my beautiful little girl

(20 Posts)
dannika Tue 24-Sep-13 19:52:16

My daughter was born on April 26th 2013 and she was the most beautiful baby girl and she stole my heart the second I saw her. Her three year old brother often asks me where she is and I have told him in our heart and in every laugh,every smile and every beautiful thing we see. I miss her more than words can day and think about her everyday. I suffer phantom kicking which is like torture and I don't know anyone who had ever experienced this. I thank anyone who takes the time to read this x

BonaDea Tue 24-Sep-13 19:59:50

I'm so sorry for your loss. What was her name? Do you feel like talking about what happened?

dannika Tue 24-Sep-13 23:17:24

Her name is Annalise. I suffered dehydration and after three weeks in hospital I went into labour at thirty five weeks. Her heart rate accelerated and they rushed me to delivery to set up an emergency section as I was meant to be induced at thirty seven weeks as I had my son now three and a half at thirty five and four days. They thought her heart rate had gone back to normal but they mis read the chart and it was my heart they were seeing. I was told her heart had stopped and I delivered her less than an hour later. The hospital admit to negligence and said that had they have performed the section or induced the day before as I requested my beautiful girl would still be alive. I hope that all makes sense it's the first time I have tried to explain it to anyone other than family.

dannika Tue 24-Sep-13 23:17:50

Her name is Annalise. I suffered dehydration and after three weeks in hospital I went into labour at thirty five weeks. Her heart rate accelerated and they rushed me to delivery to set up an emergency section as I was meant to be induced at thirty seven weeks as I had my son now three and a half at thirty five and four days. They thought her heart rate had gone back to normal but they mis read the chart and it was my heart they were seeing. I was told her heart had stopped and I delivered her less than an hour later. The hospital admit to negligence and said that had they have performed the section or induced the day before as I requested my beautiful girl would still be alive. I hope that all makes sense it's the first time I have tried to explain it to anyone other than family.

HorsePetal Tue 24-Sep-13 23:20:45

I am so deeply sorry for the loss of your beautiful daughter. Do you have family? Supporting you?

dannika Wed 25-Sep-13 00:37:39

Its difficult to talk to family as two are pregnant, one delivered five days ago any my sister had her first child and my first nephew two weeks before Annalise. It's become very hard to stay connected and not distance myself off. I love them very much however it kick starts my phantom kicking. My son keeps asking about his sister and it's difficult to explain to him that she is with the angels and we can't give her him for Christmas.

SecretWitch Wed 25-Sep-13 01:00:45

My heart goes out to you on the loss of your sweet baby. I wish I had the right words to bring you comfort. I am sending you love and hugs [hugs]

AgnesBligg Wed 25-Sep-13 01:07:47

Oh no. I am so terribly sorry for your loss. My heart goes out to you. There really are no words. Much love to you and your son.

LilacBreastedRoller Wed 25-Sep-13 01:26:16

I'm so very sorry you have been parted from Annalise. I lost my DS at 41 weeks last year, and so I understand some of what you are feeling. The phantom kicks are torture I know. In time they fade, but you'll always be able remember what it was like to feel her. It's very difficult when the people close to you are having babies, and your own beautiful child has been cheated in this way , and you feel so proud of them and love them so much but can't show them off. My heart goes out to you and my thoughts are with you flowers. Xxx

Sammie101 Wed 25-Sep-13 07:22:13

I'm so so sorry for your loss, my heart goes out to you and your family, and your lovely little boy.
Annalise is a beautiful name, for a beautiful little girl. Sending you a big hug <3

dannika Wed 25-Sep-13 18:20:20

Thank you for all the kind words my partner, son and I really appreciate it. Thanks again

Isabeller Wed 25-Sep-13 18:21:56

So sorry to hear of your loss x

Hulababy Wed 25-Sep-13 18:26:08

I am so sorry that Annalise didn't make it.

chinam Thu 26-Sep-13 21:37:36

I'm so sorry for your loss. I think you have a beautiful way of explaining her whereabouts to your son.

dannika Fri 27-Sep-13 21:01:03

Thank you it's difficult to explain it to him as I don't want him to grow up being afraid of death because it's hard for me at twenty two to understand why it all happened especially as he knows I went to hospital where you are meant to be looked after so I don't want him to fear hospitals either.

Tiredtrout Fri 27-Sep-13 21:42:39

I'm so sorry for your loss, I can't imagine the pain you're in

dannika Thu 03-Oct-13 20:09:24

It was the best and worst day of my life. I hope that one day no one will ever loose a child no matter how early or late in pregnancy. I wish for a miracle drug to protect all babies during pregnancy and birth and I wish to go back in time and change Annalise's future.

You poor darling xxxxxxxxxx

dannika Sun 10-Nov-13 18:28:14

It's been six months now and two more babies have been born by my sister and my partner's step sister in law and we are also waiting on another arrival in may from his step brother. We lost another baby to early miscarriage two months ago and I caught an infection but after a hospital visit ( not the one we lost our daughter to) and anti biotics I got a little better. I am awaiting an MRI on my spine and hopping against hope that should it result in an operation that it will not prevent me having children as at twenty two and my previous history I am not ready to be told I can never have another chance. There are good days and bad but we take each day as it comes and we carry on for our son and hope that some day we will be able to be parents again and our son can be a brother. I want to thank everyone for their kindness and support and I hope this update reaches out to anyone who is going through the same and feels there is no light at the end of the tunnel

thistlelicker Sun 10-Nov-13 18:32:02

thanks For u xxx

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