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Find bereavement help and support from other Mumsnetters.

Bereavement

I've lost my mum

21 replies

dtsmum · 20/04/2013 03:10

I'm devastated :( She died on Monday night. She was my Mum, my best friend, I have no idea how to move on from this....

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AmandaCooper · 20/04/2013 03:14

I'm so sorry dtsmum you must be devastated. Is someone there with you?

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butterfliesinmytummy · 20/04/2013 03:17

So sorry, I lost my mum 13 years ago. The pain does lesson and you will find a way to go on but for now you need to grieve in your own way. You mum will always be part of you. Take care x

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dtsmum · 20/04/2013 03:23

I have had lots of support, my DH, DS, my Dad my DB. But they're not my Mum. We moved in to a house 5 doors down to be nearer to her, a month ago. I am lost....I couldn't talk to anyone until tonight, I haven't even been outside, apart from going to the shop with DS for some fresh air :(

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WetWeekend · 20/04/2013 03:26

I'm so sorry for your loss

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dtsmum · 20/04/2013 03:31

Seriously wetweekend? Whats the about?

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AmandaCooper · 20/04/2013 03:34

No one can replace your DM and nothing can make up for her loss. I can't imagine how you must be feeling but I'm very glad to hear you are not on your own x

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ClaudiaSchiffer · 20/04/2013 03:39

I'm so sorry dtsmum, that's really really awful. Try to keep going and be comforted that you had a month really close to her. Not enough though I know.

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AmandaCooper · 20/04/2013 03:41

OP look here I'm sure it was a mistake.

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dtsmum · 20/04/2013 03:45

Ok, Sorry I'm a relatively new poster.
I've had lots of support in RL, but not people who know what I'm really going through so thought I'd post on here.
Probably the wrong place....sorry x

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AmandaCooper · 20/04/2013 06:08

You are not at all in the wrong place you are absolutely in the right place. There is excellent support and advice on these boards and I'm sure that once the sun is up lots of people will be along who can relate to what you are going through and will offer support and condolences. Hang in there sweetheart.

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Isthiscorrect · 20/04/2013 06:24

I have no words or you, just a big hug, prayers and hand holding. Xxxx

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NotTreadingGrapes · 20/04/2013 06:27

So sorry for your loss.

You aren't in the wrong place at all.

More people will be along later to hold your hand.

Do you want to tell us about her?

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cogitosum · 20/04/2013 06:49

I'm really sorry for you loss x

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LittleAbruzzenBear · 20/04/2013 06:55

Really sorry for your loss . Hope you have people in RL who will help you.

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madasa · 20/04/2013 07:09

I'm so sorry dtsmum.
It is so painful. Small steps....an hour at a time or maybe even just 5 minutes.
There are no rights or wrongs to grieving and you can't go under, over or round it...you have to go through it. It's hard....it's the hardest thing I have ever had to do but you will find the strength...you really will.
Lean on people in RL and post here as much as you want to, there is some amazing support here.
Sending you love and strength x

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plum100 · 24/04/2013 21:54

DTSMUM - how are you feeling today? I know exactly how you feel - when I lost my mum I felt like I didnt even know how to function without her xxx

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t875 · 25/04/2013 17:06

DTSMUM (()))to you. Really know what your going through and it's horrendous.
Minute by minute, hour by hour day by day, it's a very hard time.
Surround yourself with people who will give you comfort and be there for you.
And do what gives you comfort. It's been a year for me now and it has got a little easier but still get some tough days and miss her loads like I say best friend.
There is CRUSE help line bereavement councilling that helped me to talk too a few times.
Please come and find our thread here for loss of parent.
My thoughts are with you and your family x

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dtsmum · 28/04/2013 09:38

Sorry, I haven't been able to get on here for a while. Went to see Mum in the chapel of rest on Friday. My Dad, bless him, went in first and promised me he would use his judgement on whether we should see her not. I'm a grown woman with a family and I feel like a small child again. Mum was always the person I went to when I was upset and now she's not here to comfort me
My Mum wasn't even that unwell. She was having treatment for something and it should have made her better, but it killed her instead. She was dying in front of us and we didn't realise.
She should still be here

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chimchar · 28/04/2013 09:46

dts...i'm so very sorry to read about your mum.

I lost my mum very unexpectedly in what sounds like similar circumstances going on four years ago.

It is shit. it really is.

You have to take things slowly...hour by hour. just get through the days however you can.

I felt wounded and physically unwell..... as the days and weeks went by, it became easier to deal with.

not a day goes by when I don't miss my mum and her friendship, but you will smile again...I promise.

be kind to yourself. xx

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t875 · 28/04/2013 12:07

I know exactly what you mean and the hardest thing is I feel like I've lost my dad too, it's like he's aged 10 years to 80 from nearly 70!!

I miss her like mad but it is also true and as the times moved on I have been better but can still hit me hard.

I also think my mum was I'll but we knew nothing, she didn't say anything but then again wouldn't have done as she breezed over everything. I was lost def for the first 6 -8 months pining for her so much was very hard at times esp for the first birthdays without her. Still blows my mind to think she isn't here but I can't think like that too much as it obliterates me.

Thinking of you xx