I had a missed miscarriage 3 weeks ago. I was 12 weeks along and was told the baby's heartbeat had stopped within the last week or so. I had a curette and still bleeding slightly.
Anyway I was just starting to get my emotions and head in order and accepting the fact that my youngest sister will be due to have her baby a month before my due date, when my other sister who lives overseas rings to say she was pregnant - I was happy for her - sad but happy. When she told me that her due date was exactly the same date I was due, I felt like someone had kicked me in the guts. I wanted to scream at her but I know it was hard for her to ring and tell me her good news. Naturally, I feel like I have gone back several steps in my healing process. My poor mother doesn't know how to feel - she like feels sad and happy and angry.
I know there is nothing that time won't heal - its just of all the people in the world, my sister had to have the same due date as me - God has a cruel sense of humour.
I will just have to be brave when over the next few months, the conversation in the family will revolve around pregnancies. It won't be easy but they are my sisters and I want nothing but happiness for them - that is what big sisters do - look out for the younger ones.
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raw deal indeed
3 replies
pinkhearts · 16/05/2006 11:50
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