my friend committed suicide Monday

[hudsonriver1]

Hi. I found out my friend committed suicide on Monday. She hung herself.

We used to live in the same town but I moved out 3 years ago so kind of lost contact a bit. She used to be my best friend and we both have 11th old daughters.

My friend had a terrible issue with alcohol and mixing with the wrong people.

I hadn't spoken to her since Xmas and was only thinking the other day I must ring and see how she is and tell her I'm 4 months pregnant.

All I have is this image of her hanging in her house, there must have been only 1 place she could have done it.

Why? I don't understand. I feel so guilty and such a rubbish friend

[SunshineBossaNova]

I'm so sorry hudson. Please be kind to yourself, it is a terrible shock.

My oldest friend did the same 9 years ago. She had drug problems. I remember feeling guilty because we'd drifted apart. I'm sure you weren't a rubbish friend, but I remember that feeling too. It's so hard not knowing 'why'. I have an idea of why my friend did it, but I'll never know exactly what made her do it on the day.

Survivors This organisation has a helpline and they were good when I was having a particularly down day.

Big hugs OP.

[Mojito100]

My thoughts are with you at this terribly sad time.

[yegodsandlittlefishes]

Hudson, so very sorry to read that. Did your friend have children, are you in touch with the family?

Hope you have someone to support you through this. It can be such a shock. Do go to your GP and get help (or A&E if urgent) if you yourself have any feelings of suicide yourself.

[LiberalLibertine]

Oh Hudson, I'm really sorry

[snice]

I'm so sorry for your loss

[BettySwollocksandaCrustyRack]

I'm so sorry.

My BIL hanged himself a year ago now, it's a very hard thing to deal with.

Try not to feel guilty and a shit friend - your friend didn't reach out to you - how were you to know. My DH struggles terribly with guilt although he has nothing to feel guilty for.

[darksideofthemooncup]

I am so sorry Hudson, a good friend of mine did this two years ago and it is a horrible shock. Give yourself time to come to terms with this and be kind to yourself.
It's hard to know what to do in such awful circumstances but it is early days and it's natural to question yourself (I did and had a terrible sense of guilt) but I think when someone has done something as desperate as this there would have been nothing that anyone could have done to prevent it.
So sad for you and her family and I hope you have support in RL.

[hudsonriver1]

Thank you all for your messages. I'm going back to the village where I used to live. For some strange reason I want to drive past her house :( will there be flowers there do you think? What else can I do? I am going to get a card for her parents or do I give it to her 11 yr old daughter? Part of me feels her parents and her sister are to blame.......

[hudsonriver1]

Where will she be now? Was she taken to a hospital?

[FallenAngel22]

So sorry for your loss. One of my closest friends took his own life in Nov to the total shock of everyone. I miss him every day.

[Blondeshavemorefun]

I have just seen this as been away

Sorry for your loss

My dh committed suicide 3yrs ago and same method - only diff is that I found him

Many suicides are in their own home as that's where they feel safe iyswim - plus they may reliese in their troubled mind that they will be found

You can not blame yourself or her parents or sister - Or feel guilty - tho you/they will as I did -- time makes things easier

I hope her dd is ok

You asked about her body. Obv this is a late reply - but she would have gone to the mortuary and then funeral home