That sinking feeling.......

[bonkerz]

OK need some positive thoughts and to be told how lucky i am. Lost 2 babies and my mother in a year and am feeling quite low today! Was watching video footage dating back to Nov 2003 of my children and my mum was in the back ground, burst in to tears but managed to pick myself up BUt ive just watched casualty of all things and a lady on there had lost her baby! It really hit home and i think today has been all too much.

[bonkerz]

Strange how you can go for weeks not succombing to the grief and then it hits you and knocks you off your feet!

[WigWamBam]

Oh darling ... sometimes things just pile up a bit and take you by surprise, don't they. You've had such a lot to cope with over the last 12 months, it's no wonder that sometimes it's all just a bit too much. It's OK to still be grieving for your babies and your mum, it takes time.

[PanicPants]

Oh poor you bonkerz. You sound like you have children (if they're not the ones you lost iyswim) and thats such a huge huge bonus.

I've lost 3 babies (2m/c and an ectopic, all fairly early) but now I've a beautiful ds, I count my blessings everyday for him.

Hugs to you

[bonkerz]

I do have 2 beautiful children, my Ds and my DD who was only born because i lost my 2 babies, my little angel is the most precious little thing but sometimes it hurts when i lok at her, does that make sense?

[WigWamBam]

Probably because it still hurts him too ... only he's a man and thinks he can't show it.

Those two children of yours are gorgeous you know; losing your babies will never go away but it makes your children all the more precious.

[bonkerz]

great minds ay WWB or maybe its just that you have experiance too. Thank you, am thinking i should go get a hug from my amazing DH!

[WigWamBam]

Yeah, I think that's a nice idea - get some snuggles from the kids in the morning as well.

It's been 20 years since I had my miscarriage - just the one, and sometimes I still cry about it too. It's a cliche and I hate cliches but it really does get easier - it will never go away but it hurts less over time.

[bonkerz]

hanks am off to bed now, will defo give kids a huge huggle in morning , NIght WWB

[WigWamBam]

Night, hope you feel better in the morning.

I don't normally do cyberhugs but have a {{{hug}}} from me as well xx

[PanicPants]

Yes I do understand. I wouldn't have ds if I hadn't had the last m/c. It's bitter sweet all at the same time.

But you've got the added sadness of your mum.

Lots of hugs from your lovely children and dh. WWB it's so true what you say, it gets easier with time, but every now and again it catches up with you and slaps you in the face. It's all the 'what if's', and the 'well, if I hadn't have lost the baby it would be due/be 1, be 2 etc today'.

Sleep tight xx