My partner died three weeks ago. I found him 6 hours later.
I just cannot cope. I have a huge sense of guilt for not being here for him. I miss him so so much. I have some great friends but they have their own lives/partners/family. They tell me I should call them but I cannot show my emotions to others. I can't ask for help.
I have seen a counsellor and although I don't think it helped, I will keep going.
But I have done nothing but cry today, it's Sunday, the only day we had off together and we should be out enjoying the sunshine, doing things that couples do but he's not here.
I miss him so much. I want him back. Failing that, I want to be with him. Which is stupid because he didn't believe that there is anything else and I kind of agree. I just know that I don't want to be here without him. People say it will get better but when I talk to other bereaved people they tell me that it takes a long long time for it to get better and I don't want to feel this hurt anymore.
I have also lost my job and we lived together in accommodation supplied by my employers. I now have to leave our home.
I am completely lost and empty. I really really don't want to go on on my own.
Sorry for the ramble. I don't know what I want to achieve with this post but people keep telling me to write it all down!!
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Bereavement
Can't cope.
18 replies
Bereavednanny · 21/04/2013 16:06
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