A little hand holding please...

(507 Posts)
SurvivalOfTheUnfittest Fri 26-Apr-13 03:48:37

My gorgeous husband kissed ds1, aged 5, ds2, aged 3, and I, tonight, told us each that he loved us and went to play football, as he has every Thursday for the last 10 years.

38 minutes later, I had a call from his mate to say that he was having some kind of fit. By the time I arrived at the pitch, he was receiving cpr. Eventually we agreed they should stop at the hospital. He was 39 years old and the best daddy and husband one could hope for.

I'm lying here, wide awake, totally numb, and trying to think how to tell our beautiful boys that their super daddy didn't make it home.

I don't know when I'll be back on here., as I'm supposed to be trying to sleep, but just needed to say the words above.

timetopost Tue 22-Jul-14 21:45:07

Hi Survival, hope everything is ok, ( also posting as I don't want your thread to move over to page 2 iykwim) xx

timetopost Wed 25-Jun-14 19:05:03

Still thinking of you Survival, praying that you're ok, take care x,

timetopost Sun 08-Jun-14 22:03:42

Hi Survival, hope all is ok, thinking of you and your boys xx

Goodness me you've had a tough year, Survival. However, you're not called survival for nothing!! Hope that you manage to stay calm for the hideous wait time, and that all is well with your health.
Lots of love and keep us posted. X xx

timetopost Thu 15-May-14 14:43:44

Hi Survival, so sorry to hear you have health worries, as itsfab says, I really hope this is a false alarm. Please let us know how you get on. Hope your 2 lovely boys are well, take care x

Itsfab Mon 12-May-14 20:12:23

I hope it is a false alarm, survival and that your DS is okay too.

saffronwblue Mon 12-May-14 12:00:02

Keep us posted survival. Can't believe you have another health issue to deal with. Life is just bloody unfair sometimes. I hope you get the answers you want.

WearYourPinkGloveBabe Sun 11-May-14 19:51:07

Survival how bloody unfair!

I'm sure life is holding back and you're in for an amazingly easy ride in a few years time. xxx

SurvivalOfTheUnfittest Sat 10-May-14 23:29:06

Thanks all. I've now been thrown into another scary situation with my own health. Have to wait two weeks to find out more and am doing my best to stay positive, despite pain and feeling poorly. Today is a year since DH's funeral and still life is not easing up on me. Thank goodness for my two lovely DS.

Glad the day passed off peacefully, Survival: you are amazing. Hope Bluebell Wood was salve for your soul. X xx

saffronwblue Sun 27-Apr-14 07:16:03

I too have been thinking of you Survival. I think your DH would be very proud of you and your boys. xx

onedev Sat 26-Apr-14 11:12:53

I can't express my thoughts very well here at all as nothing I type seems suitable, so I'll simply say I'm another who is thinking of you & wishing you all the very best.

SurvivalOfTheUnfittest Sat 26-Apr-14 00:25:10

You are all so lovely to think of us today (well, technically yesterday now..). We've made it though the day and actually, thanks to wonderful friends, it has been a good day. The last few days have been hard. I have updated my blog today and writing it was difficult earlier in the week. (It's on the Mumsnet bloggers network under 'Youngish, widowed and mostly still smiling' in case you want to read it).

Today though, we have: been to a double hospital appointment for the boys at the hospital where DH officially died; walked up a big hill in the mist and rain with friends and blown bubbles to Daddy; had a picnic lunch in the lounge with our friends (due to the weather); been to watch a memorial football match between DH's work and footie mates (and ds1 was invited onto the pitch to tuck away a couple of penalties for them, followed by a forward roll as a goal celebration!); had the boys' tea at a friend's house and then had curry and wine with friends here this evening.
The hour from 6pm till 7pm was weird, knowing that it was the last few minutes of last year befriend our lives changed forever, but it past, with my friend around for a hug, and we carried on regardless, as usual.

DS1 has had a bout of arrhythmia in the last couple of weeks so that has shaken me somewhat. He has had tests done this week and we will hear back in a fortnight about whether the results are significant or not. I'm assuming all will be well until I hear differently.

We've also had electrical problems in the house and the floorboards of four rooms up and holes cut in the walls of one room yesterday. This kind of thing would not usually have stressed me out, but yesterday it did.

Tomorrow, we will have a fairly quiet day. I am beginning to recognise my limits and have cancelled the tricky plans that had been made for the day as I expect to be quite tired. We might go for a walk in our local bluebell wood as it was one of our favourite places to go as a family of four.

Thank you again for all your support, both today and all through the year. It has made a tremendous difference to me.

I can't believe it's been a year, Survival. Hope you are living up to your name and getting through the day. Can't imagine how hard it may be. Thinking of you with love. X xx

timetopost Fri 25-Apr-14 19:04:54

Survival, just wanted to let you know that I'm thinking of you, your lovely boys and your loved ones today x

JumpingJetFlash Fri 25-Apr-14 11:11:00

Hi Survival,

I've just sat and read through your thread with tears in my eyes and a huge lump in my throat. I am amazed at your strength and feel that your boys are so lucky to have you as a mum - you are helping them through a time that is heartbreaking for you too.

I'm sorry if that sounds trite, I didn't want to read your thread and not comment.

CorporateRockWhore Fri 25-Apr-14 10:07:25

Survival, a year? Oh my word. I hope you and your boys her through the next few days as well as can be expected. xxx

Also thinking of TeamSurvival today - have thought of you on and off over the months and know that today will bring unprecendented challenges and emotions, but hope you get through it with support x

Rowgtfc72 Fri 25-Apr-14 07:48:32

Thinking of you and your boys today x

TotalBlamBlam Thu 24-Apr-14 22:51:56

Hi Survival, I followed your thread from the beginning last April and wanted to say I'm thinking of you and your DCs as you approach the first anniversary of losing your beloved DH.

thanks

Itsfab Mon 14-Apr-14 20:54:03

I have thought of you over the 11 months since I first read the dreadful news that your DH had died and I think you are one of the most incredible people I don't know.

Please go to a phone shop asap and ask them how to make sure your precious messages are saved forever. I wonder if there is even a way to print them out? Maybe if it is cut and paste and then email them to yourself for printing out?

timetopost Mon 14-Apr-14 13:55:26

Hi Survival, so sorry I've not been back to reply to you sooner, it was so lovely to hear your update. I continue to find you an inspiration, I'm sure your DH is looking down on you and your boys and is incredibly proud.

So sorry to read that you have had problems with lack of contact from some family members, that must be very difficult for you all.

I hope DS1 enjoyed his birthday, and hope all is well with DS2 after his sleep survey.

You and your lovely boys will in my thoughts on the 25 April.

Take care xx

onedev Sun 06-Apr-14 10:46:23

I'm another who has just found & read through your entire thread with lots of tears in my eyes.

Your love for your husband & children shines so brightly & you sound like you are doing amazingly well (although I can imagine that's hard for you to see at times) - no doubt he would be very proud.

Wishing you continued strength.

SurvivalOfTheUnfittest Sat 05-Apr-14 21:55:50

Thanks folks.
Cezella, thank you for taking the time to read my thread. I hope you had a glass of wine handy! I'm just a person who has found myself in the middle of a situation with little choice but to do what I can to keep going for my boys. The WAY group is full of other people doing exactly the same (or slightly different, depending on their own individual situations). If you ever meet anyone who is widowed under the age of 50, please send them in WAY's direction.

TwentyTinyToes Tue 01-Apr-14 00:16:51

Great to hear from you, as ever your strength is inspiring. Wishing for plenty more rainbows along the way. X

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