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Find bereavement help and support from other Mumsnetters.

Find bereavement help and support from other Mumsnetters.

Bereavement

What can i expect to happen? (poss a tmi topic)

18 replies

MerlinsBeard · 02/06/2006 13:15

Know for certain that i have lost this baby now (there is a whole other thread somewhere whic i can link if anyone wants to) but i didn't ask at epu what to expect in terms of m/c.

If u don't mind, i'd like to know what to expect? Can't get thru to epu as permanently engaged so it seems today.

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TheHun · 02/06/2006 13:31

sad subject but here goes - I m/c at 8 weeks back in July. Had some spotting for a few days before and some mild cramps which suddenly got worse, for me just like quite bad period pain, no worse. I then started bleeding quite heavily which included several clots and the little yolk sac which made me really sad. Clotty bits all passed over that day, after that it was just like a heavy period for a couple of weeks. Felt very tired, headachey and devatatingly sad. A bit tmi I know but I would have appreciated knowing what to expect. I had a spontateous m/c, I did'nt need to go to hospital or have a d&c. Hope it is all over soon and you can move on.

MerlinsBeard · 02/06/2006 13:34

Thank you for that TheHun. we should be 10 weeks but sac only 6 week size. Have got the bad pains and really heavy bleeding and almost certain i passed the sac last night. Wondered if it was going to get worse. Its only just sinking in so still not sure how i feel yet.

Thank you for your honesty and sorry for your loss xxx

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sandradee · 02/06/2006 13:44

Hi MOM, I'm so sorry to hear your news. I had a misscarriage at 12 weeks but the baby had died at 8 weeks. I had very heavy bleeding and had the choice of waiting to see if it would spontaneously miscarry or I could have a D&C. I went home to wait but I was in a lot of pain plus I hated the thought of what was going on so went back the next day to have the D&C.

It's done under general anaesthetic which terrified me since it was the first time ever I had been under. It was all over so quickly and the hospital were wonderful. I went in in the morning and was allowed to go home that afternoon after they knew I was OK.

You can spontaneously miscarry but if you are experienceing a lot of physical pain which I was it might be best to go for the quicker option. Also there si no guarantee that it will not have all expelled itslef. Sorry to be so graphic.

I have had bo after effects of the D&C and went on to have a healthy DS back in early 2005 (I fell pregnant 4 months after the D&C)

I do feel for you - it's not a pleasant thing to have to go through and is very upsetting, but you are not alone and try to take solace in that.

cupcakes · 02/06/2006 13:50

so sorry for your loss. I had a missed mc in March when I should have been 12/13 weeks but the sac was 6 weeks in size. I started bleeding naturally about a week after diagnosis and the sac came out about 36 hours after it started. I knew when I passed the sac as it was much bigger than any of the clots. The pain really built up to that moment and from then on got better and the bleeding then started dying down. I think I possibly bled (lightly) for about another week afterwards. Once the sac is passed it definitely gets better. I was worried that the pain would come back but I had a scan a few days later and they confirmed that it had all finished. I got by with paracetamol and codeine (I was told that ibuprofen isn't the best thing to take when miscarrying - something to do with the clots).
Sorry it that was all tmi but I know how desperate I was for information at the time.

MerlinsBeard · 02/06/2006 14:04

Sandradee, Cupcakes, Thank you for your honesty and sorry for your losses.
my local epu is closed now so can't ring for advice or bring my next scan forwards/cancle it or whatever ur supposed to do.

had scan y'day where they were almost positive i had m/c at 6 weeks (should be 10) but wanted to "give it a chance" and scan was arranged for 2 weeks time. Not sure whats next now in terms of the epu and what i tell them/or what they have to do to me and they are (stupidly) closed now until monday.

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cupcakes · 02/06/2006 14:09

if you've been bleeding it sounds like the next scan will just be to confirm that the mc is complete and check nothing has been left behind in your womb.
It really is a horrible time. I felt numb for most of it. This stage is awful as you just want it to be over but it seems to drag for ages.
If it's any comfort to you I conceived 4 weeks after mc and am now 11 weeks pg(touch wood).

sandradee · 02/06/2006 14:11

Gosh - that was quick. Good luck with this pg cupcakes, what great news.

