

This happened to me two and a half years ago. As well as the ineffable sadness there was the feeling of guilt and failure as a friend. I replayed our last conversation ( 2 days before he hung himself) over and over in my head - he called himself ' a bad person' - what could/should I have done differently? I accept now that I couldn't have stopped it happening but a death by suicide will always have an extra sadness to it. I pass his old house nearly every day and always feel a little tug on my heart - let yourselves grieve - hold each other as we did and cry when you need to. Eventually I was able to focus on the positive things we'd done for him whilst he was alive and the good memories. He fitted our lovely fire and it's a sort of warm way of remembering him and having a bit if him with us

[BettySwollocksandaCrustyRack]

I'm so sorry OP. We lost my BIL 15 months ago to suicide - it has been absolutely horrendous, my poor DH is destroyed.

Hugs to you and DP x

[AChickenNamedDirk]

So sorry for your loss. I'm glad you can see it as am escape for his extreme pain

Yes it's is cruel to those left behind but feeling like that is pretty horrific.

I hope you and your H are ok x