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Find bereavement help and support from other Mumsnetters.

Bereavement

14 years old

18 replies

gravity · 26/08/2006 11:47

how the hell does one comprehend the death of a beautiful 14 year old girl, her life was just about to begin for god sake.

a good friends daughter died in a awful car accident last night.

he is understandably angry and hurt and distraught, add to this now the media. i just saw tomorrows newspaper front page - the whole page is his daughters face with waste of life written below it.

as a friend what is the right thing i can do? i feel so shell shocked today. its a month til its been a year since my dad died. death just hits the ones it leaves behind like a gun shot. you sit there reeling for your breath and try to understand this. but you cant. they say when your times up it up. my dad had at least lived a fulfilled life. but surely time wasnt up for this beautiful vivacious full of life child

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hulababy · 26/08/2006 11:48

I am really sorry to hear about your friend's daughter

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sassy · 26/08/2006 11:49

How dreadful.

The media intrusion makes it worse, Im sure.

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Pixiefish · 26/08/2006 12:07

so sorry

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SherlockLGJ · 26/08/2006 12:13

OMG

What paper is that FGS ?

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PinkTulips · 26/08/2006 12:15

so sorry for your friend, i hope you can find the strength to help him through this ordeal gravity

my thoughts are with you

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gravity · 26/08/2006 12:16

im in perth in western australia - i wish the media could stop at times ( iknow its there duty and it makes my comment silly) but this poor family don't need the in your face report.

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Sunnysideup · 26/08/2006 12:25

gravity, I'm so sorry to hear this, your poor poor friend. And it's a horrible shock for you too; my friend died at 18 years old and I still remember when I heard, that I undertood the term 'reeling' with shock. It was the most bizarre moment that I can only liken to the points being changed on a railway track and going down the wrong track - all of a sudden life was just going in the wrong direction.

and the distress of the parents is simply unimaginable. Her mum has survived, that's about all she would term it as I think. But she HAS survived and I hope that your friend finds some strength to cope too. I hope the media stuff isn't too awful. Thinking of you.

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aleks · 27/08/2006 08:47

hi gravity so sorry for you and your friend i lost my little boy last year he was 19 weeks its coming up yo his birthday next week he would have been 2 year old both my husband and i just dont know where the time has gone people told me when we first lost our little boy that time is a healer i could of punched them in the face but now a year and a half on i would hate to be back where i was and time is a great healer but there is not a day that goes by that i dont think of him and what could have been your friend will go through a lot of emotions all you can do is be there for them when ever they need you the worst part its a lonely journey your friend is on although you are there and other people once again so sorry to hear

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triplets · 31/08/2006 22:33

Dear Pixiefish,
My heart goes out to the parents, I feel for you all. I lost my 14 yr old son in 1994, my then only child. He collapsed and died in my garden, that was 12 years ago, 12 very long years ago. The shock of a sudden death is excrutiating, but when its your child the pain is unimaginable. The first three years were nothing but tears and stabbing pain, endless. I at the time was working for my brother who owned a newsagents. Three weeks after Matthews death I returned to work, I couldnt bear to be in the house by myself. Three weeks later the local paper still had bill boards up reporting on "Walmer school boys sudden death". I was sooooooooo upset, I walked into the local office and asked to see the editor, it turned out to be an old school friend of mine. I asked her to remove the billboards, she simply looked at me and said, "Im sorry Anne its news". My family went round the whole town and removed them. There is so much you have to go through without dealing with things like that.

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biglips · 31/08/2006 22:35

so sorry to hear!

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triplets · 31/08/2006 22:40

Sorry that should be to Gravity not you Pixiefish, I am tired. My husband has a cousin who lives in Fremantle, works at the local prison !

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Yorkiegirl · 31/08/2006 22:43

Message withdrawn

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Greensleeves · 31/08/2006 22:47

triplets, I am streaming with tears for you, I can't imagine, just can't imagine how that must feel.

Gravity, what an awful shock. My heart goes out to your friend.

It's terrifying just to think it. I just can't comprehend pain that huge.

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2shoes · 31/08/2006 22:47

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triplets · 02/09/2006 21:53

Just thinking of you Gravity xxxxx

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winnie · 02/09/2006 21:59

omg... I am so sorry gravity. How horrendous.
Poor, poor family

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candygirl · 05/09/2006 21:35

omg my heart goes out to your friend,i have a 14 yr old daughter.this is just every mothers nightmare ! just stay strong and be there for your friend and we will all be here for you .take care !

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gravity · 08/09/2006 05:20

triplets and aleks - god im so so sorry for you guys. i look at my two lovel children and i know i am so lucky. the funeral was a week ago. amazing that such a young girl touched so many people - over a thousand people attended to show their last respects. its not amazing really. she was a beautiful and wonderful young lady. something was said during the service which upon thinking of it proves so true. this young lady had done so much and accomplished so much. it was said that god had known she would only be here a short time and that in that time alot had to be fitte. so so true. i spoke to her father at length. a week before she passed she had decided to be an organ donor after her mum had been sending forms away for the same or similar. of course she was too young to have this decision made official anywhere. all of her organs were sucessfully transplanted. she continues to make an amazing impact on more lives. i worry for her father though. he told me he can't afford to get angry. but i don't think he has grieved in anyway. he is so together. even today when i spoke to him. on another note, i hope that the police charge the young man who was driving the vehicle soon. a 17 year old boy on learner plates (ie:he didn't even have his probation plates yet), no experienced driver in the vehicle. doing 120km/hr in a 60/km hr zone. that young man never deserves to hold a drivers licence. i know he may have to deal with the death he caused every day. but so he should. he took the life of this precious angel.
sorry - rant over