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Bereavement

My brother was murdered last night.

342 replies

MetallicHighlights · 04/12/2013 21:17

That's it, really. He was stabbed to death on his doorstep. Just been staring at the photo of his house with the forensic tent outside on the BBC website.

I've been spamming FB with maudlin photos but reckon my friends there have probably had enough by now, so have come here to rant instead.

DD (14) adored him. She is being very brave. DS doesn't know yet as it's his 5th birthday today and I wanted him to have one more day of fun before he learns that life is shit.

So how do we get through this?

OP posts:
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Jenijena · 04/12/2013 21:19

I am so so sorry for all your loss. How utterly dreadful. Would you like to tell us about him?

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TheArticFunky · 04/12/2013 21:19

I am so sorry.

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Fab41 · 04/12/2013 21:21

I have no idea how you can get through, what a dreadful shock it must be. Remember good times and don't be shy in asking for help in RL
I am so sorry for your loss

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bumbumsmummy · 04/12/2013 21:22

I am sorry that this has happened to your brother

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Flossiechops · 04/12/2013 21:22

Gosh I'm so sorry. What a terrible tragedy for you and your family Sad

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ParsingFancy · 04/12/2013 21:22

Oh dear god. I'm so sorry. Rant away.

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Rowlers · 04/12/2013 21:23

How absolutely dreadful, truly. Children do come through these things remarkably well ime though. You have my deepest sympathy. Look after yourself x

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Flatasawitchestit · 04/12/2013 21:23

I'm so sorry OP. Sad

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Fuckingfacebook · 04/12/2013 21:23

Oh I'm so so sorry.

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EweHaveGoatToBeSkiddinInSnow · 04/12/2013 21:24

I am so so sorry.

My friend was in this situation last year. Her little brother was stabbed to death by his girlfriend. She has been through utter turmoil through the whole court case (the woman got bail!) and sentencing (she'll be out in 5 years).

The things that have helped her are:

having people around.

writing down her feelings. She wrote on his FB page every day (so please don't be put off doing this).

and most importantly, time.

Over a year has passed since his death. She's still obviously heartbroken, but much better than this time last year.

Her children were 3 and 5 when her brother died. They don't quite understand what has happened, but she takes comfort in talking to the children about their uncle regularly as she can't bear the though of them not knowing/forgetting him.

I'm sorry if i've been terribly un-useful. I really feel for you and wish you all the best. Thanks

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MetallicHighlights · 04/12/2013 21:24

Thank you for taking the time to reply. His name was Jon, he was a gardener, a mad keen guitarist and could go on about the castles of Britain for days. He was also a stubborn sod. He was only 16 months younger than me, so I don't even remember a time when he wasn't there. I think both my kids were half convinced he was some kind of superhero. How is it that I'm having to use the sodding past tense about him?

OP posts:
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LCHammer · 04/12/2013 21:24

I am so sorry. Your lives turned upside down.

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hoobypickypicky · 04/12/2013 21:25

I'm so sorry for your loss.

Would you like to talk about him? Would it help? Please ignore me if you'd rather not. xx

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hoobypickypicky · 04/12/2013 21:25

Sorry, I cross posted with you.

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Zamboni · 04/12/2013 21:26

So sorry for your loss OP.

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nilbyname · 04/12/2013 21:27

Oh my god, how completely horrendous, I'm so so sorry to her of this.

What was he like?

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AndIFeedEmGunpowder · 04/12/2013 21:27

I'm so sorry. He sounds lovely. What an awful shock for you. Flowers

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TheCrumpetQueen · 04/12/2013 21:28

So sorry x

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GoodbyeRubyTuesday · 04/12/2013 21:28

I'm so sorry for your loss. That seems rather meaningless in the face of such a horrific event. There aren't words enough x

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gamerchick · 04/12/2013 21:28

I'm so so sorry :(

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FetchezLaVache · 04/12/2013 21:29

Oh my god, how truly awful. So sorry for you and your kids.

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SoftKittyWarmKitty · 04/12/2013 21:30

So sorry OP, how heartbreaking Sad. He sounds like he was lovely, and talented, and vibrant. Thanks

I hope justice is served and his attackers are punished.

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claretandamberforever · 04/12/2013 21:30

Exactly what Ruby Tuesday said xxx RIP Jon.

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sassytheFIRST · 04/12/2013 21:31

HOw utterly awful. I'm so sorry.

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Pancakeflipper · 04/12/2013 21:31

Oh you poor thing.
You will get through this ( but it is really hard and a rollercoaster).

The Police can offer and find you support through the Family Liaison Officer. Ask them for help.
There are several organisations like //www.samm.org.uk . They can support you and help you get through practical things and offer emotional support.

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