The most overwhelming feeling

[gravity]

I was sitting at my coffee table working on a business project less than half an hour ago and I had the such a powerful and overwhelming feeling that I burst into tears.

My dad died late September last year - I was with him at the time of his death - but it was like flash backs in my mind today. I remembered the pain he was in, hsi begging me to help him stop the pain and the bright blue his eyes had gone (which is someting I will never ever forget) . I remembered it all so clearly. It was so horrible.

I guess this is still part of the grieving process....

[spangles]

I am so sorry for your loss Gravity. I dont have any experience of loosing (sp) a parent so can't really offer any practical advice, just wanted you to know someone is listening

[spangles]

I have lost agood friend 4 years ago and I have to say there is rarely a day goes by that I dont think of my friend. I found that I had lots of very vivid dreams and that certain songs would reduce me to tears . Hopefully someone will be able to help you more with this than I can. thinking of you.

[Pruni]

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[alfiesmum]

So sorry gravity, I know exacty how you feel as I also lost my mum from cancer last September. I never thanked you for the kind messages you sent me at the time.
I still think of my mum everyday, and have a good cry at least once a week. Its just like you say, I go over my mums last moments in my mind and find myself crying uncontrollably. I know this probably doesn't help at all but wanted you to know that you are not alone in your feelings. x

[petrified]

I am so sorry for your loss.
My Mum died nearly 7yrs ago after a very long illness.
I just wanted to let you know that time does help, the pain will never go away but it does improve. There is not a day that goes by without me thinking about her and how much I miss her.
I too used to suffer with terrible memories of her ill, her pain and misery. Gradually over time these faded and were replaced by the good times from before, it took a long time and I do still have the bad memories now and again but these just remind me that she is now no longer in any pain and that surely cant be a bad thing. I know that it is hard to believe but IME time really does help.
thinking of you

[CHOCOLATEPEANUT]

Petrified, I could have wrote your post.I lost my mum same time and I share your feelings exactly.

Gravity I feel for you and I agree time does help you remember the nice memories and the sadness and bad times fade.

I always said loosing my mum was like loosing a limb,you miss it every day but learn to adapt without it and there are times when you need it SO MUCH it hurts.Hope that sounds ok?

Sending you hugs
xx

[oops]

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[southeastastra]

feelings like this do suddenly pop into your head, totally unexpected.

petrified that could have been my post too!

i really like the dreams i have of my mum now though and find them a comfort - gravity it is a long process sorry about your dad

[ninah]

Gravity I was with my dad three weeks ago, much as you describe. By then he really wanted to die and was pushing away oxygen etc but then getting confused and distressed. I can;t think about it so clearly yet but I bet it will come back at some point.
The one thing I do hold onto is that there were other patients of his age or older who had no one at all with them and at least he had me and my sisters caring for him every step of the way. It struck me that dying is a lot like giving birth - painful, intimate, a bit taboo - important, and a crucible for change, possibly. I know the images of my father dying are still with me even though I can't quite bear them yet.
I expect it is part of the process, as you say. My mother died two years ago very suddenly and we learned to expect to feel very panicky at first, intermingled with complete numbness, and for the loss to hit later on. With dad it is all mixed up with the happier memories and the pride of how brave he was.
So sorry for your loss.