MerlinsBeard · 02/06/2006 14:15

congratulations cupcakes, i really hope everything goes well for you.

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psychomum5 · 02/06/2006 14:16

MoM........flame and I both here if you need us hun.

many mnay hugs

xxxxx

MerlinsBeard · 02/06/2006 14:17

Thanks u2 xx

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littlefrog · 02/06/2006 17:55

I'm so sorry to hear this is happening to you too. I've just lost a baby at 11 weeks, but 6-7 week size. I'm sure everyone else's experience is different, but for me the actual miscarrying was the easiest part of the whole horrible experience. I lost the little sac and tiny baby the evening after the miscarriage was diagnosed, and we buried it in the garden, under our apricot tree. I had a fairly nasty night afterwards, having not collected the prescribed painkillers (a stupid thing to have done, as we only had 4 paracetamol in the house). My husband and I walked round the parks of the London all the following day, talking and cuddling and crying, and I then lost the placenta all in one go late that afternoon. At the EPU this morning I was told the miscarriage was complete, although I'm still bleeding. And exhausted...
I hope you have lots of support and loving people around; it's made all the difference to me. Thinking of you.

Greyhound · 03/06/2006 00:14

((((((hugs)))))) to everyone on here who has been through this...

I had a d&c for two of my miscarriages. The other two were early and just like heavy, late periods :(

I think I passed the baby in the shower just before my d&c. It was like a really big clot :( I was about 7 weeks.

Thinking of you.

ghosty · 03/06/2006 08:10

Hi all ... sorry for your losses
I had an m/c at 12 weeks. Spotting started the Saturday night and through Sunday. Went to have scan on the Monday (by which time I was having regular 'contractions') to find that there was no heartbeat and the baby was 9 week size .
I was given the choice of having a D&C the next morning or letting nature take it's course. I thought it would be therapeutic for me to go the natural route but tbh I wish I hadn't
The miscarriage 'proper' started on the Tuesday evening. I had labour like contraction pains and bled heavily and constantly for 3 full hours with contractions close together. Sorry for TMI but I spent those 3 on the toilet . I remember thinking, "How can I lose so much blood without dying?". I knew which bit was the baby and which bit was the beginnings of a placenta. It was very painful and very traumatic. I am only grateful that I have not had to experience a later miscarriage or stillbirth - I really don't think I could have coped with that. After what I went through my heart goes out to anyone who has suffered a miscarriage and it breaks my heart when I read about any baby loss on MN.
I bled like a heavy period for the next 2 weeks by which time the doctor thought it should be slowing down so I had a scan and there was still 'products of conception' left. So I had a D&C anyway ... 3 days before DS' 4th birthday .

I am sorry if my details are too much but you did ask and tbh I wish someone had told me what to expect ...

Hugs {{{}}}

Northerner · 03/06/2006 08:30

Hi Mumofmonstors, I am so so sorry to hear your sad news. I miscarried at easter, passed the sac and placenta at home, I had been bleeding for 4 days before this and then bled for another week. I was fortunate in the fact that I did not have one jot of pain. Mine was totaly painless physically. Emotiobally is a different story, I was drained, exhausted and very very sad.

The next couple of weeks will be tough, rely on your friends/family and take good care of yourself.

Your dreams/hopes for this pregnancy and your family ahve been shattered, that takes some getting use to. But it does get better.

Take care.

LucyCampCat · 03/06/2006 20:13

Oh no mom, I've been away so didn't know about this - If you want to chat on msn then I'll be around.

Thinking of you and your little monsters.

gingernut · 03/06/2006 20:36

MoM, I had a m/c at 11 weeks. I had heavy bleeding and labour-type pains until I passed the sac after which the pain subsided quite a lot. I then had a day or so of period-like achey pain and a few days of heavyish bleeding, then light bleeding for about 10 days - I bled for about 2 weeks in total.

Very sorry you are going through this.

MerlinsBeard · 03/06/2006 20:38

I really apprieciate everyones honesty on this thread. Thank you to everyone who has posted xx

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Christie · 03/06/2006 21:54

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Message withdrawn at poster's request.

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