A little hand holding please...

(507 Posts)
SurvivalOfTheUnfittest Fri 26-Apr-13 03:48:37

My gorgeous husband kissed ds1, aged 5, ds2, aged 3, and I, tonight, told us each that he loved us and went to play football, as he has every Thursday for the last 10 years.

38 minutes later, I had a call from his mate to say that he was having some kind of fit. By the time I arrived at the pitch, he was receiving cpr. Eventually we agreed they should stop at the hospital. He was 39 years old and the best daddy and husband one could hope for.

I'm lying here, wide awake, totally numb, and trying to think how to tell our beautiful boys that their super daddy didn't make it home.

I don't know when I'll be back on here., as I'm supposed to be trying to sleep, but just needed to say the words above.

HarrySnotter Wed 08-May-13 07:20:00

I don't know what to say, other than I am so, so sorry. Another hand here for you and your boys. sad

MunchkinsMumof2 Wed 08-May-13 18:11:10

I am so sorry for your loss Survival you are being incredibly brave and are very good at articulating your feelings. I'm not sure what a random stranger on the interweb can say but I am thinking of you and your boys and am sending love and strength at this hideous time.

FoxyRevenger Thu 09-May-13 15:51:45

You and your boys have been on my mind so much this week, in the wee hours of the morning when everyone else is still asleep.

I can't imagine how you are doing this, but you are.

Still holding my hand out for you.

SurvivalOfTheUnfittest Thu 09-May-13 22:33:16

Still reading...thank you.

I have finished all the preparations for the funeral tomorrow and am pretty much ready for bed. I have never felt this level of exhaustion and have ground my way through the last couple of days, hence not managing to post on here each day.

I went to visit dh today. My lovely friend who came to support me at the hospital on the night dh died had been and said that dh was looking great. Altough it was not something I would normally considered doing, I concluded that my lasting memory of him at the hospital was not a very positive one. I'm so pleased I did go, as he just looks like he is asleep - very relaxed and comfortable in his normal jeans and hoody. I took pictures from the boys and the tiger teddy that ds1 had wanted us to buy for him. Ds1 (aged just 5) wrote his card for the flowers last night and independently decided to write, "I love you right up to the moon and back," from 'Guess How Much I Love You'. I thought that was perfect.

Think of us tomorrow. It's going to be a hard day, but my determination to get it just right for dh and the boys remains strong.

5madthings Thu 09-May-13 22:39:57

Xxxx

VitoCorleone Thu 09-May-13 22:42:19

Thinking of you x

DisappointedHorse Thu 09-May-13 22:45:59

I'm so very sorry for your loss. My uncle died in very similar circumstances a couple of years ago, it's absolutely devastating.

Your funeral plans sound lovely and I hope tomorrow goes as well as it can. You're all in my thoughts.

SingingSands Thu 09-May-13 22:52:39

I just wanted to say I'll be thinking of Team Survival tomorrow. Wishing you peace and love x

ChippingInLovesSunshine Thu 09-May-13 23:07:17

Oh my love, I've only just seen your thread sad

It's not fair... it's just not fair - though my Dad would have said 'Who told you life would be fair love?'

My Dad died in a very similar way and I'm still in a mess over it (3 years on) - the shock is so very hard to deal with.

I hope you can take a little comfort from the fact that he kissed you all & told you all that he loved you before he went to play football.

You are doing very very well - hang in there, I'll be thinking about you all tomorrow.

Big big hugs
x

Survival - will be thinking of you and your darling boys tomorrow. My heart goes out to you all x

RatherBeOnThePiste Thu 09-May-13 23:35:05

Thinking of you my lovely. Will be holding your hand in spirit tomorrow Xx

saffronwblue Thu 09-May-13 23:45:58

Will be thinking of you and your boys tomorrow. I hope there are some happy moments among the pain. What a loving family you were and still are.

TwentyTinyToes Fri 10-May-13 04:15:53

Holding you and your darling boys in my thoughts, especially tomorrow. X x

AshokanFarewell Fri 10-May-13 04:53:26

I'm struggling to find the right words but I am so sorry for your loss. Your love for your husband, and boys, is so evident in every post. I will be thinking of you all today xxx

chipmonkey Fri 10-May-13 05:52:55

Survival, I am so very sorry for your loss. You are doing wonderfully well. Your boys sound so lovely and bless your ds2, he's the age my ds4 was when dd died and it is such a difficult age. You think they "get it" and then they say something which shows they don't. But a part of your dh will always be there in your precious boys.

Homebird8 Fri 10-May-13 06:32:03

I'm glad he looked so comfortable in his hoodie and that you felt up to seeing him after the trauma of the hospital. I'll be think it of you all tomorrow and will be here for you as the days go on. Pease don't worry about posting every day if you aren't up to it. We're here for you and I hope in some small way our quiet watch together supports you. You and your boys will make it the very best it can be.

DeafLeopard Fri 10-May-13 07:29:33

Wishing you love and strength today Survival.

lucidlady Fri 10-May-13 07:30:00

Thinking of you today, Survival.

johnworf Fri 10-May-13 08:02:33

You are in my thoughts today. ((((hug))))

FoxyRevenger Fri 10-May-13 08:05:26

Wishing you strength today Team Survival. xxxx

ssd Fri 10-May-13 09:36:18

hope today goes as well as it can xx

Rowgtfc72 Fri 10-May-13 10:09:05

Thinking of you and your family today x

So very sorry for your loss xx
Thinking of you and your boys today and sending strength and love.

5madthings Fri 10-May-13 12:00:29

Thinking of you and teamsurvival today, hope everything goes smoothly xxx

MunchkinsMumof2 Fri 10-May-13 14:46:41

I have been thinking about you and your darling boys and willing the funeral to pass as perfectly as possible for you all. I can't imagine your pain but I too can tell just how loved your darling husband is and how much he loves you and your boys. Sending many ((((((hugs)))))))

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