The anger phase of grief

(3 Posts)
Stuckunderababy Thu 21-Nov-13 21:33:16

I'm hoping someone can give me some advice. DH lost his sister earlier this year. Initially we talked a lot about her illness and were very close in dealing with her death. However he has become increasingly angry with me. Everything I do annoys him, he's become controlling over our home environment and the smallest thing can set him into a rage where he says awful things to me. He also frequently undermines me with our DC.

I am now at a stage where I don't know what to do - whether this is him reassessing his life and not wanting me anymore, or if this is linked to his grief. He says he is exhausted, doesn't know what he wants and doesn't have the energy to address the issues in our relationship (he has a very high pressure job).

I am trying to be tolerant but am at the stage where I would just walk were it not for the kids. He recognises he has an issue but hasn't said it's linked to grief and equally won't reassure me at all about our relationship. So I am left now wondering if I am making excuses for his behaviour.

Can anyone else share their experiences of the anger phase of grief and how it manifested itself? Or has anyone been in a similar situation with a partner?

Thank you.

t875 Fri 22-Nov-13 08:56:42

It can be linked to grief, I lost my mum lady suddenly ladt year to a massive stroke!

I have had a lot of bitterness and stress and anger and definitely at times my husband has wound me up it comes and goes. How long has he been like this?
Did his sister pass suddenly?
Maybe he might help to get bereavement councelling even if he goes for one assessment he can get out the anger and bitterness. I had 4 sessions with cruse and it really helped me. Or if he would prefer cruse generic phone help line were very good too.
I was all over the place with my emotions and stages of grief last year after it happened. It's one he'll of a crap time but having to carry on with everyday things.

You sound a great support though. Maybe you guys go out and talk over how you are feeling ?
All the Very best through this hard time And so sorry to hear of his loss. X

Musicaltheatremum Tue 26-Nov-13 21:30:36

He sounds as though he is grieving. He has lost his sister and now maybe questions his own mortality. Grief makes you feel exhausted by itself. I'm 20 months in and still feel awful. Time is the best thing and cruse is a good idea

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